Friday, 28 August 2015

Dog is totally in heat and almost impossible to walk, because she is trying to sexually assault every other dog we meet, almost regardless of gender or neutering or no neutering... Was thinking about going uphill to my parents tomorrow, to ask their opinion on something that's been bugging me for the past few days. It helps to have two journalists as parents, because believe me, they've seen it all. But will have to go without the dog, which they won't be happy about. 

I'm about 85 pages in with the Goose. I'm stuck a little bit, because am not sure how to arrange the order of three events, not necessarily all of them obliviously related: do we meet Spiff & Bros first or do we meet the Sherridans first. Originally it was the Sherridans first, but now it feel more logical to fist meet magical creatures and as a result, meet their human counterparts, who will clearly later be more substantial in decision making... This gives Spiff's brothers an air of illusion, as if they've always been a metaphor. The third event is the Pumpkin prince incident. It belongs in the middle, but I don't want to stretch it - the battle first and then the trip later. I just want to get it over with and mention a story about it already exists. Because once this part is over, there comes the falling in love part. Where everyone falls in love (except me, who just gets to play a mother hen.) and the world comes to an end :D

Am reading 'Love in the Time of Cholera' to keep my mental tone of text rich and 'Silkworm', a crime novel, to keep the conversations feel modern and blunt. For a while the dream king spoke really aloofly and I thought it was funny when Paper tells him to slow down on the Right-Click-Synonyms, because she doesn't know if he's being condescending or not. :p And also the protagonist of the books turns me on, because he reminds me of G and there is something arousing about a man with a severe injury from a battle.  The General has many scars, as a soldier should. I find that deeply erotic.

Tuesday, 25 August 2015

B-day coffee

Haven't gotten around to posting the Birthday Coffee pickies yet. I've a lot going on in my life at the moment, some bad stuff, some great stuff, but mostly work stuff, namely writing (gaining on page 80.) The guys have just left Athens BC. Also, there is a lot of kissing to be done. :p

I think this was my favorite birthday weekend yet. No family fuss, just friends, food and prezzies. Tinka gave me a whole pie, which i did manage to murder in three days, but ye Gods what joy that was :D I got pretty much all of the things that my life enjoys in some form of another. Got a picture frame that needs filling. Hm...... :D


Watched Sinister, a hefty horror, which was actually really good. At times predictable and there were some jump scares, but really, it was scary as shit... I skipped over a few scenes, particularly the Super8 scenes, because, well, that may keep me up for a little while. If you have the stomach for it, I highly recommend it, though. 

Sunday, 23 August 2015


Getting slowly, very carefully, into "Gangsta", another anime heavy hitter in the likes of Cowboy Bebop and, to an extend, my darling Samurai Champloo..  This looks a lot darker than either, so I am taking very small dosages at the time. I noticed it because one of the characters is white-haired, which is of course again a total turn-on for me, and the other one looks like Mugen might look when he grows up. They are both awfully dark, fucked up, acting jovial and cute, but so deep in death and pain it's only a matter of time everyone in the show ends up dead. I really hope not. I really hate it when that happens. 

The deaf junky, the half-blind man-whore, a kind kid and the depressed hooker.

Saturday, 22 August 2015

I'm writing (about 60, 70 pages in) Marowit's lessons to Kay that involve choosing what to forge, choosing who to mingle with, teaching her how to make a decision and to stand behind it by introducing her to several cool people that she can relate to. They talk about her bodyguards and he says 'You never talk to them' and she says 'They're dicks' and then he takes her though Hangele's whole life and his death so that she would learn how to see pass the bullshit into the story. They talk about great things as good friends and you can see Kay grow as an individual. They almost get to weaving her a moral fiber, but are distracted by the battle. Problem is, all of these conversations once belonged to Morpheus, they were there to show her predicament. Kay's final decision is who gets to live and inherit the throne and which one of the two goes away for ever. The book begins with that moment of deciding and then dives into the relationship of Kay and Marowt and what a great pair they made when creating the pagans. I will have to come full circle when Morpheus returns some fifty pages on, to throw Kay off her conviction. It used to be whom she is loyal to, now it will slowly become whom she trusts to finish her education for better or for worse. 

I'm in a strange place. It shows in the text. I had a really odd moment yesterday and I still don't know whether I did the right thing or made a terrible mistake. My head was so full yesterday I had trouble falling asleep, although I was dead tired from working in the vineyard. Still, no thought would form and no single emotion took over. I was bursting at the seams, but it felt so surreal.

Tuesday, 18 August 2015

"Another period"

Fell completely into this TV show which is, frankly, so incredibly gruesome, offensive, ludicrous and funny, I can't do anything else but watch. the acting and characters are so over the top, the costumes and makeup (and wigs, gods, the wigs) are so stupid, the plots so wrong and the irony so sharp, it's genius. You have to have a certain sense of humor to be able to stomach it, because if you are the social-issues-cliche-sensitive type, this could give you a seizure. I think Christina Hendricks is my favorite bit to watch, although the two sisters - actually, all three sisters - are awesome.

Went to the doctors after 8 years of ignoring them, to find a new one (mine's retired since) and to find out why I've been dizzy and having a tummy ache these past few months. That was three hours of my life I'm never getting back, ghastly hours. Sitting in over-crowded waiting room only to be met with a tired, aloof physician is a specific kind of Hell. 
          And of course there is no way you can ever ask them to help you because you're not feeling well, gods, fuck, that would be just insane. She checked my pressure and my oxygen, checked some basic boxes regarding blood and told me i'm fine. Nothing wrong. I shouldn't be feeling bad so I'm probably not. 
           I asked if these tests would show at all if I had some serious underlying condition, like cancer? Well, no, but it wasn't likely, so maybe I should just consider doing some cardio, and goodbye. 

Friday, 14 August 2015

Holy crap, I think I just wrote an amazing fucking passage. At least I think I did. In my opinion it's an amazing, really dark and terrible and scary passage about having your will broken, but then again I am the author and really have no way of knowing if it's actually any good. It feels intense. And sincere. I haven't eaten lunch in two days, I can't stop writing.

Wednesday, 12 August 2015

It still doesn't quite have it, but it's getting better.

Well, okay. Turns out the break did me well. I'm editing  the text like crazy. I still need to polish the tunes of relationships, it is still a bit precious all over the place, I will have to tame it just a little further (I have, for example, thrown out every single adjective from the scenes that take place in Marowit's mind), but I can't wait to come back from the doggie walk and continue.

Tuesday, 11 August 2015

.. And now I think I'll go and start writing Goose after half a year of pause.

Julie Harris photies

I can't stop looking at this lady's photos... There is just something sow raw and honest and intimate in her shots, most of her shots, that strikes just the right kind of note with me at this point ... maybe because not many people like it when these are the photos I make. But mostly because I should really listen to myself more and not the clients. 

Did I mention that in my continuous loser streak, I got paid 75 bucks for a photo and after all the transfers were made, the bank account was left with 17 euros of it? I made 17 dollars for an internationally successful photo. Go me. 

Anyroad. Here's the link to her site. Like I said, I can't get enough of it these days..

Sunday, 9 August 2015

Tim Curry a long time ago..

Very fond of Ridley Scott's Legend and of course there was a lot of touching myself going on regarding the Darkness, because that's just the sort of a big bad wolf that I get turned on by, but I think my favorite performance by Curry, in all his 222 actor credits, is his very first movie role in Rocky Horror Picture Show... Something that Ridley Scott - who cats him immediately afterwards - calls really brave, but mostly people, not just fans, call really unique. The part that gets to me the most is that although later generations will maybe recognize Curry as some B flick sadistic villain to be quickly disposed of (Charlie's Angels and so on), this is such an odd, sad little person: he never married, has no children, in his early interviews he reminds me so much of Freddie Mercury - this really shy, too talented, oddly really handsome, used-to-his-marrow young guy... There's a line in an backstage interview of the Rocky Horror stage performance, in which he says that after the two or something years of performing, wearing a pound and a half of make-up every night, once you take it off, some of it stays in the creases every time. I'm thinking they really used the actors up back in the day. I know it's art, but I suppose the one reason i will never be great at it is because I don't think it's worth the suffering. 

Stargazer mode 2015

Drove my dumpy little car (very slowly, because the breaks don't really work and I really never want to kill some idiot animal like a bunny or a hedgehog that just right then decides it's a good time to cross traffic) to General's sister's place and joined her family on their annual astronomy night event thingie. I love those, because my old professor, same one as who wrote the intro to Gorgi, has this long and really cool lecture on some subject - this time it was life in space - problems that astronauts face and how some things are happy to be bothered and some thing just won't grow... Later we watched some videos and when the night got dark enough, she pointed out constellations and I made an effort to remember a few additional ones. She tells them in a story sense, so they're more easily placed and related. The telescope show wasn't as good this year - most showed Saturn and some clusters. I remember seeing an awesome sight of the Cigni twins, the swans, (triplets, as it turns out) and a cluster that was really impressive, don't remember which. But I love this event and I always look forward to it. If I was any little bit more of an aficionado, I'd invest in a telescope. Alas, I live in a really luminescence polluted place, so driving to adequate locations would be sticky with my car. Funny thing, though, as I drove back at midnight, alone and going even slower, a car in a distance never really gained on me. So I am not the only super slow driver out there. 

Saturday, 8 August 2015

Mary Ellen Mark - powerty is photogenic as fuck

Only just found her official web page ... I knew of her work for a long while, but didn't find her page beforehand.. I think her concepts are really cool, although of course for this time, terribly passe. And I can't imagine going to a mental asylum to photograph people at their most vulnerable. I would find that to be deeply unethical. Same as it would be to shoot bums and junkies - deeply unoriginal. She rocked that scene, though. And these are some good artickles, for future reading in case anyone gets turned on by cool street photies :D



Notice, and this is really funny (in a serious way), that she bounces the point of the photo from the golden section right to far left and at that exact moment the story kicks in. Awesome eye, really.

Wednesday, 5 August 2015

Shot Anja and Robi today for two different portraits - her in a surreal, kind of a pin-up-bride mood and him basic test shot. Got Lumen shots out of both of them, too :)) The energetic girl and the disillusioned poet. :)

... and their Lumens...