Bent chassis and broken block

It does me good lately to read that weird movie's articles and write down fiction dialogues my character has/would have with Theo. I came to realise a couple of very interesting things about the meaning of life, fish and whatnot other stuff. One such is, that feelings are usually, or they should be, a side effect to ambition, not the cause of it. We want something, we employ brain and body to get there, and as a glow we go though (e)motions. It isn’t feelings that drive us, not at all. They are, however, unavoidable as soon as we get moving.

                The second thing was the continuance of the ‘people worship every god they can think of’ debate we started yesterday. Why do people do that? Why do people gawk and sigh at everything that appears to be an ounce closer to being sublime? It has nothing to do with how beautiful, healthy, eternally young and seemingly rich they all are or could be if they ever got bored with asceticism.They just seem so slightly more, and in majesty - free.

                Normal people are invalids for their tiny, insignificant daily needs. Only just to fulfil those needs takes away almost all the energy, all the time and every thought – leaving us utterly incapable of breaking out. It is why people who don't follow rules are called crazy. Or brave. I understand now why some religious trends preach total lack of earthly possessions – to make room for airy thoughts of how simple things would be if we were wind or air or water. But that’s not life. Humans need food, we need clean drinks, we need warmth and protective clothes, we need a shelter and we need to cut corners on time, so we don’t waste it. At the end of the day, when we’ve made sure we got all those things in one colour or the next, there is precious little opportunity left to exercise greatness. 90% of great things happen to people by coincidence and 10% happen for a terrible price.

                Theo would say – "You think I don’t have problems, because I am one step closer to being a God than you? I worry all the time; I have to be careful all the time. My problems are far greater than yours. Only problem is, this is not a competition. A problem is a problem. We tend to make them, you and I alike, intellectually or emotionally, in equal proportion. Don’t ask me why we do that, I don’t know. I like to think it makes sense, though. Not because there somewhere awaits a moment in which all our problems will be solved, and the universe will become a lot smaller, but because our minds will be a lot bigger and our calm and conscious thought will be less a slave to a problem and more a dancing partner. Perhaps in the grand scale of things, mathematically, fundamentally, chaotically, issues have issues too and they need very clever little creatures like us to try and solve them - just to prove to whoever's watching, no matter what they throw at us, we will challenge and eventually we will make each issue null."