Saturday 15 February 2020

General's cure for fear of dying


I checked the arrangement of pebbles in the mud between us. “He said something good to me the other day. He knows I am so very awfully afraid of dying.”
“But he is a soldier, is he not?”
“Oh, he gets it now, since he knows me. So, I was trying to sugar down the events of … what happened in that midway house when Morphei lost it … My heart could have failed and it would not be the first time Morphei almost separated my self from my body. Either for malicious or annoitive ambition, he would end my myselfness to render me either gone or … someone else. Anyway. Sepp is calm about such things and I could never understand how he could be so despondent – and he's not. He said he is grateful. He said: No amount of days knowing you would be enough. But we had a good run. You had chocolate every day, good sex every day, you read so many poems and you travelled everywhere, sharp pencils and blunt swords. You saved a life. You saw so much art and were asked to make so many decisions. Who, in measure of hand dealt to humans, could have had a better run?..”
“He is strange for a soldier.”

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