Saturday, 14 August 2010

Today was a nightmare. It made me want to never had kids, ever, at all.
            They were four, ages four, six, eight and eleven. For once, the General's son was positively a blessing and a real help. And the eight year old was lovely.. But the toddlers. At first no matter what I did, the youngest behaved like a socially impaired retard. Couldn't play, couldn't speak. I was half way to giving up on him, because everything i said, General spoke against me in front of others and my efforts were watered down. It took us literally hours to get the kid to say anything and contribute to the games, but of course all that was lost when I tried to teach him a lesson for breaking a glass (I wanted him to apologize to the glass he broke and would keep him in my lap and wouldn't have him go to his mommy), but he instantly started screaming and crying and the mommy instantly grabbed him away from me, saying people were staring at me, because I was trying to strangle the kid.
             Riiiiiiight. Holding a kid steady in my lap is suddenly near fatal torture. Why the fuck would I ever care to bother with him again? Have him break and disrespect things then, all over. Not my fucking issue, is it?
            But the positively worst part happened at lunch, when the play was interrupted over yummy food and we were all excitedly having pancakes, with wild strawberries jam. Everything seemed fantastic and wonderful and couldn't be better. The six and eight year old were going to be collected by their parents in an hour and up until then we were having a great time. All were laughing. No signs of a meltdown. Yet the six year old suddenly started sobbing and choking. He just stopped eating and cried and then took another pancake. And then he proceeded stuffing the entire pancake into his mouth slowly and surely, until he could no longer breathe. The General had to clean his mouth and then wash it and then get the kid to function again, but the kid wouldn't stop sobbing until an hour later he was taken to his parents (I completely freaked and would have broken the fucking diner table, I was so shocked and angry and disappointed, but instead I just put on my headphones and logged out of this world and into another, wanting nothing the fuck to do with those fucking parasites anymore.) Best General could get out of him was to say he misses his mommy and daddy.
             Never, and I mean never again do I want another child to waste a single second of my time. Going head over heels, trying to make them feel good. Not drawing lessons, not doggy walks, not my pancakes, not a single fucking thing. Never fucking again, the confused, ungrateful, emotionally blackmailing, spoiled, leeching little morons. They gain everything, I gain nothing and if after two days of running around, feeding, entertaining, babysitting them, they try to choke themselves because they miss their real  mommy, then never again dare express the desire to come stay in my house. Never again dare say you want to play with my toys. My house no longer suffers the onslaught of endless, broad spectrum, pathological greed.