Hmmmmm.... Do I or do I not want to watch the new Fringe on the big TV in bed?....

Naaaa....

Work desk is better. I'm getting closer to cracking the mysteries of Adobe as well! Adobe for Dummies is a great help :)

Had nightmares about my crazy mother, so I'm a bit un-ready to return to bed just yet. Besides, hate bed without Piček :(

Ahhh, Saturdays...

Off for some hotdogs..

I love this time of the day in my street... It's somewhat even better in winter, as in summer it's already fully bright by 5. Just before 7am, freezing twilight, torrents of school-children rolling down the street from the train station.. I put on my mega parka and skip across the curve to get some bread for the day, while early birds sit in front of the cafe, wrapped in blankets, smoking and drinking their fast evaporating coffees. A garbage truck maneuvers and delivery trucks make improper turns, as traffic is not dense enough yet for the road to be serving it's purpose; just a couple of sleepy cards of folk driving their kids to school. Vans are bringing fresh flowers to the florist, dairy products to the grocer's, some joggers and doggie walkers suffer through.. It's probably the most dynamic part of the day - without being noisy - and everything is in grayish silver tones.  Wish I had a camera, but this should do :)

6 days to till exhibition opening

I just spent an hour changing templates for this blog - tired of blue-love-cats, missing the basic, I settled for welcome-autumn, because it's cure and it has a nice layout :) Day before I spent about 11 hours making invitations for the exhibition opening, checking my throat every hour so that I don't end up like that character from the latest Grey's Anatomy. Room was quite sooty and I inhaled more than a little smoke from burning seal wax, but I seem to be still alive and not hallucinating quite so much as expected :p Making 14o of them just for good measure, I ended up mailing them and if they fail to arrive this morning, I'll parcel somebody. My poor fingertips :S

I have to make four designs this weekend - three for the sock company and one for the museum, which has been waiting for me for ages... Piček wouldn't mind if I took on more projects - as some may actually pay off :)) - but everybody wants everything done NOW, missing the fact that good art takes a little bit of seasoning. :S

Work it, girl, work it!

But on a related subject, I got my computer back!! And not only that - two of my wishlist items came along with it - The Adobes!! YAY!!

Not that I can draw a single line with any of them at the moment, but i spent my whole dream-time learning. It's kind of weird, learning to use Live Color bucket within Adobe while dreaming YOU are the screen... Thank you, Klemen.

I think I may be getting my period. (Can never tell as my bleeds have little to do with my hormone floods - for a while i didn't mark the little ladies' calendar by how mch I leak but how much I fight wioth Piček and it's usually around these days..) I'm awfully mody, even by my otherwise hyped artistic prima donna standards. Got a new coat and some new satin linens for my bed, but it didn't really cheer me up as much as new things usually would. Grandma continues to put heavy emotional loads on me and I try to be Switzerland, but there are so many feelings to consider. It's probably not a coincidence Piček is working late these few days - cold, lonely office evenings aren't as stressfull as me, complaining over old magazines lying around and how I suddenly hate washing dishes and how I demand he tells me I don't look fat. Poor man. No amount of adult wisdom can spare you from a woman when she's having her period.

Computer's in repair shop, fickle bitch, hopefully having the Adobe uploaded, so I'm cotting on Piček's. The stockings factory came through, they ordered three drawings and I am full of ideas... too many, I think. What is customary for an author - to just do something and push the contractors into liking it, or making a few sketches and asking for approval of some? I prefer the later, though i am becoming confidant enough for the former, too..

Gimme a few days, I'll show you what I mean :p

Working on a sock gnome drawing for a stocking company - last night a contact mentioned they saw my work and are considering commissioning me to do the designs, so I spent the time meanwhile coming up with this rough estimate :P I drew the gnome in watercolor to almost full finish and did the vines roughly, then sketched the background with what I have that passes for an 'Illustrator'. It's not great, but it's a sketch. I'm hoping to impress the woman in charge by sending her the draft DURING our dialogue over the phone. As if 'I heard you might be interested, so I did this last night, so you can see what I'm thinking...' :)

Never did a puzzle draft before :D Hah, if they send me samples, I'll have X-mas gifts for all the toddlers around! :D

Thinking.... (I know. I know.)

Been doing a lot of thinking. One can do that, with freezing feet and chocolate stuck in their teeth..

It was an interesting year, but it wasn't what I planned to achieve. I wanted to see both my picture-books and at least one novel published, and be rich from the cards. It didn't work like that - not because everyone says the first year of doing business on your own is always absurdly difficult - but because too many commissions cut in, exhibitions and ideas and because I've realized my former technique and skill just won't do.

Porky died and as much as my passion for photography continues to burn, I have a whole new concept brewing in my head, one that requires a far better camera and a whole new approach. Different genre all together.

The book I have, half done, don't feel good enough yet, so I will stop pushing for their publication and just work like a professional, not an unreliable, irrational artist - take a step, do the art slowly, skillfully, exhale. And again... Don't be afraid to think outside the box.

My ambitions, my wish list changes with my knowledge. The age when this little chubby back-packer hitchhiked Europe and raided museums with a tiny little camera, is over. Next age will be that of a creadit card, driving Pathfinder and photographing another face of Europe with a Mark III. As watercolors replaced the drawing pencils, they, too, now face an upgrade. I know today that watercolored stuff can be photoshopped - something that never occurred to me before. Better yet, it can be merged, met half-way.  Several techniques. Better STILL, it can DEVIATE. And that is almost a whole key to the garden gate. One thing, though. I cannot strive to achieve flawless technique and then be done with it and get to work. It's not kung fu. Style always changes; details always take the reins and speed off to another direction. I have to let art breathe. I have to love the fact I will always learn something new every day. Choosing the life of an author is a curious path to take. Some moments it seems awful and bitterly hard and choking the love I have for people who believe in me when I fail to believe in myself.. Sometimes it's just mundane, boring, uninspired and I do other stuff, though very few of the things I used to do as a kid. This is a strange turn of events for me... Some things have withered and it feels that for the tiny little statues I put in the grass as a child have been replaced by towers. I gathered emotions, info, knowledge, approaches, perceptions, responses, casting the inspirational nets for 30 years.

Now is time to reap the whirlwind.

First day of snow!... Oh, poor postmen! .. O.o...

Aww, man! I dreamt I was Warwick Davis in a Matthew McConaughey movie... Oh, man! And not even a lame only-one-unable-to-score kind of a sidekick, more like the role of Linda Hunt in Year of Living Dangerously, but you can imagine all McConaughey ever did was talk about his sex life, shirtless and soooooo seen-forty-times-already!.. I hate that man for the moronic acting career he's chosen. It looked like there was hope for him yet when he was in Lone Star, but seeing Tropic Thunder that hope's lost. Warwick Davies of course is always okay.

 

But nightmares don't matter, because outside is....

SNOW! First day of snow!... and frost and slippery road and minus temperatures... Poor postmen, this kind of weather is Hell to deliver mail through... Piček and I had the good sense of  spending yester-afternoon  putting winter tyres on, even though it was already raining..  Hm.  It's full moon. Fool mun. :) .. :(And my computer is acting up. Makes sense, as it was paid for finally two days ago. Now it's just dying after a few minutes of screensaver and when it's on, the vent is howling like a ghost of a wolf trapped in the digital world.

Eight more days till exhibition - I should probably start making the invitations. The comp has to go into repair shop and I need to upload a couple of Adobe programs, meaning I'll miss it :S... hard to paint without watching some endless show like CSI or some suchlike... And resting my eyes by switching between watching upcoming movie trailers, DeviantArt, Youporn, Imdb and Wiki...

Uu, but Piček bought the small radiator, meaning today for the first time since summer I'll be able to take a shower in more than 8'C.