Wednesday 26 September 2018

I saw someone I haven't seen - but plenty thought of in the meanwhile - for a while now. Two years, I think? Someone I was a little bit in love with then and am a little bit in love with still. Granted, I flirt like a combined harvester and we could agree to dissagree that as bad as I was at courtship, she was at being courted. I sent her a DM 'Coffee?' right away from the parking lot, of course to no response. She's probably blocked me on FB. Still, it's the sort of thing I would do. Just dive in. The best part of this encountaer was that she either didn't recognise me right away or momentarily forgot we had a falling out the last time, but her face lit up when our eyes met. Fuck she was beautiful. (She last demanded I take down a photo of hers I put the blog without her permission and I responded I don't need her permission to put my own photos on my own blog) A moment later, when I rounded the aisle and asked: How you doin', shrimp?, she was already embarassed and uncomfortable (me thinks? I never know this social interaction shit) and we exchanged five polite words, then went separate ways. 

Fact is, I was smitten with her instantaneously, seeing her once on a train station. I followed her into the train compartment and gradually started a conversation until for about half a year we talked or wrote almost every day, we went on small trips and had tiny adventures like anime conventions or seaside evenings with casual photo moments, usually with plenty other friends along. I made it no secret I'm attracted to her. Alas, she was the most walled-up adult I could think of, literally actively against having any sort of emotional fun, yet alone any kind of flirtatious interest. 

When you let someone know, in not so many words, that if you had any say in it, you'd cover yourself in their long black hair and never come out, and not allow a day to go by without achieving at least a smile, a kiss, a tear, an orgasm or a poem from them ... It's a 98% chance they'll run away screaming and block you on FB. But I always will.


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