We've gone full healthy, ladies and gents, buying a cute little thing called Nutribullet - basically a smoothie maker, no fuss there. And then we shared a smoothie. The General is still vomiting and I've shat myself faster than that time I got an official mail from the city court (which turned out to just be a formal letter informing me I've inherited 27 bucks from dad.) Letters from the court that have benevolent content should have some cute stamp or a little bee sticker or something on them. You don't just send a formal court mail to someone without warning. That's just bad humanism.
As I was saying: a human body is simply not designed to ingest half an apple, half a grapefruit and half a banana in one go. The culture shock of our regular diet was too much. We should have at least mixed in some cocoa powder or vanilla sugar or something.
A hard lesson to learn. Introducing a healthy diet to your ... diet, is not as easy as it sounds. Oh, related topic, I've been watching a funny mortician's YT channel, learning about all kinds of terrible stories in a funny way. That should distract me from my usual existential anxiety and persistent dreams of my dead dad: sailors left to bang on walls of their sunken tomb ship for 16 days, or people who ate one another in awfully planned pioneering enterprises. Also plagues. And cremation scams.
The General would kill me if he found out, but what does he know. He's passed out now in a fetal position, his perfect feet shivering slightly from under a blankie. Did I mention we promised to each drink half of a smoothie every day, together, cheering one another on?
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