Come writers and critics
Who prophesize with your pen
And keep your eyes wide
The chance won't come again
And don't speak too soon
For the wheel's still in spin ...

Bob Dylan

From a long(ing) time ago, the dark pics

Good GODS my arms ache. That was some intense lawnmowing there. Pity the weather is shit and everyone is praying the frost tonight doesn't kill EVERYTHING, like it did last year, but once my gorilla-long arms get some rest, tomorrow we continue.

.. and because I am a moron and didn't hydrate properly, my head now hurts like a BRICK.

Such a wild day. Drej and I had a nice walk, though it’s fucking cold for April, and windy, and talked about photography a lot, which always makes me feel good. I got closer to my triptych herbarium idea, which g upgraded saying I should also make a story out of following the life on an anthill, and while I waited for him and internet was down, I photographed spoons. Just because. G slept a couple of hours, then offed to have a brunch date, but got a call to report to the downtown office. I always get nervous during those calls, and when he called me back, he was a little stunned, too. He also had to go to the grocery store, which I am not allowed to accompany, because I suck at buying proper food, so I had to wait at home for him to return and we’ll go out for a coffee. A little while later he calls and I hop down and he’s sitting in the window at the entrance with one of THOSE expressions. He says he finally bought himself the birthday present that’ll make him happy. It’s outside. I walk out carefully, half expecting a Harley Davidson or a pet dragon or at least a puppy (we got THIS close to buying a pale Husky wolf-look-alike), but it’s an off-road bike. I say: But you already have an off-road bike. “It’s for you, you idiot.” Why would you buy ME a bike for YOUR birthday? Because you looked miserable the last time we went on a bike ride, using your dumpy old town bike. And making you happy makes me happy.

                O.o

Blimey.

                Of course it’s been so long that I can no longer ride a bike and am notoriously afraid of being killed in traffic, seeing me try to ride it was a tragic affair – which brought back the memories of the first day we met – when he watched me try to ride a moped.

                During coffee, he explained what the call to the office was about. One of THOSE calls. And it’s a pickle. General is not a person who likes change to come dramatically, unlike me, who has an orgasm seeing new movie posters being put up. We spoke at length about pros and cons, agreeing he’ll need more information before even knowing how to feel about it. Dad called me to ask how come I haven’t come uphill yet to mow the lawn with the new mower. Because it’s been raining and snowing, dad? I’m Rambo, but I’m not Bear Grylls.

                We couldn’t nap, so we just lay in bed entwined and talked, then he offed to nap in the bathtub full of hot water – something he does – and back in bed I made an effort to demonstrate (I suck as reacting to presents properly. I get choked up as the feels get stuck at the bottleneck, which can be misconstrued as indifference, yet is anything but) exactly how in love with him I am and how my brain is full of bike-trip plans. When he still couldn’t sleep I showed him a bunch of adorable Huawei p10 commercials. (Carl! :D ) and then played WoW until finally I heard him breathe in his sleep mode. I’m going uphill tomorrow and hopefully he’ll get his much needed – and much avoided – sleep, then we plan to go out for his birthday lunch, the three of us.

                Lemme see if I’ll be able to take some of the proposed herbarium pickies. I lack terribly Drej’s calm consistency. I want to make an effort at posting something predictable every day, but am so far only editing old, dramatic, dark nostalgic portraits...

I'm hyping the reds in the BWs to the max. It results in nothing anyone would ever like - except this mood I'm in... this odd Dustbowl capacity to it.. The kind of life and death you don't ever get in pretty pretty pictures ...

(In reality, this is a very lovely schoolgirl, in case anyone freaks out.)

Spoons, you think?

10 years younger, thinner and - short hair days!

Awwwww, found this old photo - pardon the ghastly photoshop attempt, it seems I was using some kind of pedestrian program and needed to erase the background - from my postmaiden days!! I used a kitchen knife to cut my then hair, because it got in the way of my helmet ... And yes, I was ten years younger, thinner and a lot more ... nosey (my nose is actually a lot smaller) then, what I really really miss is the evolution of having your hair grow long. For sure, having the long hair I wear now is certainly hot, but ... G has greenlit my visit to a dresser - he insists a pro does it, properly, but other than that he finally allows me to get rid of the mane. Here I also had the winter brown colour. Yay!!

Watching some YouTube stuff that is making me cry (Boogie2988 talking about being abused; the family that's abusing their kids and thinking it's fun and fine; the poor man who was thrown off an United Airlines plane, because they needed to make room for another passanger, crying "I need to get home, I need to get home..." - that is someone's father you fucking creeps!...)

... and then watching some stuff that is making me happy again. Like Firefly Funko Pop options (Jayne! :D ) and Agnes Krown without eyebrows.

Walked off hill in the rain today – there was a promise of coffee ice-cream and company of a beautiful woman at the end of descend – wearing none of rain gear, not even shoes. (G drove and took all the bags with him, as getting my canvas bag wet wouldn’t be as recommended.) Both family meals – early breakfast and late lunch were lovely, and although I didn’t eat as much as I can, ham, eggs and horseradish can be awfully heavy and I needed some air. I borrowed dad’s woolly cap and vest, so as to keep my head and torso warm, and not much else. We’re approaching that time of the season when I love having my innards warm, but my skin cold. I sleep more and more often completely exposed as well. Plus, knowing I’ll be able to change clothes as soon as I get home, made it less a real sport than a game. The hill roads were empty, no cars or people, with an enchanting timelessness to them, that made me wish I had a walking staff and a bindle of blessed ham and eggs in it. :D