Now it's drying.
Excuse me while I go and chase around local drug dealers, buying all the blow they have to offer, throwing it out and just keeping the vials... Is cocaine vegan? Wouldn't want to contaminate my darlings.
Thursday, 14 May 2020
That one time I almost bought a puppy
(Good thing I have no access to money. Or we'd have two dogs tomorrow.)
It's probably because mum asked me if I would not be afraid of living somewhere remote and I said not if we had three rottweilers and then we both kind of slowly looked over to our family rottweiler who, hand to heart, tends to make coffee for intruders and asks how they've been doin'. She's the kind of dog who does not understand why aggression should be a part of any kind of confrontation. Having said that, the fluffy puffy 'golden' golden retriever goes straight for the jugular of everyone who comes close to the house, be it health workers, postmen, visitors or extended family. So.
Maybe I should get three golden retrievers?
On a darker note ... sometimes I have ideas which would make for excellent business ideas, but I refuse to complete them, because they are too sad. Another person from G's parent's valley died and he was a lonely old man with just one niece and of course because everyone avoided him, he always go super happy and painfully overwhelmed when anyone finally came to visit. And he was always afraid of dying alone, which obviously he did. It took a while for people to find him. I was thinking of a service which would check in on old lonely people every day. Then again, missing one check-in is normal... Missing two in a row ... three days to check on a dead body. Dunno. I imagine there are already services which provide it. I just don't want to do it. Even though it would be a neat thing to do. Employ a bunch of kids, make some calls. Charge extremely little.
On a happy note: I bought some essential oils - no, not for curing cancer or dementia or to lose weight - but to add to the new shiny colours. I should probably test it in advance. And offer it optionally. What I really need is a blueberry essence. I have such neat blue tones. (So far I got lemongrass, lavender, rosemary and vanilla. Perhaps I'll also get sandalwood. Coffee should be easy :D)
For a little while, it was interesting, checking the news. Now we're back to who owes what to whom and which politicians are blaming whom for what. And some sports stuff. And fake tits on celebrity people. I kinda miss the "damage report!" wave. I thought our land's spokesperson actually did a very decent job, constantly keeping us up to date and keeping it cool and honest. Crisis sobers people up. For about a minute.
For a little while, it was interesting, checking the news. Now we're back to who owes what to whom and which politicians are blaming whom for what. And some sports stuff. And fake tits on celebrity people. I kinda miss the "damage report!" wave. I thought our land's spokesperson actually did a very decent job, constantly keeping us up to date and keeping it cool and honest. Crisis sobers people up. For about a minute.
Monday, 11 May 2020
LoL, got a text from mum today. Didn't know she can even send a text. it was a passive-aggressive attempt at getting my attention, but she put a very polite 'regards' at the bottom. Too cute.
Sunday, 10 May 2020
First semi bee-sting
Since we started beekeeping, I've only just been stung today. And not even fully - it was through a soft glove, no stinger inside. It felt like a bit of a cigarette dropping on my finger, really. A minute of goosebumps and warm hand. Later I just forgot about it. So, not a proper sting. A proper sting will have my hand swell up like a tennis ball.
Managed not to kill myself riding a bike yesterday. Small victories!
Man, t'was such a lovely day. Flawless, one might say. The dog had to stay at home, as G planned on purchasing planks, but other than that, flawless. I've not been on a bike for over a year. It's not that far of a ride, really, from one town to the next, I just hate that several segments have no shoulder to speak of and you are at the mercy of countryside drivers on an uneasy country road. It's an up and down region, so I'd pause a few times on the tops to spy if G is on the move yet, so as to plan him passing by while I am riding downwards, possibly on a curve: I wanted to imagine myself as fast and hot as Matrix's Trinity on a Suzuki Hayabusa. If he overtook me while I was on the up... Well, let's say there were joggers who were faster. Families with small children on kiddy bikes. An occasional pedestrian swan. My helmet looks like I'm just leaving a hockey match to go invade Normandy.
Oh, the one part which was not ideal is that we left the rope somewhere and I couldn't really hang my hammock where I wanted it, which resulted in me getting bitten by a bug while I napped in the low grass behind the shed. Not stung, mind. That bitch saw me obstructing it's merry way and saw it fit to literally bite my thigh. It was a small, harmless thing with little pincers, but it did get me up. I may have thrown it away a bit hard. Usually I am more polite when something tries to kill me.
First after a bit of lunch (no matter how much we try to tell the General's mum not to bother cooking), we turned some of the cut-down grass for it to dry. G brought out his tools and set to making hive separation plates with teeny tiny doors. They were adorable. I learned how to heat the little wire in the frame so that the wax sets in, to make a comb foundation. (Precise work. If you botch it, you cut the wax sheet into ribbons and that's it for it.) I only made five, G's mum did the rest, but she said to tell G I made all. I admitted it's impossible to lie to G, as he could instantly tell and besides, five was great for a first-timer. This somehow impressed her, that I was not willing to tell even a harmless lie. I really wonder what these people think of me. I hope they think I am a very curious creature. Who occasionally loses her temper and tries to strangle a zip code area.
Uu, they have kittens! And from a luckless cat, too. It's the poor cat who first lost her mum very early on (so early, that she tends to compulsively suckle on her own tit to compensate for the lack of mother's milk she suffered as a tiny thing), then fell somehow and managed to rip open her stomach and had to have been patched together. But oddly enough, she did manage to conceive, just not deliver. The first kitten suffocated, it was a mess, and the poor mom pleaded for help from humans, so they hurried to the wet and she needed a C-section. Four kittens! Three days old! Ooooh, I tend to pinch all their chubby tiny ears and paws and tails and kiss them all over. they look like dandelion bulbs anyway. The mom cat kept giving me warning looks to stop upsetting them, as then they wanted to suckle and she was exhausted and just wanted to sleep in the adjacent basket. I offed to talk to pigs and pet those. One is a real cuddle-fiend and loves being scratched and tickled. The other not so much. I was warned not to let that one reach my feet, as he may try to bite it. Tried to catch and pet some chickens, too, but those know me by now and run faster.
Ye, people probably think I'm retarded. Autistic, to be politically correct.
Last work well done was getting the hay together and getting it to the cellar of the barn: kids put it on the little waggon and threw it into the barn mid-section, G's mum then threw it to the roof section and I stuffed it to the side of the roof to make room. Never done that before, it's itchy work, but I loved it. I actually love that building. They have tools set aside, buried under decades of hay, which make me feel like I've missed history by THIS much. Tooks for getting wheat clean, tools for making rope, mills and presses, tools with their own names which I only know from Books and museums. G's mum would tell me she had little choice but to be a farm-woman, as they didn't want her to go to school so she wouldn't get any ideas, but I think she makes for a fantastic farm-keeper and she knows everything. It's not as often as she thinks, that someone just knows how to do everything. From fixing a tractor to making flawless pie, it's not a given. I said since knowing her, my mum is also trying to act as someone who can easily solve daily practical problems. Mine was raised to be a lady, meaning someone else will solve her problems for her, but it's so cute when she tells of her little achievements, like, today I managed to pour gasoline into the little carry-container! (Needed for the mowers. Something dad would do routinely, so she never even noticed it.)
Anyway. G will still be asleep awhile, catching up on it. His fourteen-hour shifts may sound a good idea on paper, but they are a killer. (He had plans to go hunting. Right. You have to get up at 3:30 to go hunting. He's still halfway to a coma at 7:30.) We have to go check the baby hives later and then back to G's parents' to finish the separation plates. I overheard his dad saying he had another hive set aside for G, but I think that was the swarm I was supposed to get, before C19 distracted our intentions. No matter. I'd love to have another family, even if it is in just a regular hive. They're collecting like crazy. Akacia is about to start any day now. That is by far the best honey. Well, except for chestnut. And maybe rosemary. Any Mediterranean flavour. But a great honey.
Oh, the one part which was not ideal is that we left the rope somewhere and I couldn't really hang my hammock where I wanted it, which resulted in me getting bitten by a bug while I napped in the low grass behind the shed. Not stung, mind. That bitch saw me obstructing it's merry way and saw it fit to literally bite my thigh. It was a small, harmless thing with little pincers, but it did get me up. I may have thrown it away a bit hard. Usually I am more polite when something tries to kill me.
First after a bit of lunch (no matter how much we try to tell the General's mum not to bother cooking), we turned some of the cut-down grass for it to dry. G brought out his tools and set to making hive separation plates with teeny tiny doors. They were adorable. I learned how to heat the little wire in the frame so that the wax sets in, to make a comb foundation. (Precise work. If you botch it, you cut the wax sheet into ribbons and that's it for it.) I only made five, G's mum did the rest, but she said to tell G I made all. I admitted it's impossible to lie to G, as he could instantly tell and besides, five was great for a first-timer. This somehow impressed her, that I was not willing to tell even a harmless lie. I really wonder what these people think of me. I hope they think I am a very curious creature. Who occasionally loses her temper and tries to strangle a zip code area.
Uu, they have kittens! And from a luckless cat, too. It's the poor cat who first lost her mum very early on (so early, that she tends to compulsively suckle on her own tit to compensate for the lack of mother's milk she suffered as a tiny thing), then fell somehow and managed to rip open her stomach and had to have been patched together. But oddly enough, she did manage to conceive, just not deliver. The first kitten suffocated, it was a mess, and the poor mom pleaded for help from humans, so they hurried to the wet and she needed a C-section. Four kittens! Three days old! Ooooh, I tend to pinch all their chubby tiny ears and paws and tails and kiss them all over. they look like dandelion bulbs anyway. The mom cat kept giving me warning looks to stop upsetting them, as then they wanted to suckle and she was exhausted and just wanted to sleep in the adjacent basket. I offed to talk to pigs and pet those. One is a real cuddle-fiend and loves being scratched and tickled. The other not so much. I was warned not to let that one reach my feet, as he may try to bite it. Tried to catch and pet some chickens, too, but those know me by now and run faster.
Ye, people probably think I'm retarded. Autistic, to be politically correct.
Last work well done was getting the hay together and getting it to the cellar of the barn: kids put it on the little waggon and threw it into the barn mid-section, G's mum then threw it to the roof section and I stuffed it to the side of the roof to make room. Never done that before, it's itchy work, but I loved it. I actually love that building. They have tools set aside, buried under decades of hay, which make me feel like I've missed history by THIS much. Tooks for getting wheat clean, tools for making rope, mills and presses, tools with their own names which I only know from Books and museums. G's mum would tell me she had little choice but to be a farm-woman, as they didn't want her to go to school so she wouldn't get any ideas, but I think she makes for a fantastic farm-keeper and she knows everything. It's not as often as she thinks, that someone just knows how to do everything. From fixing a tractor to making flawless pie, it's not a given. I said since knowing her, my mum is also trying to act as someone who can easily solve daily practical problems. Mine was raised to be a lady, meaning someone else will solve her problems for her, but it's so cute when she tells of her little achievements, like, today I managed to pour gasoline into the little carry-container! (Needed for the mowers. Something dad would do routinely, so she never even noticed it.)
Anyway. G will still be asleep awhile, catching up on it. His fourteen-hour shifts may sound a good idea on paper, but they are a killer. (He had plans to go hunting. Right. You have to get up at 3:30 to go hunting. He's still halfway to a coma at 7:30.) We have to go check the baby hives later and then back to G's parents' to finish the separation plates. I overheard his dad saying he had another hive set aside for G, but I think that was the swarm I was supposed to get, before C19 distracted our intentions. No matter. I'd love to have another family, even if it is in just a regular hive. They're collecting like crazy. Akacia is about to start any day now. That is by far the best honey. Well, except for chestnut. And maybe rosemary. Any Mediterranean flavour. But a great honey.
Saturday, 9 May 2020
Would you adam-and-eve it. 200 out of my 1500 ordered pans have arrived. Four ... months ... later ...
G's loving insult #684
Me: "You move your elbow over your face when you fall asleep."
G: "I know. It wakes me up when all the blood's drained from my arm, it's cold and I need to move it. Then I turn over to check on you, cover your chubby kidney, roll your pond-lily out of the puddle and shoo away all the frogs you are likely to snore in."
*The lardy kidney is real, and he does - pulls my blankie over that part, as it tends to be the coldest part of me. Pond-lily is supposed to be my head. Fact is, I drool like a hydrant, especially if I eat or drink anything before we pass out. There really is a gooey pond underneath my face rather often. It would make sense it attracts the local frogs. And I do snore. Even when face-down, apparently. It's a rare and precious talent.
G: "I know. It wakes me up when all the blood's drained from my arm, it's cold and I need to move it. Then I turn over to check on you, cover your chubby kidney, roll your pond-lily out of the puddle and shoo away all the frogs you are likely to snore in."
*The lardy kidney is real, and he does - pulls my blankie over that part, as it tends to be the coldest part of me. Pond-lily is supposed to be my head. Fact is, I drool like a hydrant, especially if I eat or drink anything before we pass out. There really is a gooey pond underneath my face rather often. It would make sense it attracts the local frogs. And I do snore. Even when face-down, apparently. It's a rare and precious talent.
I should really stop going on Facebook. I ... ye ...
There are people in my town, or country, who are protesting the government (in general, not any specific sense) by riding their pushbikes around the street, making a little bit of noise with their honks and bells. Just once. Every few days. Like ... I have no idea what they want, and if you ask on Facebook whom they propose the government be replaced with - you know, the WHOLE government, like it's just one person - they tell you to go fuck yourself and that you are the problem... Mind, the government we had two months ago capitulated under this one we have now and it's the exact same corrupt shit it always is. We change them once every few months and really nothing changes. If you don't watch the news you don't even notice. We never had one people would actually like, but all in all, it's a bunch of politicians - what's to like? They made sure only 100 people died in the pandemic and stole a bunch of money. That's literally their only job. Keep people alive and steal money.
Imagine having someone not agree with you and in an exclamation of that disagreement hop on a bike and ride around town ringing their bell.
Ye.
But I'm the problem.
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