I cannot get over how dumb these shows are. Like they’re made for eleven-year-olds with a learning disability. (Despite overwhelming evidence against it, there ARE good YA books out there …) The characters are sooooo cliché it’s painful to watch. The arch of the underwear-models-early-twenties super-capable multiracial extra-woke villains who aren’t really (I know! I was so shocked! It’s like I’m watching Firefly for children!) is so predictable, it can be skipped entirely and you’ll still know exactly what happened. (They’re not really greedy villains?! Friendship is better than money?!?) There’s a grown woman obsessed with waffles. No, I didn’t write that wrong. Not opals. Or sables. Or Russo-Baltique. Waffles. Grown woman, not a small boy. Which, by the way, are shown Belgian in the show, zero to do with fake tsar Russia, a land where neither uniforms nor weapons involve in hundreds of years and they need a whole wagon of child cartographers to chart a fully populated, fully known region, for some reason. There’s a woman with no issue spying on her son’s sex life and, yes, you might have guessed it, the protagonists are orphans. Who manage to find their inner power due to goodness of their hearts and dire straits. It is sooooo… freaking boring. I just cannot get over how ret*rded the Fold is. Like … three hundred years later? They haven’t built a mountain pass or negotiated a route with the northern-convenient-plot-barrier folk? They HAVE to try and SAIL through the WIDEST part on OPEN sailboats, with zero bars or cages or armor, standing, looking around stupid, shocked, with NO weaponry, ballistic countermeasure (a little net? No? Not even a small with two stones on it?) or even slightly bigger crossbows? Seriously? They’re just … sliding buffets in winter costume, screaming in the fog for 300 years? I’ll give points for Ben Barnes’s effort, but the rest … Come ON show. You’re forcing me to read a YA book to see whose fault this is and I have so many more important things to do …
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