Saturday, 28 June 2014

Only Lovers Left Alive. Whining level: pro.

After a while, whatdiyaknow, Hiddleston made a good movie again. Not that playing a depressed nocturnal creature who eats romantic poets is all that difficult to play, unkempt hair and all, but considering there are only about 5 people in this movie and he's up again Tilda Swinton, who's a pulsar star in her own right (by that I mean a radiant alien, not a famous A-lister), and Mia Wasikovska, perfect for the role of a retarded Parson Russel puppy with rabies, I admit his skanky body and effeminate face alone wouldn't cut it.
But kudos in this flick mainly to the director. I loved Detroit, loved the theater and the club and the driving around at night. Not so much Tangiers, because it looks more like it was filmed in Chefchaouen (been to both extensively, is why I'm asking), but  the fact both main characters are virtually the same person, split in two, (even if she is a lot, lot older than him) they look almost the same, only the exact opposite. 'Tis also how they act, talk and often think.This offers for the only dynamic in the movie. This and dropping names - an American take on hipster-ism.

This take on vampires is spot on, me thinks. Vampires - in this case lanky ghosts with long necks and who never comb their hair - are the worst whiners ever. It's all they ever do. Whine, whine, whine. They only ever talk about how much they hate people, but they live in the middle of cities ( not in remote caves on mountains or lost island, drinking blood of sharks or mountain lions.)  No. In cities, complaining about every single part of it, every day, all the time. They hate their own immortality, because everyone knows you can only be passionate in fear of death and they've lost that, so all they ever do is think about it. they are either overly dramatic and sensitive or witless and decadent. Life for them moves very slowly, so they try to fill it with details, but they only ever do that piggybacking human discoveries and creations. They cannot create their own, they cannot invent, they cannot compare. They are dead. Which sucks. It's all they know. In every aspect of their correlation to humans.

Fact is, you can't have too much of any good thing. You can't. The best tantric sex with a 35 minute orgasm becomes a nuisance after a while and the next time you wake up and think: it's a new day! Time for the next two hour tantric sex with 35 minute orgasm!.. you'll instead be thinking - get the fuck away from me and the next time I hear the word tantric I'll burn the street down. 
       The best dish of your favorite food, eaten over and over again in a row becomes a punishment, a gruesome irony. Which is what life is to vampires. A gruesome irony. They are simultaneously in love with the human condition and disgusted by it. Envious and worse than us. Like elves, which i also fucking hate, they wouldn't know the fundamental flaws which make us singular works of art in the eyes of creation are supposed to mean to us, if they choked on it.

You don't ever really need to kill a vampire, you know. They got that part well covered.

... Gave me a good inspiration for the dialogue between the dying Morpheus and Kay in a cafe I've been working on. Paraphrasing:
        ... "I don't want to die."
        "It's the penalty for the sin you've committed."
        "Which would be what?!"
        "You woke up one day and decided you no longer wanna live."

Two unexpectedly pleasant surprises today – first the General managed to fuck me into unconsciousness again (this isn't a metaphor, he actually works me up to such an absurd orgasm I go into a hysterical seizure, screaming, kicking, crying crocodile tears, my spinal fluid boiling and every nerve trembling for hours and then I pass out for an hour or so, only to awake stoned and kind of stupid :D ) and the second was his family’s picnic. 
Normally I would be terribly against going into a family affair of fifty plus individuals, considering my family only consists of about five people and most of us are crossed at another vast majority of the time… But this was unexpectedly wonderful. General’s parents belong to a clan on 20 or so still living cousins, descending from 8 brothers and sisters, and they meet every year to catch up (so funerals wouldn’t be the only occasion they do.) I attended these before, but I was always too shy to talk to people, so I just sat miserably thorough the afternoon and felt bad when they wouldn’t allow me to photograph them. But now I talked to most and I listened to some really cool ‘war’ stories – like the time the two massively built brothers thought it would be a good idea to wrestle a circus bear or when we got a tour though the trophy room from one of their hunting trips to Africa. (Those little gazelles (gnus) aren’t half as little as they seem on TV and that makes you wonder how big those little lionesses actually are … O.o )
Also, there was FEWD. Like, fucking loads of fewd. These people come from a farm – one thing they know how to do better than most humans is bake. I ate, again, so much, I nigh burst. I started keeping it down to veggies and BBQ meat, but then the sweets came on… With Ramadan coming up, I’ve decided to fast respectfully on one of my favourites, so I chose sugar – thirty days of no sugar in my fewd. Funny, even as I’m going into it, I am starting to find things too sweet. That’s uncanny; a while ago I wouldn’t imagine there is such a thing. Someone even suggested I give up my truly greatest passion – my camera – but seeming as I only just truly picked it up, that would be counterintuitive. Some day, though. It needs to become an obsession again. Then I’ll strain.  

Friday, 27 June 2014

5. Festival Romanica Antiqua, Laško

Thursday, 26 June 2014


Sanela dragged me out of the prolonged winter slumber to shoot her as a maiko, and a cute boy jumped in, reminding me it's all too well due time for me to switch from models to actors... Dunno, for some reason I kept doing him evil, although he really is quite nice..
Actors, then? Should I be making a list?


Wednesday, 25 June 2014


If we count the day from yesterday 4pm till today (about that time, but ongoing), it was a perfect day. Our third anniversary; no kitten this time, but perfect nonetheless. At four yesterday I got a new travel purse and a cake baking dish. Then I went to the movies to watch HTTYD2, before which I had coffee, ate a popcake and an apple/nuts moving cake. On my own, cause I was in bad mood. Then walked home in the rain, which I like. Had good dreams. Creepy and kinda gruesome, but quite fun. (Yes, I'm dream deranged.)
This morning my orders were to just be prepared at 7, which I kind of slept in from my usual 5:25, on account as it was raining. The dog had to do without the walk. General made a point of not allowing me to talk about the morning. At first I thought he might need me for a job (I forgot it was our anniversary, because I suck at dates - I just assumed it was on midsummer, which is my favorite time of the year), but then started to suspect he has plans for the occasion. My imagination went into a viral turmoil. Was it going to be a coffee/popcake date at MiškoKnjižko? No, we're walking towards the car. Are we driving? Where are we driving? He's not going to kill me by throwing me off some bridge, is he? (ye, it's just my mind being a mad hatter, I do that sometimes to myself) No, he's taking me on a road trip. Are we going to see a castle? Which one? Where are we going? Neup, we're just taking the umbrellas out. Wait, are we going to the train station? Where the fuck are we going? Is he going to show me a real estate he purchased for our future house? Neup, wrong direction. Ooooooh, we're going to the Capitaaaaal!... Shit, is he taking me to see the Koudelka show?? For realsies?! O.o

So yes. It actually wasn't a spur of the moment, because he's seen the email in which my brother suggested the show and I've mentioned it half a dozen times. He read all the articles, made sure the gallery is open and off we went. Only three trains rode today (national holiday or something), but we still had plenty of time to sample some muffins and later ate some mignons at Zvezda (Star), my favorite, super posh, snobbish and expensive, but fuck it, just too yummy cafe. And then we rode the train home. had lunch, went to bed to pass out. I woke up at 6pm and now, after doing pretty much nothing but doodling around with the photos, the day is slowly coming to an end. It really was perfect. I have no idea what I would add if I planned it. There as so much kissing and so many books and train stations and walking and rain, it just couldn't be any better.