Gotta give it to my brain, it's not as dumb as it looks. I had a dream about my grandma calling me, to complain about how we haven't visited these past two years since she's not been awake (she's 102) - it's her birthday and she used to do it all the time, throwing tantrums when we didn't visit enough (and when we did, she just threatened to kill herself because we don't love her and she's a burden and we're ungrateful people...) So, you know, fun family stuff.. 

But the brain was, like: hm, but you've been asleep for two years and extremely senile before that, certainly too senile to form coherent sentences... (She would talk in oddly disjointed concepts that I could easily interpret, as I speak 'after stroke', having some experience with dad's seizures.) 'This can't be right. Is this a dream? '

I of course woke up instantly at that time, as dreams run away if they are busted. Good job, brain.

What a slow day...

 ... The last day of the sale. The upper target reached, almost all investments covered. (I still need to re-order a ton of envelopes - bland ones for normal traffic and pretty ones for traffic that's dubbing as human correspondence, so that French taxation doesn't come at me with a firing squad for the two sales I make to France yearly. (French wrapping tax is 80 bucks. German is 8.) And since new pans haven't yet arrived, I need to purchase the syringes to store new paint in until they do. They upped the price of the common 20 ml syringes by 200% overnight. I'm contemplating going back to washing them after use them. I swear, if I ever hire workers, one will be tasked just with washing used pans and suchlike. I'll be one of THOSE bosses :))))

     It's almost 11 in the morning and I haven't even woken up yet. My brain has slowed almost to a halt. (Though I am three days away from my period and I really need to get myself one of those grain-filled tummy pillows you can warm up in the microwave.) Going to bed early, sleeping till almost 8, shunning doggy walks, shunning reading, even jigsaw puzzles. I play a little Warcraft, watch a little bit of Netflix. It's drizzly and gray outdoors, I am sleepy, lazy and calm. Two or three more days. I feel like my whole existence is concaving to a little pile of worn clothes on the floor. Not in a bad way. In a comfy, sleepy, restful way. At this moment, all is good and I get to be completely and utterly bored, like a lazy kitten. 

     I am certain something shitty will happen soon enough. But for now, today, until 11am, I am as brainless and emotionless as a speck of dust tumbling in warm air above the radiator, my tummy full of cashews and the dog snoring gently in the corner.. 

Paint cakes :)))

 

Rings of Power Elves: what we were hoping for ... what we got..

 How the ef did they manage not to include a single fuckable elf in a 1 billion dollar show about elves?

Dear diary ...

It's almost the end of the year. They just turned on the winter lights in the town center, so the bustling makes it all feel extremely festive. So I feel like it's the end of the year.

Been a crazy year. So much has happened. A new niece! A new lens! A new camera I can almost use... I purchased SO many Dedoles socks and undies and even quite a few Merino wool knickers, which cost a buttload, but are the comfiest I have ever worn. My bum loves the wool, loved the sense of airiness and warmth. And the Dedoles socks, well. They are the cutest to exist. 

There have also been inks that words cannot describe, nibs and glass pens, the whole epoxy laboratory, soooo many books, the majesty new gun I bought for G with all its bells and whistles, and so many wonderful tidbits, half of them on AliExpress, and not at all that few new materials from the German stores. 

So far, everything has been lovely, although of course new laws, new taxes, new political stupidities will surely darken some of the skies in the future. I need to try and live up to the resolution of the last year and expand my business to small stores and shops worldwide... A new format, a new style, just for the slightly more 'mass' production. The goals for 2023 are: a tiny new car just for myself and the doggies (Fiat 500 possibly or any other three-door smallest kind), more dogs!, a telescope and a pilot license for a Cessna. Oh, and of course, at the top of the list, taking G to Iceland for a few weeks, driving him there. 

Half realistic goals. Half achievable goals. If the stars will have it, fickle little bitches, shining down on me like Gatsby's green light :)))))

Dear diary...

I know I've been neglecting you all too fiercely. 

Much has happened since my last confession.

I have all but gotten the new camera to work, even Photoshop has been making an effort to keep up and bridge the mirrorless formats. I am only having a wee bit of insubordination issues with the new lens, but we're getting there.

New WoW expansion will soon be upon us. I am mildly thrilled, whereas G has given up on it. 120 bucks for a pretty box for a game he doesn't plan to play. I am getting him a cool hunters' rifle instead, IRL

I've taken up karate and have gone 14 times already, skipping out only yesterday because I am not feeling a 100%. Not Covid, just this weird unpleasant, not all there feeling. I don't want to be caught in the rain after getting all heated and sweaty indoors. 

October's crush on Jack Skellington and Billie Eilish's rendering of Sally's song (and reading the Pumpkin Queen) has slowly drifted into November's crush on Adar - the only fuckable elf in the billion-dollar Tolkien show put out recently, which is the most beautiful bore since the Fall (2006). It isn't easy to watch other works by Joseph Mawle, as he tends to go for the freakishly depressing and weird in his opus. Some freakish fanfiction on him, too.

October was a record sale month, which I've not quite caught up with yet in November, being the 15th... You really never can tell. The Freaky Halloween and Spooky House paints have been wildly well received, same as Dark Mermaids and dark Dryades. I am currently working on some remakes and a whole range of blue shimmers called Frost. 

Not much else in other news. I saw a photo of my niece, which is the prettiest human I have ever seen, and we have a new president, same old same old. I've gone to a retarded metal-detecting-conservations seminar, but not yet to any of the communal hunts. Lyra is getting old and I am better off working. I feel indoor-y. But i am looking forward to getting another doggy, so as to force me to take my lazy old ass out more. 

Which I might do right now, because I discovered there is a bakery that makes Dobosh cake in town. Hello! Motivation, see??

Am again spitting bits of a tooth, though at least for now I am slowly starting to comprehend losing a filling is not as catastrophic as, say, breaking your face by being clumsy. By checking out the various dentists' offices, none of which are responding to my mail, I start to notice it's not even all that unusual. So I now hope not to break the rest of the walls still remaining (it WAS, technically, a third of the tooth that's broken off) by consuming food which can be devoured without chewing and has a ton of calories. Thank the gods for honey.

In the meanwhile, both our fans AND the AC are on full blast, doing their best to keep us sane - it's 35'C so far, with a heatwave barely starting. Yes, I am sore all over, however, walking out yesterday to stroll the doggo, despite it being 8pm, my dizziness returned after half an hour and I needed to return and hide in the cold bathtub. No matter how beautiful I find summers to be, they are hell here, in this filthy little city. Whole different story at G's parents' place. 95F in the country is like 70 in the real world. I am soaked in sweat even if I go out at 5am. Some weird rain keeps on falling from small puffs of clouds, only making everything more humid. 

.