Had to go down to the police station to file a report regarding a petty theft, and the partner of the officer who took my statement was our age random-looking fella, but he spoke with the Goatland accent and my ovaries stood at attention like Doberman ears. Who needs Brad Pitt or Idris Elba, if you have Goatland yokels!

I hate my brain.

... Was thinking - that moment when you realize you're old - for me it was when the saying 'Youth is wasted on the young' made perfect sense ... And today I was passing the statue of an old medieval philosopher-poet, this proud, venerated bronze statue of an academy man, thinking "he was actually kinda hot"...

     I'm gaining on him, age-wise.