Had a shitty moment yesterday.. I got into a conversation about a guy who treated me like the shit on the heel of his boot when I was hired to work for him. To this day that is the worst and most humiliating photoshoot I have ever done, but now the guy bought his own fancy camera and is calling himself a photographer and is guven a lot of money to take pretty pretty pictures of exotic places, where he is having the fun of his life with his wife .... Just before the conversation, I was trying to construct my CV and was working on a public portfolio... But then I saw my torn shoes, for which I have no money, and we had no money for food and was hungry, and I was cold and we didn't have any money for heating ... I got a phonecall, asking me to do something in a hurry and a small budget was mentioned, and I thought ... Why the fuck do I bother with CVs and portfolions and even breathing if nothing I do is ever EVER paid for? I am so fucking poor. There is no job in the world for a portrait photographer from Slovenija. I don't suck cocks, I don't have a famous daddy, I don't know hot to sell shit and call it gold, so people would pay me to take photos of exotic beaches, all expenses paid for me and my spouse and, oh, in case I may need it, a new fancy camera. I am worthless. I am nothing.

I am waiting for the shitty moment to pass.