The sickness I am feeling over the disappointment and defeated anger is starting to affect my health. Hard to say if I am nearing any kind of breaking point, because I am medicated. But even medicated, I feel as if I am going to throw up all the time. There are no words to describe how ashamed I am of the results of that awful book. How remarkably humiliated I feel. As if I am being laughed at. A joke. Whatever comments I sent are ignored. More than half of my photos are replaced. Almost none of the fucking .gifs are used. Whole chapters have been thrown out, without a word to me. And this before I started begging people for additional pictures. Without a word to me.
    I am crying all the time. I am so heartbroken. So incredibly fucking retarded to have ever thought there creeps will want a good book from me. What a sick fucking joke.
    I ate a very lot of popcorn today. Hoping a date with a friend will cheer me up, but it only made me feel worse. The popcorn drained all my tears. Now I am just sick. I am walking around like a zombie. I hate everything. There is no greater joke than a neophyte expecting a happy story out of selling out to a big company.
   Betch ya a million bucks they will fuck me up over payment as well. Because I am so damn easily devoured.