Gotta give it to my brain, it's not as dumb as it looks. I had a dream about my grandma calling me, to complain about how we haven't visited these past two years since she's not been awake (she's 102) - it's her birthday and she used to do it all the time, throwing tantrums when we didn't visit enough (and when we did, she just threatened to kill herself because we don't love her and she's a burden and we're ungrateful people...) So, you know, fun family stuff.. 

But the brain was, like: hm, but you've been asleep for two years and extremely senile before that, certainly too senile to form coherent sentences... (She would talk in oddly disjointed concepts that I could easily interpret, as I speak 'after stroke', having some experience with dad's seizures.) 'This can't be right. Is this a dream? '

I of course woke up instantly at that time, as dreams run away if they are busted. Good job, brain.

What a slow day...

 ... The last day of the sale. The upper target reached, almost all investments covered. (I still need to re-order a ton of envelopes - bland ones for normal traffic and pretty ones for traffic that's dubbing as human correspondence, so that French taxation doesn't come at me with a firing squad for the two sales I make to France yearly. (French wrapping tax is 80 bucks. German is 8.) And since new pans haven't yet arrived, I need to purchase the syringes to store new paint in until they do. They upped the price of the common 20 ml syringes by 200% overnight. I'm contemplating going back to washing them after use them. I swear, if I ever hire workers, one will be tasked just with washing used pans and suchlike. I'll be one of THOSE bosses :))))

     It's almost 11 in the morning and I haven't even woken up yet. My brain has slowed almost to a halt. (Though I am three days away from my period and I really need to get myself one of those grain-filled tummy pillows you can warm up in the microwave.) Going to bed early, sleeping till almost 8, shunning doggy walks, shunning reading, even jigsaw puzzles. I play a little Warcraft, watch a little bit of Netflix. It's drizzly and gray outdoors, I am sleepy, lazy and calm. Two or three more days. I feel like my whole existence is concaving to a little pile of worn clothes on the floor. Not in a bad way. In a comfy, sleepy, restful way. At this moment, all is good and I get to be completely and utterly bored, like a lazy kitten. 

     I am certain something shitty will happen soon enough. But for now, today, until 11am, I am as brainless and emotionless as a speck of dust tumbling in warm air above the radiator, my tummy full of cashews and the dog snoring gently in the corner.. 

Paint cakes :)))

 

Rings of Power Elves: what we were hoping for ... what we got..

 How the ef did they manage not to include a single fuckable elf in a 1 billion dollar show about elves?

Dear diary ...

It's almost the end of the year. They just turned on the winter lights in the town center, so the bustling makes it all feel extremely festive. So I feel like it's the end of the year.

Been a crazy year. So much has happened. A new niece! A new lens! A new camera I can almost use... I purchased SO many Dedoles socks and undies and even quite a few Merino wool knickers, which cost a buttload, but are the comfiest I have ever worn. My bum loves the wool, loved the sense of airiness and warmth. And the Dedoles socks, well. They are the cutest to exist. 

There have also been inks that words cannot describe, nibs and glass pens, the whole epoxy laboratory, soooo many books, the majesty new gun I bought for G with all its bells and whistles, and so many wonderful tidbits, half of them on AliExpress, and not at all that few new materials from the German stores. 

So far, everything has been lovely, although of course new laws, new taxes, new political stupidities will surely darken some of the skies in the future. I need to try and live up to the resolution of the last year and expand my business to small stores and shops worldwide... A new format, a new style, just for the slightly more 'mass' production. The goals for 2023 are: a tiny new car just for myself and the doggies (Fiat 500 possibly or any other three-door smallest kind), more dogs!, a telescope and a pilot license for a Cessna. Oh, and of course, at the top of the list, taking G to Iceland for a few weeks, driving him there. 

Half realistic goals. Half achievable goals. If the stars will have it, fickle little bitches, shining down on me like Gatsby's green light :)))))

Dear diary...

I know I've been neglecting you all too fiercely. 

Much has happened since my last confession.

I have all but gotten the new camera to work, even Photoshop has been making an effort to keep up and bridge the mirrorless formats. I am only having a wee bit of insubordination issues with the new lens, but we're getting there.

New WoW expansion will soon be upon us. I am mildly thrilled, whereas G has given up on it. 120 bucks for a pretty box for a game he doesn't plan to play. I am getting him a cool hunters' rifle instead, IRL

I've taken up karate and have gone 14 times already, skipping out only yesterday because I am not feeling a 100%. Not Covid, just this weird unpleasant, not all there feeling. I don't want to be caught in the rain after getting all heated and sweaty indoors. 

October's crush on Jack Skellington and Billie Eilish's rendering of Sally's song (and reading the Pumpkin Queen) has slowly drifted into November's crush on Adar - the only fuckable elf in the billion-dollar Tolkien show put out recently, which is the most beautiful bore since the Fall (2006). It isn't easy to watch other works by Joseph Mawle, as he tends to go for the freakishly depressing and weird in his opus. Some freakish fanfiction on him, too.

October was a record sale month, which I've not quite caught up with yet in November, being the 15th... You really never can tell. The Freaky Halloween and Spooky House paints have been wildly well received, same as Dark Mermaids and dark Dryades. I am currently working on some remakes and a whole range of blue shimmers called Frost. 

Not much else in other news. I saw a photo of my niece, which is the prettiest human I have ever seen, and we have a new president, same old same old. I've gone to a retarded metal-detecting-conservations seminar, but not yet to any of the communal hunts. Lyra is getting old and I am better off working. I feel indoor-y. But i am looking forward to getting another doggy, so as to force me to take my lazy old ass out more. 

Which I might do right now, because I discovered there is a bakery that makes Dobosh cake in town. Hello! Motivation, see??

Am again spitting bits of a tooth, though at least for now I am slowly starting to comprehend losing a filling is not as catastrophic as, say, breaking your face by being clumsy. By checking out the various dentists' offices, none of which are responding to my mail, I start to notice it's not even all that unusual. So I now hope not to break the rest of the walls still remaining (it WAS, technically, a third of the tooth that's broken off) by consuming food which can be devoured without chewing and has a ton of calories. Thank the gods for honey.

In the meanwhile, both our fans AND the AC are on full blast, doing their best to keep us sane - it's 35'C so far, with a heatwave barely starting. Yes, I am sore all over, however, walking out yesterday to stroll the doggo, despite it being 8pm, my dizziness returned after half an hour and I needed to return and hide in the cold bathtub. No matter how beautiful I find summers to be, they are hell here, in this filthy little city. Whole different story at G's parents' place. 95F in the country is like 70 in the real world. I am soaked in sweat even if I go out at 5am. Some weird rain keeps on falling from small puffs of clouds, only making everything more humid. 

. 

How have I not discoevred earplugs until now? Holy pickle.

WISHLIST (PAYMENT ALTERNATIVES) - because anyone can have money, but craft supplies are better :)))

STICKII - Vintage or Pop monthly subscriptions - 12 euro (24 euro for both).

https://stickiiclub.com/

PAPERGANG - 23 euro per box

https://papergang.com/?_ga=2.72204240.2136188413.1648479609-2057883587.1646769007

CORA CREA CRAFT box - 45 euro

https://www.etsy.com/shop/CoraCreaCrafts?ref=simple-shop-header-name&listing_id=799232185

anything, really, from THE WASHI SHOP

https://thewashitapeshop.com/

JUNK JOURNALER'S DELIGHT box - around 100 euro for three boxes...

https://www.cratejoy.com/subscription-box/cheery-bird-vintage/?pt=category&gs=arts-and-craft-subscription-boxes&cn=10&pn=3&ft=&sn=main

WILDFLOWER BOX - 17 euro a month - shipping...

https://wildflowerpaperclub.com/

... any of THESE, to be honest :D https://www.gathered.how/arts-crafts/stationery-subscription-boxes/

I had the privilege of playing with a small crow today. For about a minute. And by playing I mean I pretended to help and she pretended to need help, until her mother came and let me know I will be murdered unless I stop playing at once. 

       The thing is, on the doggy walk, we found a young bird, about the size of a pigeon, by the walkway. I approached it carefully, making little noises, and caressed it slowly, then picked it up, wondering what to do. One option was to put her in the bushes, away from the dogs and prying eyes. Another was to take it home and nurse it back to health. Its tail was all messed up. (My next-door neighbour is a vet.) But once I moved to pick up my bag and the dog on the leash, the bird got upset. Then its mother or whichever relative showed up, warning me to back off. As this was not my first encounter with crow parents, I knew to obey instantly. I still have a dent in my motorcycle helmet from the time I thought birds can't hurt me.

I'll admit. It's a good one.. :))

 

Dear Lord

So far today I've done alright.

I haven't gossiped,

I haven't lost my temper.

I haven't been greedy,

grumpy, nasty, selfish or

over-indulgent. I'm very

thankful for that. But in a few

minutes, Lord, I'm going to

get out of bed...

And from then on,

I'm going to need

a lot more help.

Amen.

And today my hand looks like it swallowed a tennis ball...

Gods, yes, my doctor is attractive, but I swear I am not deliberately maiming myself. I only visit them, like, once every three years or something, I am too embarrassed otherwise. 

I'm even getting these weird blistery thingies... Fun times.

Not saying this isn't deserved. I was being arrogant, fully aware that after we rob them of the honey (acacia, nomm nomm nomm), making room for chestnut (which needs to be removed, ere it gives them acidic poopoo), they will be in a homicidal mood. But it was a strenuous day and I wanted to help G, who was to return the combs to the hives. I said: gimme half, I'll start from this end and we'll meet in the middle. Neither of us was using the smoking thingie.

       Of course every time I opened the lid they came at me like arrows. And I knew which hive is the most aggressive, but I still totally ignored the onslaught. The savage bjash got me THROUGH the 3mm leather glove I paid good money for! And of course my brain immediately pitchen in, as my brain as an asshole: you do know this is your most protected area, right? Everything else is just a thin layer of canvas ....

       Haven't slept a bit tonight, it hurts insanely, like it's going to explode. Also tinkles, itches, burns and looks so funny :)))))

Stupid, stupid, stupid fucking infection

It was an infection. All along, well over two months of pain and confusion, worried there is something awfully wrong with me. I shat myself four times today, worried about what the doctors may find. 

A stupid fucking infection. Just some bacteria in the pee. Dealt with, with a handful of pills. 

Idiotic fucking bladder. It could have said something before I googled all kinds of colon cancer!!

General's line of the week

 Me: I thought of the perfect (fighter pilot) call sign for myself! Pigeon! And you ... can be ... Postman!

G: So in tandem, we'd be the Postal Pigeon? 

 Looks like the perfect weekend is going to be followed by a shitty week :/ 

Monday, 5am, starting strong ....

Maverick, 2022

 

So, there is a lot of really cool planes doing really cool stuff, there is a LOT of Goose, there's even some Ice, some PG romance, a ton of gay vibes, a pinch of chauvinism, some nice humour and a  LOT of whining about demons and shit. But it's totally worth seeing just for the planes and I really liked the scene in which Maverick, once again going all in, proves the manoeuvre against all the hotshot kids who never went even a little in, unaware that this is a suicide situation. The contrast between talented young 'uns and a dinosaur is palpable and very well done. Once again I loved how scarred Milles Teller is. It suits him in almost every role. 

Effiing Warcraft

Had a bit of a medical scare today, one of those... non-life-threatening but life-altering situations. I was really scared, to be honest, and hated the idea - basically, one bad news could knock me into imminent menopause, depression, loss of libido and overall getting fat and old and just ... not yet. I didn't want that yet, even though telling G that he may be looking at a future of blowjobs only, caused him to light up like a kid getting a balloon. Idiot.

      But, at least for now, the reproductive parts were not a problem. There is still something wrong with my tummy, it is not about the lady parts, for once. Doesn't seem to be about the bladder, colon or the spine either. So, I've no idea. But I cheered up significantly, even though my concentration is still null. 

      I've been trying to draw, got nowhere. G suggested I get a month-worth subscription to WoW, which I've all but abandoned lately. Not that it hasn't crossed my mind. To play just at random, maybe, start anew somewhere, maybe even as an Alliance... Not much left for me at the Horde. It was all a big joke in the end, really. I hate the Horde without Him. 

      So, I sign up, log in, start as this cool Creole-looking worgen on some shore - levelling rather speedily ... And there is a fashion show happening right down our street as part of the summer-starting celebration... During the doggy walk, I had plans to photograph some of the hot ladies in their cool outfits and just enjoy the evening.

      And all I could think of was getting home and getting to level 6. Stupid fucking Warcraft. It hooks you in an instant. I feel like such a spy. Seeing Anduin and hearing how bitchy the Horde have been lately ... Oh, the good old times. When we were still mortal enemies - mortal being the operative word. Good times. We were so naive. 

Mischief of a cynical period

Everyone knows one of my ovaries was knocked out of cadence a few years back, so now I mostly get my leakage 18 or 38 days in, give or take. It used to be either 18th, 28th or the 8th of next month, but never the same. Poor Clue has been doing its best to predict them. However, there is another fact that's difficult to explain, unless I attribute a lot more personality to my cunt than it already has.

     The timing scheme. At first, I thought it was just a coincidence or that I was unlucky. You know, getting it on the first day of summer vacation or on the day of the exams.. But then I also noticed, THOSE last a lot shorter.

    The latest episode was my Saturday wedding photo gig: the period was said to happen on Wednesday. It did not happen on Wednesday. It also didn't happen on Saturday morning, as it usually does (I wake up and sense the oncoming deluge) or, say, evening - no, it happened smack in the middle of the day, the middle of the job. And when I say deluge, I mean the mucus unplugged and my pants looked like I had just aborted triplets. I honestly believe my body deliberately accumulates three days worth of the discharge just to fuck with me. Because now, few days later, my normally 8-day lasting episodes, is all but done. Just some spotting left. 

     Game on, bitch. I carry SO many emergency supplies pockets (in every bag, almost every large pocket), that truly, all I need is two minutes away from civilised society, to get myself fixed up. The Clue needs not to apologise for failing prophecies yet again. This is a complicated affair. 

I just discovered the world is absolutely loaded with cheap bijou and among them, no-hole earrings. I just love those and, oddly enough, I can wear one and not suffer. So I bought about a ten and asked G if I can dress like a girl sometimes. I have this one shirt that's got flowers on it and shit, it's so cute. A flowery shirt, tights, faux leather jacket, no-hole earrings, shitty shoes - that's almost girly, isn't it? :))))

Uu, Villeneuve is supposedly making Randezvois with Rama!

 Tight!

Ups and downs, weekly

Still waiting for the pigment, still suspended in a sense of restlessness and forced vacation - and it's sunny, so it's even worse :))) Energised AND grounded :))

On the minus side, the RAM has still not yet arrived and I still can't edit any of the new stuff, although I've since figured out how to get the shots directly onto the phone, if I were so inclined as to post them unedited. Gotta give it to Bluetooth and all that jazz - that stuff's tight!

On the minus, I got the coveted Klevercase sleeve for my poor Kindle and it looks awful. I mean, it looks cute, but it is a 30 euro cardboard fold with a printed-on pattern and a magnet. I almost cried when I realised what I bought. Dunno, maybe I miss my old protective cover so much, I expected something similar. That old ugly thing was wonderful, great if you dropped it, great if it rained, great to carry it stuffed in the bag for ages. This is ... Like something I could do myself. Honestly. I feel so bad. I've wanted this for quite a while and they look so cool in the photos. I need to hide it from G, he'll kill me if he sees what I've wasted 30 bucks on :/

But oh, hey, I want to commemorate another idiotic tiny triumph: yesterday morning I smelled TWO things at the same time!! Since it is so insanely rare for me to be able to smell anything at all, during a doggy walk not one but TWO smells, at the SAME time, found me! (It was some other doggy's poop and a torn grass they were kicking). I've never had that before. Two defined, distinct, separate smells. Nuts :))

Florence weekend: The burial crests of St. Croce

 Walked all over, but lovely.

A trip to Krapina, in my absolute awe of Neanderthals and the tiny museum they managed to build there, literally from a handful of bones. Respect!

 I really need to expand on Aranna, my half-Denisovan character in the book. These humans were so awesome. There are some such nice books about them! (If sad as fuck.) 

So what to do when you unexpectedly get a bag of dino skeleton miniatures? :D

Making some cool new things ... or, better yet, learning how to make them ...

Some have literally melted. 

This bizarre monstrosity was a result of leftovers being poured into a mould gradually. It came out awesome :D