Monday, 26 September 2016

Dreams about the weird kind of social courage

Had a cute dream that I will somehow try to incorporate into Goose, though I am not quite yet able to see how… It’s righteous, so it may turn out that this is actually something Kestrel did, as oppose to Paper, who advocates against helping people along … (Even though she always does it.)
So, in the dream I was asked to play a piano during a recital in the dance studio ran by a woman I used to do photos for. It’s an odd place, an odd place for me to perform at, pretty must any individual of her vast clientele disapproves of me. Usually they just gave me shit when I was supposed to photograph the recitals, then asked for free photos.
Also, I cannot play a single thing on the piano, or any other instrument. Tried, I suck. Tried a lot. Suck big time.
The first bit of the recital was by Tinka’s elder daughter, who is talented and around nine years old. I followed with a simple piece, but was accompanied by a young Jewish man, who played amazingly. Then I was supposed to play two more, but not only was it complicated pieces – I had no notes. The woman came to me to complain what am I doing, when i just sat there and doodled in my notes, and I said there’s no sheets for the music and I do not know them by heart. This was all horrifically embarrassing – to everyone except me. The Jewish boy did truly all he could think of to keep the concert going without making my inability too obvious. Ultimately he simply took over the main, people booed me and applauded him and I left. A few minutes later he came running after me, upset almost to tears, about how I could ruin him so badly on his first concert. I explained I was not hired to be the musician  - I was hired, because I was the actress. This made me think a little, but I was, I really could be. If ship life has taughte me anything, it was that I could act truly well.And it was the truth: if he had his first concert, the expectations would be too high and he would be exposed. This was he was not expected to do anything and yet he saved the evening and now everyone will remember me as a failure – which I could not care less about – and him as the little genius who saved the day. His next show will be amazing.He will already be famous in the positive way.
He gave me half of a Bounty chocolate and then we kissed for a long time, like schoolchildren kiss.
I’m beginning to notice I miss kissing people, mainly school boys. I mean, it’s a little late now, but even in the stories I’m noticing I skip over the sex part and just mention kissing a lot. 

And now if you'll excuse me i'm going to listen to pretty/feel-good pompous piano music by some Florian guy.