Sometimes I wish that my problems were the world's problems. When a wrong is done to me, I want the whole world to acknowledge that and pity me or say 'there, there' or combat on my behalf. For what I believe is proper. Sometimes I pretend I am the queen of the planet. I rule everything and everybody. Of course that's impossible, because this planet's people cannot be ruled, because they are incapable of believing someone wants them to live long and prosper, but ... I pretend I was elected by aliens to represent this planet and try to explain it, interpret the behavior of my species and try to negotiate political and economic benefits from other alien nations. It's the worst job in the world. Ninety percent of the time someone else wants to take my position, not really wanting it or understanding it, just thinking it is better deserved on them. Other 9 percent religious fanatics are trying to kill me. 0,5 percent of the time, I am on televised conferences, explaining WHY I would give someone one third of our sea water in exchange for a cure from a virus that's heading our way to exterminate our greenery. The rest I am simply sending out votes so that the retarded people of this fucked up planet get to vote against things I propose and then I watch them suffer and die out of stupidity. Like: could everyone refrain from rape and wife beating and petty greedy murder for one week, so that when the peace inspectors arrive, they see we're trying? No? Not even an hour?

If a day comes and someone is elected to be the king of this planet, like Dalai Lama or the Pope or something, I dare you to make one single global decision people will agree with, mothefucker, I double dare you!