SOooo much money was promised ...

... but you mean to say that NURSES, POST-OFFICE workers, POLICE and FIRE DEPT. and food providers WON'T be getting 60% smaller bills to pay for March and a bonus raise for the time spent on the front line after all? Only politicians? I'm so shocked!

"Yoo can't make us stay inside, this is 'Muhrika!"

Am I cruel for knowing - on April 12th, that American declaration of crisis apex is going to bite them in the ass? 

Or is it just that the reason why I can't watch the news is because news like these make my blood boil?

I am the sort of a person who would register a PornHub account just so that I could critique the quality of the videos posted. 

World's most famous politician gives the finger to World Health Organization

It really makes me wonder what WHO actually does, to be honest. I know they pretend to be the world's number one health provider to those who need stuff, except of course they don't really have all that many supplies for those who can't afford them, and they are supposed to be the leading authority on giving answers. Which they do or do not provide. Telling people masks and gloves don't work was a genius idea in my opinion. Even after it was evident non-symptomatic carriers are spreading the virus. 

So, just to be clear ... They want more money and politicians have started to tell them to go fuck themselves. In the meanwhile, they

- don't have authority to declare and then exercise a state of a pandemic, not only on a planetary level, not on the continent level, not on country level - in the end, each city region can make their own decisions as best as their majors think

- the don't have supplies, makeshift hospitals, factories for making necessary equipment, even printers for making shit - when in need, every country and region has to make their own 

- they are led by a Marxist Ethiopian with monetary ties to China

- they won't be the ones to find the cure as labs who have nothing o do with them will likely find it much faster

- they don't have power over politicians or any kind of plan and they completely ignore economic sides of crises, 

- they have no strategy in case of a global pandemic

- they are doing what, exactly, these days? Sitting in meetings, going over numbers? Asking for more money? Where is their spokesperson giving clear and daily reports? Where is an authority figure leading in times of need and uncertainty? 

Diablo III, The Flayed

By far the most horrific sights in a game build of horrific sights, is a chamber the General reached once and I never got as far, until now. It is halfway to Hell and while you circle down, there are these flayed, chained behemoths, still alive, trapped, suffering in anguish. I don't know whom or what they are, but they seem evil even in their torment. I should probably check, though. Like, who comes up with this shit? What are their instructions? Build me a path that will give players nightmares for years?

uh. Update: Oh, yeah, I know now what they are. see, if you look closer, that entire structure is covered in skin which still seems alive sometimes, full of putrid boils and greasy hair patches and scar tissue. The behemoths are where that skin comes from.

Good times. 

Successful shipping of the new hive

Yay. We loaded a ten-panel hive from G's dad, drove it to our location and, fingers crossed, successfully mounted it on its new shelf. Going tomorrow first thing to check it. With a little luck, we now have three healthy, busy bee families. 

Mini panic attack

I got triggered today at the sight of drone brood cells -

- this is not my photo, our drone cells were fewer, but more pronounced and there was something deeply parasitic in the sight of them, something fungae-like, an unnatural growth. Of course, there was nothing really wrong with it, it was a beautiful brood panel, but I started to get overwhelmed and this culminated into a small temper tantrum, a panic fit, finally sparked by someone making a comment on my Facebook announcement regarding the closure of post office traffic. Finally, I exploded and for about six or seven hours I was in full-blown depression anxiety stage. I left the site to return to town on foot, took a shower, cried and shook - the General tried to cheer me up with oral sex and later ice-cream - and bad thoughts kept washing over me. Ugly, dark, remorseful, desperate thoughts. I closed down my Instagram and FB and the Etsy store, simply because the stress of it all was getting to me. I won't deal with it until at least the pans arrive or something. I need to calm down a bit. Not to dread every time I have a sale on whether or not I will be able to ship it or will some fucktard clerk calmly explain ten times the shipping fee or the normal post and four times the price of the content is just how they do business, sorry. We have enough money for a while and today earlier my drawing books arrived. I spent the evening testing the paper. Even cleaned the desk a little, to make room. I told the General not to try to stop me from feeling miserable, because I need to process it, not pretend I'm cool. The nightmares need to simmer down on their own. They will. I just need no one to die.

And the cat has some skin thing going on, with vast patched of hair having fallen out and she's bleeding from the scabs. Fun times. 

I get these shitty, elaborate, movie-like nightmares, which usually don't really have a proper closure ending. Today it was again about the virus, of course, because I can have fun with end-of-world scenarios while awake, but in dreams, the dread catches up. Usually. In the dream, we were having a picnic family party, so of course we all got sick, because it was a family of doctors and they all claimed the one guy showing symptoms was just having seasonal hay fever. So they took us to this old makeshift hospital/barracks, just as the 18/month shift of nurses was coming out, and they were messed up. Not so much because it would be really really dreadful - in which case a sort of adventure mode kicks in and people deal with it a lot better - but because it was an endless dreary and that sucks all the cheer out of you no matter what you are. There were army beds in the barren building, something I sort of like, and was nervous that we will all be able to sleep together, have a little adventure of our own, trying to organize some pastime for those not bedridden, which nobody cared about. The people were put in beds two at a time, opposite direction. Very few doctors, very few nurses. I joined the doctor for the morning rounds, as he just talked to people, there wasn't really much of anything they could do. Like, they got to this very old man and the doctor said they will take the gag and restraints off him today, if he proves he's gotten a lot better - by squeezing the doctor's finger. Poor old man could neither see nor squeeze the finger, so the restraints stayed on, no matter how he begged to be released. (It seemed to cause some sort of violent seizures, this virus). And so on. Whole endless movie or heartbreaking cases of old people begging to be helped and me trying to keep up the group's cheer completely unsuccessfully.