A D J E C T I V E S

(Unrelated)

Three new shows have landed, possibly worth watching - it's been a dry spell for a spell - Barry, Terror and Trust. I'll let you know if any of the them live up to the hype ...

(Less related)

Supposedly from now, the weather's gonna be getting warmer and , from time to time, less gray. 

Now to the jibbies :D

My mum complained - we had family lunch yesterday - that for every bunch of crime novels she orders on-line, they also send her a complimentary romance novel, for reasons unfathomable. I braved to check it out and discovered AN EYE OPENING new genre ...

I did NOT know books like this exist, I fuck you not. And I don't mean I didn't know people don't write them. Sure, I've written romance fan fiction with lotsa hookie when I was twelve - but this stuff gets ... sold in BILLIONS, is considered a superb Victorian novel, translated in 50+ languages and ... 

I am shot. Not shocked. Shot. It honestly feels like someone's shot me in the stomach. No, I'm not being dramatic. I exist in the world where Bill Bryson's latest is considered a bad book.

I could have sworn the author - a lady named Brenda Joyce is a fiction herself, a model posing as a bland, easily relatable Midwestern mother of four, while a studio does the actual writing - a number of ghost authors spewing horror onto pages, told to ... "Just when you think you cannot sink any lower ... start digging ..."  ... Now add an enthusiastic translator and ... This is what I want to show you.

Y'all know my war on adjectives. It's my vegan cause. Okay, look:

N.B., the count of D, is a passionate American with a secret past, who holds a vast estate near London. For his elegant, dark appearance and gloomy reputation he is known also as the Lord of Darkness. The rude Texan playboy is the opposite of a man fit to bring the woman out of an English beauty. 

J.B. is a naive English maiden. When one day she appears on the doorstep of a mighty stone mansion, she is shivering with fear - and excitement. Her naive nature is in sharp contrast to the passionate temperament of N.B. They are destined for a dark storm of passion ... but also a wild, unstoppable love. 

..


...
I

 ..
I got ... ng ... ng ..
I got chills.
The word passion is used three time. Naive is used twice. Three times they use double adjectives. And I fuck you not, this is rated AWESOME on Amazon.

I just don't know what to do. I at least hope there's some honest to Gawd fucking in here, because if I start reading and nobody KhalDrogos anyone, I'll borrow G's hatchet and commit the darkest of crimes.