Most people don't get to
know when the last coffee with someone is going to be – life is just rolling on
and then one day a change comes and you never get to have coffee with them
again. It’s just a shift in seasons. That’s why I never leave anything unsaid.
Most people don’t get to exercise this sort of commitment in the Real world.
Not to themselves, at least. I am too old and far too loved not to know when
crazy comes to town. Like a string you keep on tugging – and then it breaks – I
always feel deep and rich sadness and then there is calmness and good memories
again.
I will miss my job at
the movie theater like a bitch. This was such a fun time. I actually really
liked every minute of it – there were only two instances in which a customer
was rude and I was too tired to parry, but there were million scenes of friendliness
and chatter. I miss a myriad of excellent things that I experienced there daily
already - I will miss making the plans. Not so much being treated like the
village idiot, but I will miss the lessons learnt.
I will miss the old
ladies, chatty Cathies that loved the films and loved the books and love this
city. I will miss the artist caste of this town, coming in opinionated and
passionate. I will miss Niko, stomping in unexpectedly with his scowl and a
pack of orphans, like Snufkin with his 27 kids. I will miss the waitresses. I
will miss the operator and his strange, strange otherworldly patience with the
world. I will miss the other 300 avid cinephiles, and their secret lists. All
this inspired me to pursue other careers in culture. I developed vast ambitions
for it, and an odd sense of encouragement from everyone I met.
I am not designed
for serfdom. Too much of an absolute passion in everything I do. I am not designed
to be content with credit. I only do as long as it makes me happy. I love to
work. Don’t love being told what to do, funny enough. Leave me alone, let me make my magic. There will be some tactical regrets, obviously.
The balcony will be one. That was an amazing balcony. The movies. Clearly. New friends. It is too easy to say ugly things about quiet people. The last casualty
will probably be the newly made contacts. Ah, the quality of my performance. Ah, my childish inability to take the bullshit. Ah,
being compared to my sister. Nay, ye Gods,
anything but that!
LOL.
