Tuesday, 3 March 2015

Changed the fucking tire on the car… It would have been a 10 minute job if the spare wasn’t a bogey and I had to drive around, getting the whole thing replaced. Dad helped with driving me around, but then again his story about how he waits for Sundays when mum has her bathtub hour (reading and candlelight and simply just chillaxing time) to secretly make himself sausages dinner was a reward on its own.
General’s sis and I finished with restoring the beehives, so I’m in a bit of a quiet zone for a few days. I have a few smaller tasks coming up, while mostly thinking about Goose’s structure. Ursula Le Guin’s thank-you speech threw me a little. I’ve been thinking so long, for over a year now, about how to make it traditionally consecutive, regarding build up and chapters. Then it hit me: fuck traditional. Invent a new format. You’re a fiction author for Pete’s sakes.
The other day a girl I was interested in gave me her number and I’ve been having romantic/sexy dreams since. I dreamt within dreaming today, that I was helping a young Angelina Jolie (And I fucking hate Angelina Jolie), a heiress in some sort of distress, fend off some villains. This was a plot which I was audibly narrating, so when I woke up from one dream, I was still dreaming. It made me realize I haven’t written a romance in a decade. There are no romantic stories in my repertoire. It’s either deep friendship or blatant hardcore sex. There’s never romance. Something to think about.
Another thing I’ve been going over and over, even though mostly I am working on “Sophie’s Choice” part of the book, is a night-time lasting a lifetime. I’ve mentioned this before, but I am still on it. So far it is one of the strongest parts of the second chapter. I’m also wondering what the strongest part of the third should be and if ‘Veris’ play is anything to go by, it is the final confrontation between Kay and Morphei, interrupted and utterly looped by the birth of Kestrel’s little one.
Today was a day incredible in sky. The clouds were ridiculously playful. Many of such I have never seen before – a thin layer of cirrus’ was literally spread thin by the rotation of the planet and it looked a like an endless comb, as geometrical as can be. On the other side of the sky commuli looked like chubby anvils and when dad and I drove to the countryside to get the spare, in one moment a foggy field glowed in contrast to a dark forest background and a church in shadow’s roof gleamed with moisture like glass. Truly spectacular sights. 18 days till the end of photo-diet.
Watching Covert affairs, wondering if being a secret agent is something fun. There's certainly a lot of traveling and role-playing. I have very little moral fibre, so I wouldn’t have to worry about dirty secrets of clandestine operations done by people who often turn out to be worse than the people you’re fighting.. But on the minus side, I look stupid in a top hat, so.. Makes you wonder why people bother playing these spy games, as if truth really was anything any of them has ever heard of or even cared about. I suppose it keeps the paranoid busy and employed. People who know such things do state that you simply need a shady side to every society, or people never acquire a sense of control needed for proper function.
Mostly, I want to make myself read for an hour every day. (I saw a BookTube episode in which the cute hostess mentioned how much she reads and I felt terrible, but then I checked out the titles of her choice and felt okay again. I am the last person to discriminate between books, but there's airport no-brainers and there's Marquez. there is no way you can read more than a handful of pages of the later.) And I will. Once spring comes. I will start sleeping less and reading more. And mayhap going on a lot more treks, especially if I go into a relationship with a younger woman. Those tend to be quite energetic… Which I can always stop to shoot if I run out of arguments. Everything is more fun when you’re allowed to photograph things :D