Hm. May be time to change my blog mask?

    .....let's see...

Salt

Although not my first choice (but unfortunately the only one this week), the super-skinny new-nose Angelina, whose mouth looks like it's about to fall off at any time, delivers a perfectly watchable popcorn performance - stressing the popcorn part. The movie wasn't dull, albeit painfully predictable, and it would make sense she's paid ten times as much as anyone else, considering she's got 90% of screen time. I liked her husband and his spiders, and how in the church when things go boom, all the high ranking army officials shield the president with themselves. That's high ranking patriotism, that is. If someone shot our president, I think my first thought would be: get your stupid brain off my gorram shoes, dick.I also liked the stealing bit. I still need to suppress my urge to steal entirely, viewing it no longer as an exclusive emotional ride but reasonably  (General's hard logic rubs on me :s) - something that besides fun offers precious little and yet can jeopardize too much. The most crucial factor is, that because in fear of disappointing the General, I am a coward. No thief should worry about consequences of being caught. Then you better don't be a thief. And watching Going Postal kind of kicked in my gut. But I do have to mind myself all the time, badly. Just like swearing profusely in jest, this is also in my blood :P

Haha - WHY watching movies like this is so hard on General and me? Example: when she takes her "emergency" backpack, she even had explosives packed, but NOT running shoes? Seriously? She continues to run around in high heel boots? Okay, I know it's just a movie and the running shoes would look ridiculous on her, but come one. It's the first thing you put on. Good shoes are half the victory. And she was still a sociopath. TRAINED into something and she still shot all her 'brothers' because of new found patriotism for US? A trigger-happy killer, but against global war? A double-agent to the core, but in love with her husband/mark? Make up your friggin mind. And, training and adrenaline aside, NOBODY a) walks upright after that kind of beating a b) has THAT kind of flawless hair-do, coming out of an Asian prison. I went to an Asian *vacation* and my hair didn't look that neat. 

           

A perfect day

Perfectly spent (birthday) day: Rise and shine, check. Pee. Check. Put on some clothes so I don't frighten the neighbors. Checked-to-be. Take the dog down to poo. Take the camera along to the mail office, because the pale morning light in that east-west street is so pretty these days. Buy a wheatty bun for a Poli and margarine sandwich. Eat it. Finish the retouching on the ten to-be-framed pickies and take them down to the frame shop. (Dog along). Looking cool. Get some photographs done. Ask if they print on paper and have the teacher's poster made. NOT spend the money on cloth, because the dog needs to go to puppy school, but whatever is left, take the gang to Evropa for pies. Beg for the apple cake recipe/examine it and spy sneak steal it :P Shopping with the ancestors. Call Luka. Movies with the General, a TON of popcorn! :D Evening walk with a camera (and everybody else, too, obviously.) and McDonald's ice-cream Daim. Full moon. (On the sky, not me after I've eaten all this...) An hour or so of Warcraft, then another two of having my hair caressed and shoulders tickled, then sleepy time. Good dreams. 

That was the plan :) It went almost exactly to it, except that they didn't get the photos right , didn't catch the parents and I didn't have Daim :D Do have a tummy ache from all the beyond-yummy-food, though  :D

Mum asked if the General bought me any flowers and jewelry for birthday. Aw, mum, don't you know me by now? He bought me WAY better: a touch-pen tablet and Gamecard!!

Birthday resolutions:

- not be so easily sucked into negative emotion all the time

- work more and work even more than that.. Then some more. AND FINISH!

- find something for Pat to want to import

- by the end of the year, try to produce ANOTHER 50 items, such as graphic designs and stuff

- have another exhibition, maybe?

- try to get the third book out! (the Tree Timeline..)

- Mark?

Simple enough agenda :))

B-Day today, but the party isn't until Sunday. Got some pressies already. Dog is chewing on one right now :P
Should be a delightful day today ;)

The Karate Kid

Watched the new Karate Kid. Considering I was such a fan of the original, I expected much worse... But I thought the cast was adorable! The micro Will Smith is a total scene stealer, Jackie is wonderful, the little Chinese people are scary and Dre's mum's a blast. I thoroughly enjoyed it, even if it wasn't the peak of modern cinematography. The hints about Cinese being better than Americans were lovely. Only bit that confused me was - isn't it considered abuse to make children main one another like so? Unprotected fighting? I thought that's child molesting? Guess not.

Really cool bits... "Dre?.... PICK UP YOUR JACKET!?"
               "Your focus needs more - fucus."
                                                   "Attitude!"

I can't believe the General bought me the G-Pen tablet for birthday.. That's so surreal. And I am angry at myself for not being able to use it yet, the anti-techno dummy that I am. And in dire awareness I'm going to require a better monitor at some point. It may come higher on the list than the Mark even. I have to learn how to handle my proofs without wasting the printer's time. My own master... :) One giant step closer. :D

I've made a B-day resolution, though... I have to re-acquire some form of patience. I have to stop being so damn hysterical all the time and allow my emotions to just pour out whenever they bubble. At least the ugly ones. That's why I'm now actively making these mental changes:

1) I will no longer swear so profusely and will for a while to my best ability use only curse words: Chicken, Duck!! (Don't ask. Long story. But we were playing poker and kids were present...)

2) Every time I feel myself getting a) angry b) impatient c) blatantly psychopathicly neurotic, I will say to myself above all: do I really want to soil General's day? That man loves me so much and I am such an arsehole..

3) Work every day to become a more profitable artist and be able to buy the General nice things... Like Levi's jeans.. and a car.

Emotionally extorting little fuck O.o

Today was a nightmare. It made me want to never had kids, ever, at all.
            They were four, ages four, six, eight and eleven. For once, the General's son was positively a blessing and a real help. And the eight year old was lovely.. But the toddlers. At first no matter what I did, the youngest behaved like a socially impaired retard. Couldn't play, couldn't speak. I was half way to giving up on him, because everything i said, General spoke against me in front of others and my efforts were watered down. It took us literally hours to get the kid to say anything and contribute to the games, but of course all that was lost when I tried to teach him a lesson for breaking a glass (I wanted him to apologize to the glass he broke and would keep him in my lap and wouldn't have him go to his mommy), but he instantly started screaming and crying and the mommy instantly grabbed him away from me, saying people were staring at me, because I was trying to strangle the kid.
             Riiiiiiight. Holding a kid steady in my lap is suddenly near fatal torture. Why the fuck would I ever care to bother with him again? Have him break and disrespect things then, all over. Not my fucking issue, is it?
            But the positively worst part happened at lunch, when the play was interrupted over yummy food and we were all excitedly having pancakes, with wild strawberries jam. Everything seemed fantastic and wonderful and couldn't be better. The six and eight year old were going to be collected by their parents in an hour and up until then we were having a great time. All were laughing. No signs of a meltdown. Yet the six year old suddenly started sobbing and choking. He just stopped eating and cried and then took another pancake. And then he proceeded stuffing the entire pancake into his mouth slowly and surely, until he could no longer breathe. The General had to clean his mouth and then wash it and then get the kid to function again, but the kid wouldn't stop sobbing until an hour later he was taken to his parents (I completely freaked and would have broken the fucking diner table, I was so shocked and angry and disappointed, but instead I just put on my headphones and logged out of this world and into another, wanting nothing the fuck to do with those fucking parasites anymore.) Best General could get out of him was to say he misses his mommy and daddy.
             FUCK THE FUCKING INFANTS AND THEIR FUCKING PSYCHOTIC FUCK-UPS.
             Never, and I mean never again do I want another child to waste a single second of my time. Going head over heels, trying to make them feel good. Not drawing lessons, not doggy walks, not my pancakes, not a single fucking thing. Never fucking again, the confused, ungrateful, emotionally blackmailing, spoiled, leeching little morons. They gain everything, I gain nothing and if after two days of running around, feeding, entertaining, babysitting them, they try to choke themselves because they miss their real  mommy, then never again dare express the desire to come stay in my house. Never again dare say you want to play with my toys. My house no longer suffers the onslaught of endless, broad spectrum, pathological greed.