Am so nervous about this stupid fucking virus I just ate a bagel which was accidentally unsalted and freaked out - two people had to try a piece to confirm it's not me who's lost all taste, but the bagel. 

         Nine days in dad still has no symptoms at all. I am beginning to suspect his test was a false positive and they just wheeled him to a Covid ward in the middle of the night and left him there. Had I not gone batshit hysterical and kidnapped him from the hospital, he might have actually contracted something. I think I will hold onto this version, as it makes me sound heroic and everyone is fine in the end. Three days to go and they can get their dog back. Not that much will change, mum will just return the furniture and curtains and paintings I took out, and won't have to get upset so much when she finds crumpets in the morning. That is not a metaphor, he literally sneaks into the pantry to steal the good food in the middle of the night. As I said, we've calculated that into the risk factor and mum disinfects everything regardless.