Monday 7 April 2014

Divergent - simulation programme: hump me.



 No, seriously. Dude. Stop talking. Hump me.
I don't care what your name is. Four, Jo-jo, Daisy. Whatever. Hump me.
I don't care about your tattoos. Damn those factions, being only five, going only so low… Just hump me.
Yes, I'll lay in the chair. I'll hook my subconscious on you. I'll climb a rusty Ferris wheel. Hump me.
Stop staring at me, stop picking fights in the parterre, stop throwing knives at me, stop asking me if I'm Dimwitted. Hump me.
Who cares about all those famous actors, all those social subplots, both my parents dying, my classmates trying to murder me and a total, total lack of any coherent or intelligent narrative. Like what the fuck was with that train? They have no electricity, but an empty electrical train continues to run around all the time? But really who cares. Hump me.
I say ‘let’s take it slow, cause I may die tomorrow, but virginity in adult girls is important’, but really: hump me.
Hump me now.
That’s pretty much all I saw in that movie. A retarded actress mind-humping the shit out of every scene she shares with a hot hottie from Golden Boy. It was the only interesting thing about the whole experience (besides company and popcorn.) Maybe scenery/landscape. But good gods, what budget on a story that makes Twilight seem deep. 

A taste of literature this movie is based upon:

Dude, for the love of god, just hump me already!

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