Wednesday, 16 February 2011

I've earned/saved up some money to get my ears finally properly pierced, the way I always portray myself having them pierced, but of course I made it only as far as the first art supplies shop and spent all the money on a set of Faber-Castel brush-point pens. I wouldn't have done it so quickly if I didn't happen to be tuning my brain onto projects for Drej, going over and over the Amano artwork, oh so delicate and busy while elegant at the same time... I know his medium is watercolor and plain color pencil, but... I love my new gain.


Not to mention I love the Fissshies!!! Yes, I finally got my Koi pants :D :D :D  And you know what? Fissshies are an excellent way to feel like you're naked while looking real good at the same time :D



Oh, and also - I am officially a jewel thief :D Only iPod Shuffle owners would know better.


The Hermit Kingdom

I've watched a ridiculously retarded documentary about North Korea. I cannot believe how dumb and malicious some people are - and they get air time. I'm embarrassed National Geographic sponsored the thing.
           The documentary is by some intrepid female journalist who manages to stick a camera crew to a doctor going to help people with eye cataract removal in North Korea. They use spy cameras to film the streets and the monuments and the people, constantly narrating how terrible the place is and how evil the leader and how terrorized the people and how horrid conditions that their medical and school system is in.
            Seriously, at this point I would shake Kim Jong-il's hand if I met him in a hallway.
            "The worst human rights violation in human history..."
            Yes. Because there has never been any wrong doing in American civil wars or at all on American civil soil *cough*slavery?!*cough*. There has never been a nasty civil unrest in any African country, which is for all intents and purposes a paradise on Earth? Nobody ever made Spain and Catalonia a bad place to be in at some point and there was never any such thing as an Gulags in Russia? OrMuslims? In Tehran?
             People seem to be blissfully unaware, or simply never bothered to pay attention during primary school history classes, that one the other side of every communistic regime, there is always - FEUDAL era. For those impressed by iPads and Chunky Monkey ice-cream - feudal era means 95% of people are so poor that they at times need to eat their own children to survive, and are birth-to-death defined by their status, whereas 5% are drowning in wealth and get all the privileges, which they then abuse and maltreat in pathological greed for supremacy. Born in a feudal time, a woman would have been a grandmother by the age she now finishes college and the only happines she would ever be able to find would be if she was lucky in marriage with a good spouse and a small farm with a goat somewhere. There would be/was not ANY education, health system or legal clemency for those 95%.
            Then along comes a wacky dictator. I have seen this happen with my own eyes in the case of former Moroccan king, for example, a typical communistic monarch, as ironic as that sounds. The same thing happened with Castro in Cuba, Mao in China and the Kims in Korea (not to mention the French a bit of a time ago.). It has also of course happened to my homeland with Tito. (Also a much beloved dictator who set remarkable foundation for a well established country that we now managed to fuck up in less than 2o years of independence.) They swept away the rich and the powerful with one brutal wave, and said: EVERYONE deserves a chance. Born the poorest of the poor, female, whatever, deserves schooling and medical care and legal system benefits. And a job and whom they chose to marry. If you try to sabotage this vision, sorry mate, no time for lazy, mean or greedy creeps now. Off with your head.
             Of course the American documentary stresses one magnificently idiotic fact: that there is very little of everything - that hospitals are very poor and that the economy is yet to take off... Funny how Americans seem to think that a poor country is an evil country. Like, they've brought this onto themselves for banishing the internet! Has anyone ever seen Nepal? Their Royal Palace is more poorly built than an average American barn - but that does not make it an evil, or ugly or at all an unhappy place. Nepalese people are some of the happiest I've ever met! I loved the line: "It is not true health care in N. Korea is free: there simply isn't any!" That's an excellent line coming from an American. Jealous much? I seem to recall another documentary in which people who cannot afford health care in the US are left to lye in the street?
            Without the dictator, without the fear, people cannot focus. They cannot go from being farmers and slaves to aristocracy and clergy  into being normal, independent individuals. Of course when you look at one man now, he suffers, but when you look at a nation, perhaps in 50 or a hundred years, it can go from the dark ages to what Singapore and Hong Kong are now. It takes time, it isn't easy, but that's how it happens. The Kims had to do it all alone - they had very little support, nobody ever just gave them anything. But they said: schools, clinics, police protection, no more status shunning, no more gender shunning... They may not be shiny and posh, but they are trying. The state of mind that we, who have done this before or who never had to do it, because we just invaded some nice place and killed all the natives away, have now, is a product of cultural evolution. People so easily forget not the whole world was glorious Vienna 300 years ago. N. Korea is nowhere near a happy place to want to own an Mp3 player, but it is on the fast (their famous) 12-lane highway to being an actual 21.century country to be.
           Shame on them for not having fast food restaurants and beauty pageants! Shame! Honestly!

Sunday, 13 February 2011

Ai No Kusabi

I came across one of those hefty yaoi mangas that I haven't been interested in since I nearly killed myself, watching Cawboy Bebop. It's called Ai No Kusabi and it's a super dark, tragic and more than a little in-your-face tale of caste discrimination and undiluted love, disguised as pure hatred. It's basically about people being separated by their genetic predisposition and in such a way their hair color speaks for them. The fairest are the elite and the dark haired ones are scum. The elites may take 'pets', often teenagers from the gutter and tame them for sex slaves. Well, one of the popular elites takes a gang leader that takes ages to tame and then kind of plays him for the psychological cat and mouse in which it's hard to tell who's the sadist ad who the masochist. Truth is, one does painfully love the other, just has no opportunity to make that a good thing. Ultimately the pet is kidnapped by the jealous gang member and castrated to be set free of the 'pet ring' that chains him and the elite owner gets a leg amputated in a rescue attempt. They die by inhaling poison intentionally and together, to the shock and grief of people who knew them.
           Like I said, it's ridiculously sad. The sex scenes are a might powerful. But there is no was I would watch it start to end, no matter how good I know it is. Knowing that Spike and Vicious die together also turns my heart to a stepped on bunch of grapes.


To have sex with Sepp or not have sex with Sepp... That is the pickle now.

Am in a bit of a creative pickle. Yestereve the kids were watching Mtv and two consecutive songs on a chart that kind of got to me, kicked me in a eerily creative mood. First one is screamy and whiny, but has this good line with a good backbeat to it - Bruno Mars's Granade - for a pivotal moment in the hero's life, when he realizes she's been right all the time and it's time to do something about it, because this is the woman he is literally willing to die protecting; and Adele's Rolling in the deep, which I think is brilliant and the video is sublime and finally we get a good singer that's not anorexic and screechy.
        So, I have a clash of two powerful (pivotal, if you will) scenes in the second part of the book. Last night I wrote how Sepp decides virtually in mid-step to switch sides of allegiance and  goes get Gorgo, who's in class, arms them both and proceeds to bring down the entire school. This silent, sudden cooperation between them is that much more powerful, because they go from being an instructor and a student of an impressive institution, to being two people that are better than that and they disclose the institution for what it really was. It's how the second chapter ends and then the last one begins, as they are already less prone to attaching themselves to authority. 
         HOWEVER. This scene, for all it's charged allegiance and trust, stands this strong ONLY if the two never couple beforehand. Problem is, the way they finally have sex for the first time is also my most powerful sex scene of any book. It's taken them years to get to here and now I have to either deny them this one good time, making their love story angsty thorough the entire span, or I have to find another way. 
         Man do I love literary challenges :D



Saturday, 12 February 2011

Road trip to K. Bistrica (... Stoney Springs, if you will, only way more lyrical.)

Starbark as co-pilot, we set off today for our first road-trip in EONS. The weather was wintery indeed, but other than that, everything was flawless. A beautiful weekend ride, a mesmerizing scenery, loads of inspiration, planning, plotting and scheming all out future suchlike enterprises. how could we not, with those awesome mountains around us? Hm. What is it about mountains that inspires people so? Oceans I could gather, as we all originated from them, but tall rocks? You see one massive ugly cold hardship and all you can think about is how to get on top. And over.

 The magnificent trap of Alps. This is not the place where you want to end up on a tiresome run...
 The King Alexander hunting cottage, designed by Plečnik, our most talented and praised architect.
 The beasts and the beauties.
 The goulazh with the mandala in the back...




 Jaka's crib ;)
 Barky managed once again to make herself rest like a lamb, tied like a sausage. but by now, if I leave her long enough, she gets bored of waiting to be rescued and just untangles herself.
 The magic kingdom.
 The finishing touch. :)
              We stopped and ate in one of the rural taverns, being served by a kind waitress, friendly cooks and delicious food. This is quite worrisome, as the waiters in the town usually seem like you're bothering them and they're only nice if they already spat into your soup.
   

Poor General, it can't be easy on him, knowing that when the shitstorm hits, he could walk home and I could be chainsawing an old ugly bed, after I've just poured a bag of concrete into the toilet. I am not CrankY when I'm having my period, I'm a frigging Kraken. But at least I am never boring.
          But we went onto a nice late lunch and then a chilly, nice walk with the river all filthy (heh. heh heh.) and oil stain swimming by, some dead fish and one black swan. Not too fond of swans, as they tend to bite and chase you, in that order, but this one was still dark, so he was young and nice. No idea how he got here, though. Amazing how such a large bird can fly. Ah, well. That day's done. Today I'm off to a road trip. I pray the weather will be lovely, otherwise we're fracked.


Friday, 11 February 2011

Minor panic attack. Then again I AM heavily medicated....

Mikro panic attack today, due to filth. Must have broken a dozen appliances and myself. Not saying I'm not super phobic about dirt, but phobia means 'groundless fear' and this is anything but groundless. This fucking apartment is so old that no matter how I try to clean it, it makes zero difference. I can scrub the floors *twice*, right on my knees and the moment it dries and someone walks over it, small clots of dust and hairballs pop right up and start gathering around ... everything.There is also of course the cast dust, that if you try to wash, becomes smeared chalk tracks on pretty much everything, and the dishes that everybody uses and nobody ever washes in my ancient, disgusting tiny little sink. For a moment I was standing over the pile, thinking I should just take a club and smash it all and then toss it. Could also do that with the disgusting linens on the bed that everybody's been using to get to the high parts of the construction and is now less clean than puke - but of course if I try to change it, I ruin another set. Doesn't help if things are protected - this IS protected. Dust EVERYWHERE, so thick it cannot be wiped, it can only be washed, and no access to wardrobes, because the tools are left everywhere (we are not talking hammers and nails but machines the size of me),  and so if I put clean things onto anything, it gets a) knocked over, b) touched or bumped by dirty things and c) messed around about while someone is looking for something else. Corners have been gathering greasy filth for 180 years, they practically SPAWN more of it. And I have to sit in this shit cage for 12 hours, alone, while people only make more mess. Taking a shower is something to do with your eyes closed so you don't see what has become of the already gruesome bathroom now that dirty stuff is just tossed in the proximity of the linens basket (and I'm not talking about used panties or slightly sweaty shirts. That's *pristine* by comparison.)  There is just no way to get to all the floor and banish it. Drop a hair pin and when you pick it up again, it has human hair, dog hair, dust, filth and bits of cast stuck to it.
         This is after I have swept, vacuumed and washed everything I could reach. I dropped a pin, picked it up and had a fit.

Thursday, 10 February 2011

PS   Can we please get more of Dev Patel?