Full effing moon :/

Long freaking day :/ Drove dad around for most of it, he had to attend a funeral a few hours away, and by the end of the drive - in an unfamiliar car I've never driven before, so I was nervous - we were both tired and cranky, as one gets. Mum is being a pain, which sucks the cheer out of most situations, even funerals. And of course, dad is pressuring me to come help at the estate again, yet again, another weekend, because all weekends are supposed to go to lending hands to inlaws, perish the thought you want to spend it by yourself. Mowing again, spraying again, fixing more lines ... All shit that urgently needs to be done, if only it was my fucking problem. Not my fucking hobbies. I got my own shit going on. I also don't want to be constantly told of all the stuff I'm yet to complete. Ye, they're to old to handle the vineyard, I get it. I don't want it. "What will become of the vineyard after I'm gone? Who will maintain it?"
       Fuck me. I don't fucking care. I want to buy and build my own home, not constantly inherit the shit you kept dragging in and eventually couldn't handle. Not my fucking problem.
       G is away for the weekend, that's why I feel so alone. If mum was okay, then maybe, sure. But I don't want to deal with my parents alone. They are more vicious then serpents when they're like this. G's parents are having some health-related issues as well, they may need some transport, but that's a not a problem at all, they are nice people. They don't ask unless they have no other option and they don't load three more tasks on you once you arrive to help. "While you're at it ..."
       On top of it all, one of my brothers declares, out of the blue, there's some work to be done with one of his projects, and he needs help urgently. Not requests. Declares. He wrote to sis as well and some people I know. Won't say I don't avoid him generally, because I do not enjoy his company and you never know what task he will load onto you, or how you will get home. I've learned a long time ago not to get suckered into one of his projects, no matter how insulted that makes him, and so it seems did all the other people. Not saying I don't feel bad, I feel like crying at the end of today, but I also feel drained. Explaining I am being stretched three different ways and to please not count on me, because I have no idea how my weekend will go and already have some plans for Saturday, he replied I should be careful not to lose a brother since I'm running around so much.
      Fucking hell.
      Do I have a stamp on my forehead that says 'easily emotionally blackmailed into doing menial labor whenever anyone demands it'? My family is notoriously difficult when it comes to someone saying no to them, especially if they really need help, but refuse to hire someone you actually have to pay. They make for the whole situation really uncomfortable. I'm not saying it wouldn't be possible for me to squeeze another favor to another family member in another busy weekend. Of course, it could be. And of course, by the end of the day, I'd get shit some way or another, because everyone would be tired and cranky. I know all that. I'm sure I would feel terrible if I really needed help with something urgently and none of the twenty people I know would choose to help. I'd also probably wonder a little why that is.
      Disown me for declining your request, why don't you?
      Fucking full moons :/

Four golds and a bronze walk into a bar ... and also snail :D

Unexpectedly amazing shimmer paints - I didn't think they would turn out that rich and thick, but, there you have it. Only thing you mustn't do is sneeze, because these buggers get away from you so fast your cat is a glitter queen before you can say 'bling'.

 

What do you think? Shop-like enough?

https://slowreader11.blogspot.com/

Tree poem. What, it was a nice day for writing tree poems :D

What are these shadow-roosting giants, praying for the rain?
Their thousands green blind eyes that ever only see the sky.
What myriad of beasts of every size included
have named them paradise?
My resting sto(o)p is a mighty nest indeed. 

Lovely long walk

There's a traditional walk, about 35 km, around the capital, commemorating the location of a barbed fence put there during the WWII - that's what it's called - 'Walking alongside the wire'. I've heard about it every year, but I as never quite in the mood to go, even though people from all around come and there's usually around 35.000 participants, albeit not all walk the full circle. There are 8 (9) checkpoints, so young kids from schools, which are about half of the participants, only do four and probably the shorter distances. Then there's running and other variations. But walking is the main event.

        The neighbor's dad has been said to walk it a few times by now, so I asked if I can tag along and he reminded me this may require some form of fitness. Oh, mister. You've not seen me walk. Okay, so I am not the youngest and I am not the lightest, but even though I feel it in the end, and a day later, the neighbor (who didn't notice the walk was long in the slightest, but she's a young slim thing) and I finished two hours before her dad, having a great time. I overpacked, because there was plenty of road-side activity and it would be totally unnecessary to carry water, since they kept serving root beer, lemonade, coffee, tea and water and the neighbour's dad brought a ton of protein bars and sandwiches, which I declined, explaining I usually go everywhere with enough flapjacks to last me a nuclear winter (two.) The weather was ideal and the path is unusually flawless - the vast majority of it is packed mud or gravel, super comfortable to walk on, under thick old trees providing delicious shade. There's a small hill in the middle and last stretch is 6 km on asphalt pavement, which is the least of my favorite terrains. Clearly not just mine, as most people opted on walking an abandoned rail-o-track or roadside. You could tell who was approaching the last checkpoint (you can start at any checkpoint, doesn't matter, just as long as you come full circle.) by the way they walked. Neighbour's dad is the type to approach famous people, so he kept taking selfies, but I only met one acquaintance and mostly stared at people's day packs and shoes. Lots of dogs, too! we were told it's not recommended for dogs, but there were hundreds! I missed the dumb fuck of my mutt every time I saw a beagle. Neighbour missed hers every time she saw a dachshund. 

        In the end you get a bronze medal (you get silver after having walked the circle five occasions), and we had hamburgers and coffee and later I had green ice-cream and a pop-tart, dragging myself another small walk with MyMaja, reporting on all of the events. 

         People kept asking how come the General didn't walk along and I replied every time: I fail to bullshit him into EVERY nonsense I decide to do :D

(not my photos...)

Autumn promos from the top of me head

You're telling me I can't be a great author unless I'm a miserable, drunkard whoremongering near-suicide? But I am an amazingly happy human and very lucky, knock on head, and I think myself a great writer.

... If I fucking finished the book. 

"Winter" and "Spring" sets ... (kinda. They're made for Insta, so the framing is lame..)