While for some reason I am fascinated by the Scottish website tracker for salt/gritter trucks, today is the last day of my solitary confinement, the weather is magnificent and I am really, really restless. Had the General not been such a stickler for rules, I'd be on a hike already. Or just anywhere that is not indoors. thank the Gods for Warcraft and we've just had Anduin gone full Arthas and slaughter someone. General asked how is it possible such a mighty creature was so easily killed and I said: individuals burdened with that amount of guild don't even fight back anymore. 

He's gone uphill to see to two decrepit hives (mould got to them) and feed the others with a sticky mesh of sugar and pollen we've ground into cakes - even though we still have no idea what we're doing right or what we're doing wrong, almost all of the colonies survived the winter. Ironically, our strongest family perished - the one from our best construction. It's just uncanny. But it is starting to seed ambition in G again and he's plotting to have a lot more next fall. We agreed on ten. Granted, since we make our own boxes and now have all the space we need, there is no reason not to have as many as we want. My homework today is finding all the plants we can plant to keep the little fuckers fed and fuzzy. 

As always when something is going well, I worry something bad will happen or I'm missing something. I can never tell if that's just experience or anxiety. Since thinking about not having anyone to inherit all my books and craft material, I've become truly worried about dying. Last year has been financially awesome, but also dad died, so all these books I've purchased and never had the chance to open, they are haunting me a little. "Some day, when we've built our own wee house somewhere, I will have all the time in the world to read..." Baaaaad strategy. Of course, I've always been paranoid about the sand running out of the hourglass. So no new stresses there.

I spent yesterday trying to waste 100 bucks online and I genuinely have nothing else to buy. I've plateaued in my desires and that's not good. There are a hundred online orders in transit on the way to me, so until I receive samples, it makes no sense to order more of what I think I will like. I bought an astounding-looking bookmarker on Ali Express, yet until I receive it and see if it's any good at all, buying more like it is senseless. There should be new hiking pants somewhere in the future on my list, but I hate buying clothes. Ultimately I alternated between a Lush vibrator, an Irish whistle and spoon-carving chisels. G knows about these things, so he ordered me three Morakniv curved knives. It's more than likely I will slip and stab myself in the palm on the first day, but carving your own hiking cup just seems like something everyone should try at least once. What we really need, though, is small woodworking saw. We have one for straight cuts, we need one for smaller, shapely ones. And a proper table to set it. We haven't been purchasing any wood-working tools for months, because the lockdown made it pointless, as our workspace is usually set under G's parents' barn on a nice sunny weekend. He makes drawers and trays and bee stuff and I read in a hammock, weighted down by kittens or pups.