Monday, 25 January 2021

Not diabetic after all

My mother and my husband finally chased me down, cornered me, and stabbed me with the world's smallest needle, to draw the smallest imaginable droplet of blood from my finger, to measure my blood sugar. To explain: I asked them to do this - I am ridiculously afraid of the idea of being stabbed by something small (says someone perfectly familiar with self-harming or being beaten with a rope or belt during sex play - but needles, fuck no.) - and third, I was almost absolutely certain that my dizziness is a symptom of developing diabetes. Namely, because I eat A LOT of sweets, or at least I had until recently, at which point... probably since my father's death and his gangrenous diabetic legs ... I am becoming oddly averse to glucose. The evidence of this may be a pilling of sweets in the fridge and my cookie box: I still buy a lot of them, out of inertia, I just don't eat them. I used to eat the wrapper, too. 

But I don't have elevated blood sugar. In fact, I have it oddly low, 5,5. I was convinced it's something like 17 or such. Even the General, who was forced to demonstrate the procedure before I stopped karate-begone-satan fighting them off, is within totally normal, even though he had sweet breakfast an hour before. My regime is effective.

So, on the plus side, no, I am not diabetic. But I am still hella dizzy. And may or may not have an ear infection, but that is difficult to tell in my case, as I am always half-deaf, always have oily ears due to ear pods and am already dizzy. 

I wonder if it's my notoriously low blood pressure ...? I used to be able to boost it by taking long fast walks and strong coffee, but lately I get dizzier when I'm upset? Guess we're back to wondering whether it's a brain tumour or psychosomatic. Considering my psyche, the head ought to have fallen off or have exploded by now. Have you met me? 

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