The culling has made me physically sick - if I never see another split open pig's head dripping brain onto the floor, I will be just fine, thank you. my stomach has turned so many times Saturday, it hasn't settled yet. I'm bothered by smells and associations. Ye, I am seriously going almost vegetarian from here on. An occasional chicken sandwich and dumplings here and there, but other than that, no more terrified screaming pigs being slaughtered for me. Jesus fuck that was unsettling.

As a countermeasure, I have asked an acquaintance to get me a job at a city waste yard, preferably working the hardest tasks. I am far more comfortable working with trash as I am with humans. Fingers crossed I get it. I miss absurdly menial jobs. Haven't had one in almost a decade. 

Venting my nausea by drawing adult drawing pages - it's not porn, though that's how it sound, it's just not frozen either - and assembling the midrif chapter of goose. I've decided that I want ALL of it to be humorous and adventurous, even the depressing bits, because I need that bit to shine out from between the start and the finish. I also added a new last line for the ending. 

I watched a good YouTube video on capitalism. ow I know above all that ignorance is the worst - but you can really never know everything. there is SO MUCH to learn about so many things from SO many time layers...