I've taken a micro vacation at the professor's again, to
sort of butter over my nerves, which is working. Though the weather is fit
right for the worst of depression movies, no matter, as the days are still so
short the night comes quickly and then everything glitters and is pretty. I'm
staying here three days, a long time by General's standards, which he claims to
be enjoying immensely. I can hear him burb when we're talking on the phone,
which means he's secretly been buying and drinking Coke. As far as I can tell
he's just chillaxing, tired after work, watching Lucifer and X files, eating
sandwiches and allowing the dog to roam around the apartment. We've spoken more
about me working on a boat. I imagine this is a tiny test of our ability to
stay away from one another for longer. Four days is the longest we've been
separate in nine years. The interesting bit about this is, I have grown hugely
co-dependent and lacking adventure courage. I always think – but if I leave now
and someone in my family gets sick or something … What a terrible attitude to
have! Although he is the one who got me this way, I think he misses the old me
and agrees these are feats I should get back, because they made me cool.
Met with three graces yestereve, over waffles. Ema, which
I refer to as a blend between a go-go dancer and a president, who is around 20,
viciously beautiful, but still incredibly young and, as I stressed, needs to
know more about Slovenian history and anthropology if she was going to fool
around with public relations. Nina, a stand-up comedienne and barrel drummer,
who is making her thesis about Pakistan and their sudden media-cowered bullying
stance towards anybody who has the ill fortune of bordering on it. And Maja,
the handsome, religious one, who has taken the time of lent to banish negative,
all-caring attitudes and is now thinking positive, selfish thoughts and is the
happiest and freshest I've seen her in a long time. It is always a good thing
to put yourself first. Really. It leaves a lot more room for others to bask in
your energy, as opposed to weariness and sadness that just skulks people away.
The professor and I have talked hours on end about
several inter-relationship issues, most of which I chose to laugh at, disagree
with or blatantly oppose. Her house is just across the river from the main
hospital, which gives the neighborhood a very NewYorky feel to it, what with
all the sirens coming in and out. This city deems itself fully the center of
everything regarding the nation, they claim to have the most prestigious, most
elitestest and bestest primary school there is, which I imagine means their
alphabet has 35 letters or something. Dumb self serving fucks. The apartments
here are cold white empty shitholes, costing stupid money, but of course every
magazine that is published regarding anything only ever touches on the citizen
of here. Gods how I hate architects. They shit gold. Everything is super pretty
and super pricey. From time to time I get that chill, you know, which you get
if you are naked in a hotel bathroom, in a foreign place, profound
homesickness, though mostly it just makes me wish I had money so I could buy
pretty things that I would seldom use. But they would be pretty. I like the
professor's home, though, she is a perfect balance of minimalist and perfectionist
and though the place is white, cold and empty (not really cold, I am writing
this in my underwear until she wakes up, the place is a fucking sauna), it is
littered with adorable detail, like a minute pestle for salt, thin tall plant
with heart leaves in burgundy or a puffy white Ikea lamp. Also, of course, she
has lots of books. No amount of shitty chic serves any glory when rich people
don't have lots of books. We talked about some worldly renowned architect that
they plan to make a monument to, which of course is only worldly famous because
he made a couple of posh rich houses in the middle of the capitol, but let them
have him for other rich capitol politicians. I'm from a tiny, boring redneck town. We have
big apartments with actual wooden floors from the late 18th century, and our pets are ugly. Does make me wish I had
herbs in pots, though. I have zero green thumb and all plants always die on me,
but having basil, rosemary and other stuff right on your kitchen window, that
sounds lovely. Course my kitchen blows, so it would be nice to have a cute
little kitchen, too. Eh, well.
She's showed me my star card, interpreting that change
for me is good, I need a job, and something will occur in four months when
something passes something and in four years, another big thing will occur. I
kind of hope this means I will finish Goose in four months and in four years it
will become an international bestseller, but it can mean everyone but me dies
in a car accident also. She said there is no higher education in my future,
which I am starting to believe, because I cannot find a school I would want to
go to, though an interesting job might be. We put a makeshift map for General
as well, but were only able to interpret that yes, he needs to start thinking
in a different way, because his stability is bordering on staleness. He is
about to shift jobs also. And is secretly very romantic.
She's still asleep now, in this tiny condo, only the
clock and the cat move around. Every sound is booming in this place, even me
tapping the iPad, so tea will have to wait. Yes, I said tea. Or, fuck it, I'll
just drink water. I'm still managing well without coffee, even despite this
weather. Rain, rain. Rivers have risen and the nutrias are lazily weathering on
the banks, big fat silly rats that they are. So cute. I've began reading Guns, germs and steel to find out what
makes the whites the most aggressive of races, and am watching American Crime Story: ppl vs OJ Simpson,
which is well enough done to keep me interested. You can see Cuba Gooding Jr. is
hoping his performance will put him back in business and Sarah Poulson is also
invested, though she is getting more famous but sometimes acts as if her heart
wasn't really in it. They chose the Kardashians very well. Those people are
fucking gruesome even when others play them.
