Monday, 28 December 2015

Been a while since I took pleasure in revenge, but I ganked the Bedid Jesus out of an ally today... He killed my low-level rogue while I was minding my own business, questing, and that was it for my sense of patience. I went to get my strongest DPS, my huntress Kestrel, and just muuuuuurdered that bitch five or six times, until he got the message. He logged out, because he couldn't play any longer, or went to get his own champion, but I was bored by then and offed to wash the dishes. Good Gods that felt calm and rich inside. To make matters worse, I used a multishot, killing everything within range, regardless of who or what they were. That revenge wasn't served cold, it was served over and over, sizzling.


Saturday, 26 December 2015

Experimenting in faux colloidals ... Not just there yet, but getting the hang of it gradually :)

Friday, 25 December 2015

An oddly lovely X-mas diners have passed - first on the proper date, because General's parents are religious, and second, day later, by my family, who is mostly in it for the food, but also because from time to time it turns out nice. And I always love it when one half of the family gets books for prezzies and the other side is giving them the 'my god, what awful gifts, I feel so sorry for them'... looks and this side is: omg, best gift ever! :D
      I know I shouldn't argue with children, because they are supposed to be all fucking retarded, but I had a dialogue with one of the teen sons of my bro's: (Upon seeing a large biography of out country's first president) "Why would anybody want to read a book that size?"
"You should read, biographies," said I, "Some people had very interesting lives."
"Isn't it better YOU have an interesting life?"
"That's a terrible excuse not to read."

They get my blood up, people who shit on books, same as people who shit on Star wars. :))))))) I know, I know, I shouldn't argue with kids, they're *supposed* to be fucking idiots. 

Sunday, 20 December 2015

Drawing prezzies for my besties :)

Saturday, 19 December 2015

Tinka dragged me to a tiny concert yestereve and it was actually quite fun... So loud it was nauseating and when the fog machine came on the photos were useless, but other than that, it's been a while since I shot a concert (her hubby performed with his band) and I loved the exercise. We mused on the next generation of photies, which are still polite and eager and they love their job. As they get older, it seems they give up on having anything nice to say about their jobs and greet another colleague sooner with disdain than friendliness. 

Also the band played Enter Sandman and there is no other song in creation that gets you with the first few seconds of intro as this one.

Thursday, 17 December 2015

STAR WARS 7.0 review (Spoilers ahead, beware)

Some movies pull (the weight of) their lineage really well. Episode VII had not one or two prequels to sit on but SIX and though some of them were awesome and others … slightly less awesome, each of the previous Star Wars had tons of lore, tons of subplot and a lot of classic moments, fan favorites… And when you’re making Episode SEVEN, you either stand entirely on that foundation or you detach yourself completely from the formula. It’s rare to see a movie with a perfect combination of both. 

I tried reading as little as possible about it, watched no trailers or interviews unless they were Force-fed to me (Force, get it?.... mnjah :D ), dived in no forums discussing why Kylo Ren’s lightsabre is as it is … (Ye, I got it, he’s conflicted) And I tried to really lower my expectation, because I ruined The Martian with very high ones, hearing really good reviews. But still I loved it. I really didn’t want it to end. I kept thinking – I know someone’s going to die, I know it’s been two hours, but don’t end, don’t end, don’t end… Actually counting the scenes from the only trailer I did see, thinking if we’ve gotten to that part already or not? Because if there’s one thing that really fucks up my whole day, is an excellent movie ending and I know it’s gonna be another fucking year before the second instalment gets me another fix.

But enough about me. It’s a great movie. If you have the imagination to comprehend it, it’s amazing. Just the scope of it  - all those years past, all those big ships in the sand, the legends that make too little difference… I have to see it at least three more times. Luckily, I have nerdy friends. Let’s talk the retro good bits: you had to have X-wing fights and you had to have lightsabre fights and Jedi Mind Trick whammy moments and Millennium Falcon and a sinister puppet master (and he’s big! Well done! And hello again, Andy Serkis) and a crazed Storm Trooper commander… Who plays that dick? Oh, Domhnall Gleeson, right. Of course. And greedy smugglers and chatty droids and Death Stars and unlikely friendships and glass submarine screens and bunkers with Resistance in them and canteens and so on and so forth… Double check on all of those. Down to the opening credits. Then there were some novelty good bits: some people actually take off their masks. A lot of them go Full Dredd and you still wonder who was it that played them so well (yes, I’m looking at you, Gwendoline Christie, you’re a hot cookie), but the two that do get to go full facial, are the lead protagonist, Finn and the lead antagonist, Ren. Finn is the first Storm Trooper we meet as a person, otherwise they’re just numbers in weird costume statement. But he’s cool. And I really like that they managed to show love between two characters that isn’t the traditional, “let’s make babies cause I like your boobies” kind of love. His relationship with the heroine is believable and heart-warming. You can see they truly like one another, but there really is no need for romance. Especially because you get to see an old romance, an old flame, Han and Leia, and you get to learn how badly that turned out, despite their great love for one another. Sometimes you mean well, but you still spawn Hitler. With a hilarious temper control problem.

My favorite scene in the movie is when Rey is being kept in the torture chair and she kind of tries to get the courage to snarl back at her torturer by taunting him about the mask and he just takes it off, no big deal. Her expression is the best one in the film, I thought. It’s not a gruesome disfigured monster at all (yet), it’s just a boy! That throws her a little. Gives her a bit of hope, but then immediately makes her disgust even deeper, because she sees through the costume – he’s just a sick brat. Talented, to be sure, and powerful, but just a messed up little boy. I knew Adam Driver will be playing Ben/Ren, so I knew he was going to be good looking, but I was surprised they made him so… puny? Layered, yes, and torn, yup, but perhaps Darth Maul spoiled me. I know Darths are just puppets, doing the Emperor’s dirty work. Still, he was awfully, willingly played. Or maybe I’m just not used to the Sith being so many dimensional. I also loved the scene in which he’s aloofly trying to seduce Rey to his awesomeness and she kicks his ass. Weakly played, boy, really :D You may have a fancy saber, but you’re a little bit on the Jon Snow variety when it comes to the real world. 

Another really good character, one I couldn’t get enough of – Dameron, the pilot. Loved him. I’d totally undress that one, especially with planets blowing up all over the place and you can never tell who’s next. 

I liked that they killed Solo the way they did... From the get-go. I thought if they're going to bring back an ancient character, having him fuel the emotional turmoil of the next generation would be the perfect way to see him off. You get to see how messed up his kid really is, or wants to be, burning bridges while standing on them, you get to see how adventurers die - for something they believe in - and you get to see that he had friends till the end - new friends who will seek to avenge him and set things right, things that he couldn't. I thought it was the least surprising outcome. Who else who connected the stories so well would die instead or how else would the new generation solve their own problems if he persisted?
Now for the few bad things, things that bothered me. Or just the one thing. The acting is a lot better here and so is camera work, and the dialogue also, to some extent, but there is a lot of music-acting and I don’t like that. A lot of very long moments where people are sort of just staring and shaking and the music is translating what they’re supposed to be going through. Someone said Stephen Spielberg owes half his Oscars to John Williams – I got that exact vibe here. Fine, have the battles super noisy, but there really is no need for a screaming booming orchestra when someone dies. We get it. It’s awful. We’ll miss him. 

So now we’re hooked … again … on a number of cool new people. From the watered down version of Keira Knightley, who does her job perfectly and is always flawlessly groomed, shaved and all, to a very, very old Luke Skywalker. And truthfully, nobody can remember any movie that Luke or Leia respectively did between then and now. The time table IS a tad confusing, because you have to bend your mind around the fact that THEIR mother was whom we saw recently and they are the ones who fell in love when I was born in 1977, and this is the continuance of THAT story … Bendy, yes. Not to mention I haven’t watched any of the cartoons. I have no idea if some of the answers are there. Lore galore, I said it. Am really curious on whose kid the girl is, though, Han and Leia’s, an obvious choice, or is she really Luke’s? True, a Jedi shouldn’t have kids, but I’m feeling they’re going to pair the big reveal of Episode V to VIII by saying: Ren… she is your second cousin twice removed!... and abandoned, as all the kids seem to be in these parts … Am glad they didn’t kill him off like they did Maul in the first round. I’ll enjoy watching them meet again, and catch whatever the other one is containing, light and dark. No shocks there. You could make those two more polar opposite if you made them in mirror image and with crayons. 

There wasn't much of a story yet, nothing pass the scroll intro - everyone is looking for Luke, the last Jedi, hoping that will somehow fix everything. Rinse and repeat cycle, really. New hope, new threat... Balance, unbalance, balance again. Fine by me. 

Sunday, 13 December 2015

Something very "Koga" about this, but 'tis winter :)

Saturday, 12 December 2015

By some freak odd, I sat down to doodle with the text and suddenly the entirety (with a small hiccup when G interrupted me to log into WoW) became impossibly clear and simple - regarding the flow of narrative. Everything fell completely into place. I've been working on this novel for two years  and I haven't been able to set the midriff chapter. I feel more than ever that I should wait just a little bit longer with it, just to be able to make a massive, epic almost, but above all IMMERSIVE verse, captivating and inspiring. I am not there just yet. But I've skipped ten steps in ten minutes. One might call that a 'whoa, fuck?!' moment. If the day wasn't nice already :)

... waiting to see what Kylo Ren will do. Twice in my life have the star wars completely shifted my existence. We'll see what happens in a week's time.I've been avoiding trailers and spots and interviews, though there are some good portraits on an adjacent sites :)

Wednesday, 9 December 2015

Thing is, when you go to school, when you learn stuff, your horizons really broaden. You get to argue, agree or just question so many lessons. You get to take a stand for something or against somethings and you grow as an individual, you get more substantial as an individuum, 'him/her who is set apart'. And as I learn more and more, I get to decide what kind of a person I want to be. This will never be finished. I learn too much every day. Sometimes it's not so easy to know what ground you are on even. I am an absolute advocate of all life without exception, but - I love a hunter. And respect his skill. I also appreciate war and warriors, but disdain violence and think that when old men talk money, young men get unleashed and back to their barbaric modes, which is something I hope we'll get over any time soon. I think humans are fucking morons when it comes to violence, so far removed from nobleness someone calling themselves a good warlord is a joke. I don't hate my country, but I am a patriot of the planet, not a nation. I believe in no God or whatever shiny, I just think they're a decent face on slippery morals. I completely trust in Free will, but also know that if you're gonna enjoy someone's hospitality, you'll be playing by their rules. Live in a city? Then pay the fucking taxes. The one thing I do not believe in is Equality - you cannot compare people who have spent their lives secretly, quietly helping, building back broken lives of children and families torn apart by petty conflict - to meth addicts who allow their boyfriends to rape to death their two month old babies... Human kind is an extremely brutal force of nature. If I had to chose a side, I'd choose the side of Nature. Put me in winter, put me up against wolves. I'll be okay. Or I'll return to the elements. I believe in the balance. We make up problems that do not exist, so that we charge for remedies that the world doesn't need, which cultivate reactions that need more remedy... We are such uncanny slaves to gain, while we pretend to be evolved. It is a might difficult to forgive actions of people, or their ignorance... the more I learn, the more I realize it is hopeless. But also that nobody is watching me. And while no-one is watching, you can do just about any good deed at all.
Can't explain what it is, not smart enough, but it's actually really cool... I mean really warm :D

Tuesday, 8 December 2015

Worst time of the day is winter three o'clock-in-the-afternoon twilight... I get soooo tired. Can't believe the day is already over. Though soon the night will be here, it will get colder and lights will come on and it will be magical again. But the fourty minutes of winter gray in a dirty, tired city is the worst...

...I'm day-dreaming about cca ten hours ago, when I was sleeping, probably snorring, but certainly drooling in a hot bed, in the heavy dark, and in a half dazed state noticed the General was petting my face... His large hand pushed the tresses off my forehead almost one by one hair, brushing against the brow and the closed lids as gently as a butterfly. When I opened my eyes, he was looking at me and smiling; I could mostly just see the teeth :D After I wake up, he stops, grabs and squeezes me and shakes me or bites me, or cries: for fuck's sakes how much I love you!..  and forces us both back to sleep. In summer, going back to sleep at almost five is pointless, but in winter, what are y'gonna do... 
When I was very young and absurdly anti-social, I remember there was nothing worse for me than when someone wanted to go into a shady looking cafe and have a drink. (They all looked shady to me and none was really.) That, to me, was such a no-no, I think I was way pass twenty when I finally found what the whole point of going out for a drink is and I was about 23 or 24 when I once went out clubbing. Yes, you read that right. Once. I didn't particularly like it. People kept spilling drinks and it was too loud to talk about anything. Eventually everyone got drunk. I simply never understood what the point was. I could never understand what the fun is supposed to be when you're not photographing or having good talks. To this day my clitoris is in my camera. If it can't be photographed, it's not my cup of tea. 

I was just thinking about that as I was walking down a loooong street in the Capitol, looking for a place that doesn't serve 3€ coffee (coffee is supposed to be 1.5€), carring my bag of, oh, about 40 pounds, having just shot in a studio for the past three and a half hours... I needed an hour of *me* time to get my baring, before the next task. The next task in a lecture at five p.m., lasting to nine. I've been up since before sunrise, so one coffee and one hour sit-down is well in order.
        We drove in a van, not really meant for humans transport, full of product, constructed of small, sharp pipes. I am awfully unhappy regarding pipes in traffic. There are too many movies where sharp pipes become projectiles and people get plenty impaled. But, the drive was fine, we were only and hour and a half late. We found the studio, which was fine, too. I was worried. My last experience with a studio was a fucking sham. I had no idea what to expect, nor did I worry too much, as it was not on my coin. Thing is, studios can be shitty. They can charge you for the room, but refuse to warn you that it doesn't include the lights, or they include the lights, but you have to hire the guy to help you handle them... I've been in a studio where we paid decent money for two hours and then cables were nowhere to be found, so we didn't complete the shoot in time and had to add another hour to the bill and nobody wanted to do that. But here, the guy was okay. His gear was mighty and he kept asking if he can add stuff, move stuff, construct stuff and I was like, nah, fuck it, I'll just photoshop the shit out of it. Most of the products were basic industrial pics, but one was bitchy, a large, door-like construct, covered in thick dark glass... Which in other words can be called a mirror. It reflected EVERYTHING. I had to climb up a gallery and shoot it with a telelens to avoid room detail. Indeed I danced, crawled, laid down, knelt, climbed ladders and tiptoed plenty :D Can't recall the last time I had so much fun during such a serious shoot. I worried we'll get charged way above the pre-agreed price, but we didn't at all. And one of the boys who helped with the product construction was mesmerized by the magic of a photo-studio, the mighty lights, umbrellas, pulleys, levers, backgrounds, any number of tiny gadgets. I explained to him that if he thinks this is fun, he should come in on a pin-up session :)) I know now a good studio is a ridiculous investment, but also that I've done fine without it and when I'll get enough reasons, I'll just hire the place for a day and get it out of my system. 

Once it was done, I dragged my tired, sorry ass, bag on my back like a turtle shell, across the city, chatting on the phone with dad and mum, to whom I reported, (the people I always call when I am in between moods, as I can never predict what mood they'll put me in once the talk is finished...) in search of a place where I could sit down for a coffee and write all about it :) The General bought me bagels and chocolate and an energy drink, but forbade me to spend any lunch money on cake and coffee... So we won't tell him I really deserved that cake and coffee. I have about an hour left before the lecture starts. I'm too tired to switch the memory cards in the camera and go out and shoot bits of the city. My head hurts a bit, even though I made sure I hydrated plenty. I'm watching a band of tourists in almost identical travel cases try to fit into a pub called BBQ Kings. An Annie Liebowitz-look alike lady came to the street half of the cafe and unrolled first her small dog's carpet and then her cushy blanket. Smokers, am I right? And someone close by is talking in vehement Italian. The day has been quite lovely, actually. Half done, half to go :)

Monday, 7 December 2015

Another half melancholy half lovey line from the text I'm working on: "Sometimes I miss my husband so badly, I cannot solve a single problem without him."

Saturday, 5 December 2015

A pickie of Ema, thoughtful, across from me and my coffee :) I'll make some more, but first, a well deserved Saturday nap..


In Ljubljana, foggy night, sunny day