Off FB for a spell, banned, diminished to trolling on twitter like an amateur ...

Whether it was because I called our momentarily elected prime minister's party a Local Nazi Partia, or asked some dumb woman who took photos of Masai, praising their beauty, if these be the same Masai who fuck little girls, circumcise women and parade in shitty costumes in front of tourists for money? These could be just some of the possible reasons for my ban. I couldn't sleep last night, upset with the elections results, so i trolled plenty. I will probably be in more trouble down the road. But dad's proud of me for my mini manifesto :D After all, all of the things I've said were true. 

(Whoa, a 25% win in votes for the Local Nazi Partia? Now someone tell me people don't get the leaders we deserve. Who needs a ministry of culture(1), when you can purchase fake tanks(2) for a lame army(3) to rust in empty military yards(4)? Who needs a stable economy, if you can have corruption(5)? Who needs science if you can have the church(6)? Who needs human rights if you can treat asylum seekers as if they're less than people(7)? Who needs legalised abortion, prostitution, drugs and gay rights, if you can have barbed wire round and round the place(8)? Who needs fear human stupidity if you can fear your own government(9)? Who needs freedom of speech, if you can have 1984? Really, dudes, job well done.)

1 - They actually did this once, not too long ago, completely abolished the ministry of culture as redundant. 

2 - The guy who won with his party is known for fake purchasing a tremendous amount of amphibian tanks which came completely faulty and inoperable, yet he still got away with all of the purchase commission, which was absurdly substantial.

3 - No tank or gear at all the ministry of defence purchases, ever gets used in anything and slowly rusts away in depots until another fake purchase buys more of them for no reason

4 - The army is severely insufficient - not only lacking in numbers, because nobody wants to work there and people already working there have been employed so long they are all officers now - but we also don't meet even the basic international standards and perform sub par on evaluations

5 - Our politicians are not only notoriously corrupt, but it's public knowledge and they actively brag about it on air

6 - The elected party leader is known for trying to implement Christianity in schools and to merge the state and the church into one fine union, most of his followers being subject to long sermons by priests who claim liberal views will end the world and the hope for youth is to bring back the dark ages

7 - The election billboards for this party all warned from immigrants and the like - like trump and Putin and Jong-il sat down and sketched the themes

8 - To ward off the migrants of the past years, they pulled a barbed wire alongside some of the border - not that it did any good at all and it was never cleaned up - it just sits there now, killing animals

9 - The elected guy is famous for prosecuting everyone who speaks against him. i think while my dad was still a journalist, he got sued something like nine times until finally they shut his newspaper down.

I didn't go vote because I hate these people, but I genuinely didn't think world is this crazy. These lunatics have been jumping onto the throne for the past 30 years, every time doing something terrible, getting removed, even going to prison for a while if they got caught with their hands in the cookie jar, then they got out and sued the government - and even after all this time, a 25% demos goes and votes them into power. I am starting to lean heavily into Socrat's theory that gen pop is to fucking dumb to make decisions. It's actually scary.

Sometimes I feel like the world is getting faster and faster away from me. Only way I can catch up is to be really mean to strangers on Internet. #ElectionResults...

Anyhoo, here's the forest poem from Insta.... (gotsta work on my cadence...)

 

My forest thoughts escape me now
I'm home, I'm fed and rested
But in the early breath of day
My forest was infested. (By me.)

I've sought out many secret spots
Be-known to mice and snails
The camera much crawling fought
In my pursuit of tales..

Aye, treasure mine, I hold you close, my cherished
These palaces of miniature
This universe of layerness
A shrine to all what's perished. 

Whence adulate is my all say
The tender awe a-trickled
From this wet, fast, serpent's tongue
Of mine, and of my people

 I'll wait for you, I'll find you near
I swear to you this season
The seeds you send into despair
Will lead me back to reason

 You are not grave, you are not ill
Your monsters praise their hunger
The prey salutes the destitute
hollow free of hunters

 Ah, cherished mine in layered cake
The fairest of your poisons rally
Am I a mouse or tree or speck
Within your verdant alley?

 I'm majesty, I know for sure
So did declare this fair ol 'shroom
But who are we to argue her
When kissing her is certain doom?

Do you like me now? asked broken bough
Will I be spokes on wheel?
Or will you burn me hot or craft me bent
Into un-forresty appeal?



 

Aww, I asked the General if he would mind if I signed up on a lesbian dating site to get some correspondence going, and he said: Yes, I do mind, you're married and at the moment it is not to a lesbian...

Is it weird his territorial restrictions totally turn me on right now? Adorable little Nazi pug :D

I think I may have been bitten by mosquitoes forty times. I am not joking. Those as I can see, my legs and arms, stomach and hips ... Dozens of spots. I'm cursing the overpriced fucking lemongrass all-natural grapefruit spray, but praising the 'soothing after sting' spray... everything itches. Everything. Like I had fucking measles. Like someone kicked me and I rolled into nettles.

Love, Simon

For some reason I'm watching Love, Simon - a coming-of-age movie about a cute teen kid whose big secret is *drumroll!* ... he's gay. Normally I would fucking hate a premise like that, because I antagonise teenagers and secrets and gays (except for the bit where I miss being a teenager, am gay and live a double life I really enjoy. But other than that.) I had a dream about it - a sequence of character arches coming to a closure of people either telling their circle their secret or some sort of closure (the strangest of which was two FBI agents setting the arrest of a picnic in which it turns out all the white-picket-fence families with elder 'aunts' actually treat those elder women as slaves. Don't ask. It's because of the L.Cohen line from Everybody knows: ... the deal is rotten, Old Black Joe still picking cotton for your ribbons and bows...

Long story short, I'm watching this teenage drama shit and I absolutely love how it's done. I haven't seen a teenage angst movie so devoid of pathos since The Edge of Seventeen. It's like Juno. It's adorable. 

Though dad declared a few days back his feet hurt too much to go mushroom hunting, he was roused by what mum and sis brought back and so today I snatched G's old SUV and grabbed dad and off we went, hayyoo. I wanted to open the season by combing the 'Belfry' hill, which mum said was too crowded. (It's a popular mushroom-hunting hill indeed.) He wanted anything but, so we drove around it and then parked in a tight niche of a forest road with an ascend as steep as a wall. Dad found some, but most were old and worm-y. After an hour or so, we got on top of that ascend to find ourselves on a meadow of an old, but renovated and most adorable small farm. I was so thirsty I rang their doorbell, eh, nobody was home. According to the GPS, we were half an hour away from the Belfry top. Based on an old wives' tales, if there's thunder, schroomies will jump out, once we actually got to the originally proposed stage, we found tons of tiny, new, fresh, worm-free little penny buns, and chanterelles. Circling until I could no longer walk and carry my stacked basket, we walked and walked and walked. Then we walked for another hour plus to descend the unfamiliar hillside, taking chances on unfamiliar short-cuts or wide roads. And then I took half an hour to find the damn car. I was so thirsty (normally we don't stray from the car for more than an hour and keep relocating, so of course my bag stayed in the trunk) I nibbled on the half-ripe blueberries I could find, scarce and tiny, like a desperate goat. The air was unusually unpleasant - it was not hot at all, yet we were soaked and mosquitoes chased me despite the spray. But all in all an excellent morning. The day would have been perfect if i could have ice-cream for dinner, but I was too sleepy to insist we go out, though the yummyness of Polonca's pistachios haunts me even as I write this :D

Wrote a forest poem to go with the pickies on Insta. Just stressin' what a nice forest day it was :p

Aaaar, my comp died momentarily! I am so wingless without it! Well, the screen turned reddish and then black and I thought Ah, fikkish, there goes the screen. Or the graphics. Hopefully not the main drive. In the end, after a load of shuffling components around, it turns out it was the stupid screen cable. It hadn't even occurred to me that a cable can die. Nuts :D 

Yesterday we spent the whole day ... I don't know the word for it, but 'pouring honey'. That's not a metaphor, it's literally: G and his da were taking out the honeycombs (nigh 50 hives times ten honeycombs), Rockstar and Jan, the other cousin, were bringing them to the workplace (behind closed doors, because we'd be invaded otherwise), myself and brother-in-law were combing the wax off the top to open the honey cells and G's ma used centrifuge to get the honey pouring. Delicious honey, too, I couldn't stop licking it. I mean, everything was sweet and sticky, EVERYTHING in their house that day. Poor G got stung, despite the hasmat-looking suit, in the face and the knee. The knee one hurts like embers and the face one makes him look like Azog completely :D His eyes are tiny green peas and his forehead is huge :D He has not a single wrinkle on the entirety of his head :D :D :D Like botox gone terribly wrong :D He resents me from laughing every time I see him :D

This morn I woke early to see what I can do about the Pokemon gyms, pissed off the other day that all were the wrong colour and I had no chance to turn them - heavy hitters all - and even if I did, some moron would just kick me out after minutes, as alone I was simple enough prey. The guys on Discord assured me I'm free to turn gyms if they hold more than three, so I offed on the other side of the city to battle through the monastery yard. Twenty minutes later, almost succeeding, a glitch suddenly charged every last one of gym-stationed Pokies back to full health all across the map. I though I will burn down the damn cloister. But it was funny. An hour later, as I go home, the healths of all gym-stationed Pokies began to subside to their normal before-glitch numbers. The Gods of Pokemon were quite clearly fucking with me :D

It was before six as I set out, my neighbour agreeing to go on a short hike at 8am, and I turned four. Back at the cloister, the Pokie of my first daily gym returned, baring 4 coins. I checked: the Monument of War and Peace... Dog in one hand, camera in the other, like the lady from Kung Fu Hustle in flip-flops, I charged across the town. I was THIS close to renaming the Pokie: WHICH PART OF LEAVE THEM IN FOR AT LEAST 8 HOURS ESCAPES YOU?!, but I just kicked out the enemy Pokie with one coin to his name instead. 

Then we went of a hike and I got three ticks. Bees and ticks and kittens, oh my! Real-world Pokies galore!

The instagram feed :) -->