Osti jarej!

It seems like we won't be participating in the hunt this Sunday, as the General is still on a verge of dying from cholera (read: he has sniffles), so the universe has fired up my morning (spent thinking of the Hunter) by putting him directly on my path as I was off to shop for drawing paper in a mall just outside the town. I don't think I've ever seen him in civilian clothing, in the Real world, at least not for a couple of years. Never out of nowhere. Fuck he's hot. Good taste. Great color choices. If you can imagine me - in my old dirty (*paint dirty) trainers, ugly old battered shoes, cheap jacket that does nothing for my femininity and a cap that looks like part of PJs you get in a mental asylum, well, he is the opposite. Good, new clothes, good body, dark and elegant. Good stride on the man. I made a mocking serious frowny face when he failed to register me until we were nearly within reach, and then he snapped out of his trajectory and beamed up, recognizing me. He reached for my elbow in kinda half-hug closeness and I asked him 'sup. He asked how is the General and I commented he acts as defeated and miserable as my dog over there (as the dog looks like the sorriest, most abandoned stray ever when she has to wait outside a store and she really makes it work for all she's worth when she can tell I am looking at her.) I asked if he has time for a coffee and he said sorry, no, just on his way to (some city, I forget which.) I asked what's there and he gave me the knowing, slightly diabolical look: you know, fieldwork. (He's an inspector.) Oh, he must be hella scary, walking into places all official-like. I wonder if he's nasty. Beautiful AND cruel. Damn.

             I wish people didn't have such filthy minds. I wish I could go out and spend the whole winter night sitting in a hunter's outpost, looking at the forest, watching him breathe and think, study the woods and prowl, and nobody would assume something indecent took act. That way the General's reputation would not be challenged and this whole desire I keep adding fuel to, which has NOTHING to do with wanting to suck someone's dick - nothing, in a hundred years - would be understood for the giddy exhilaration that it is. 

            Made me laugh, the thought of kissing him, the other day, when the General again explained how the women of their region react. If he told his father and the hunter's son, the men would be insulted, their feelings hurt, their faith in me and my decency tarnished, but ... 'okay, it is just a kiss,' they would say. 'A kiss is nothing serious. Women act out in romantic crap like that.'

            Yet if he told his MOTHER and the hunter's WIFE, well. That would probably be the last you hear of me, dear blog. Nobody would ever find my scattered chopped-up pieces. You do NOT cross the kind, gentle women of the region these men are from. They have been known to choke a wild boar.