Thursday, 26 April 2012
Spring'n'things
There
is no secret service that could match an old lady. I am telling you. There is
nothing one can ever do escape the watchful eye of your grandmother, when she’s
on a prowl. :D
But
oddly enough, with everything happening, my life is remarkably good right now. I
could name a dozen things that are terrible or tragic, but in truth, I feel
uncharacteristically optimistic and calm. Let’s blame the spring, shall we? I
doubt there’s any point in taking pickies, since everyone knows springs are pretty,
but there is no doubt that spring is better than (late) winter, like summer is
better than fall. Falls, like evenings, represent an end and I do not like
ends. Like I could never compare spring and summer, because I am a creature of
light and heat, but I love this chilly freshness in the morning, which slowly
crawls out of its shell, develops and hits you full blast with a 100°F by the
time for a luncheon – better be wearing short sleeves and t-shirt when that
occurs and my lovey lovey flipflops.
Sometimes,
when your life gets sticky, there come nights when you really can’t sleep. I
didn’t think that’s supposed to be literal, but there actually has been a month
not far back, when I would lay in bed, staring at the ceiling, thinking – how did
we fuck up so badly? How are we ever going to get out of this?... There would be fighting, tears, no sex, no
productivity… Then a friend told me – a financial crisis is not the end of the
world. It may feel like it, but if you have everything else, just not the money,
that doesn’t make you a lost person. It makes you a moron to act as if it was. The
trick is not to start selling off stuff you’ve accumulated so far. That’s
indeed what losers do - the trick is finding a lucrative way to get out of it,
pronto. I don’t know if we’ve found a way to become quite rich, but we are
certainly no longer in the ‘staying awake at night, listening to the dog fart’
period. It just took a little clawing out of a proverbial pit.
Or
it could just be the spring.
Necessity
is the mother of invention. NEVER overlook that, never forget. Laying down arms
in the heat of battle is the most loserish thing you can ever do. ANYONE could
do that. There’s no fighting spirit in that at all. Laying down arms AFTER you’ve
fought, cheated, stole, tricked, fucked all the officers AND their horses and
lost all your castles, then consider defeatist strategies. But until then, don’t
hide underneath a corpse and wait for a miracle. You’d be missing all the fun.
On
a related subject, Barky nearly had a fit yesterday, when we went to the doctor’s
office for a yearly anti-rabies shot. I wonder if kids will act the same, only
louder? It’s not like anything bad ever happened to her there, but ghosts of a
million dead pets must linger over the building and she’s never ever stepping into it
voluntarily. This was the first time anyone gave her a cookie and she wouldn’t
even sniff it. Tiny freak, clad in normality :))
Also,
I have a zit on my chin. A ZiT. I’m 35 and I have a zit. I understand having a mustache
– you get it if you kiss someone with a mustache very many times – but a zit?
And yesterday my sis bought some of the most fattening and jummyest food in existence,
which naturally killed my dieting resolve, but it was oh so worth it. The good
thing about being very fat and losing 10 pounds is nobody really notices and
all clothes still fit, so you never have to bring it up in a conversatin. Ten
more to go. Then fingers crossed the damn therapy will work, because I am not
too thrilled about needles either. I’ve pricked my finger on a thorn few days
ago and still won’t shut up about it :P
Writing
about Nuada brought me to a strange place. There’s a moment of serenity around
the characters, between when he already knows he is too late to seek absolution
– when all the flowers in the old professor’s room die - and the time he commits suicide by courtesan.
I started working on a scene yesterday, when he finds an old doctor’s bag (my
great-granddad’s) amidst Kay’s things and asks if she’s ever learned to use these
things she’s been blessed with inheriting. They spend a day in some old world,
slightly ‘Mists of Pandaria’ seasoned, where she learns how to use every tool
in the bag. It’s perhaps the moment when she decides to start actively changing
things for the better by doing painful and gory things. My dog has never been
as frightened as she was yesterday, which sucked big time, but what we did will
ensure she doesn’t get ill and die a very painful death. Funny profession,
really… A traveling healer. Traumatic, yet touched by God.
And
now I’m back to a diet of apples and tea. Another gruesome, determined act. And
showering. Oh, how I hate showering. Almost as much as I hate socks :P
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