Friday, 9 July 2010

LoL.. I actually dreamt I was about to be slaughtered by redneck canibals...

How exactly I got myself into that mess I don't know, but a young guy and me were being taken to some small farm on a rim of some small village a little bit up in the hills - otherwise a very idyllic, picturesque scenery. We were just pushed into a pig sty and considering mama redneck was just slaughtering one of the pigs and son redneck #3 was making sausages from freshly washed small intestine, the guy and I could pretty much tell what was going on.
      For two days we were kept and they threw food at us and demanded we eat everything. There were five or six people - three sons to a couple and the father's brother or friend or something. I think they were even bargaining about selling me or us to a further customer. Oddly enough, as absurdly horrific our situation was, I could not bring myself to be particularly desperate. Nor did I feel like I need to rescue the guy, whose condition was rapidly deteriorating. Best I could do was lead by example.
      I used one hand to eat some food so as not to get too weak, but I used the other to shove the rest under the old pig shit and thus hide it. I did a lot of squats, running on the spot and, as much as I could, sleeping. On the third day some other people came, most of them with hunting rifles (but I noticed they are buck shots and thus used mostly for overall close range) and we were taken back towards the woods and the cars. I was considering hitting or stabbing someone and thinking if perhaps I'll be lucky enough for an opportunity to present itself and give me a head start, but I knew, from Rincewind's doctrine, that running is something you start at any given time and don't stop for anything. If things will happen to you, they'll catch up on you of their own inspiration. You just run.
       Hoping the guy will do the same, and hoping he'll get far enough to save himself, I simply charged into the shrubbery, blindly, almost hysterically and apathetically at the same time pushing people off, falling, rolling, running again, hearing gunfire, angry shouts, some drunken laughter, lots of pursuit and constantly wondering if maybe I've already been shot and the adrenaline decided to keep that detail from me. But I found enough strength (cheers to doggy walking..) to run uphil and then across a clearing, throwing myself around a lot, using the terrain's mementum, avoiding bullets. For some reason, somehow, I was getting enough maneuvering advantage to get to a road and chose to follow it, telling myself now is really not the time to be out of shape. I actually hated remembering the first rule of Zombierland: Cardio. In the back of my mind I was also very glad Starbark was not with me at the time of abduction, because she would have slowed me down but I couldn't simply leave her behind. Dog meat is as good as man meat.
      I reached a village, and was very careful about (not) being seen. For all I knew villagers were all on their side. In the center there was some sort of a happening and firemen and officials were celebrating something and I saw that the guy imprisoned with me was here also, dirty and breathless like me, hiding behind the fire fighter's building (the only official building and used for any old purposes.). We paired up to find some clothes and were noticed by a family, which turned out to be okay. They took us in and allowed us to wash and gave us normal food and water. But there wasn't anyone we could call yet. In fact so far in the dream nobody was really speaking. There was a nice girl in the family and the guy, though still in shock, found some comfort by socializing with her. A moment came, however, when they, too, were slaughtering pigs and he just lost it. He made such a ruckus that our pursuers heard about us and came looking. I fled again, this time more carefully, ultimately ending up in an old woman's house in a village further up the hills, but also closer to the city, which lay behind the ridge..
         She was very nice and the house was bright and homely, although small and poor and it was the sort of place I could easily see myself being adopted into. She also had a daughter and we talked a lot, cooking, fixing about the place and selling some garden veggies on Saturday. I even told them what's happened to me, but the old lady didn't believe me - she said they wouldn't have eaten me, they would probably just want to marry me to one of their inbred sons, but she was sure it must have looked like cannibalism to me. The way she said it made me doubt what really happened and I thought perhaps she was right. But I never for one second let down my guard.
        The dream ended with the arrival of the old woman's second daughter, who was almost albinous and blind, but as radiant and pretty as the house. And happy too, for she was thrilled about having a house guest and a friend. I intuitively made noises for her to feel more relaxed around me, hoping it would not seem condescending. I told her what happened to make me come here, but she didn't think it entirely as bad either.
       Then I just woke up. Feeling kind of rejuvenated, really. Outrunning crazed hunter redneck cannibals and finding new friends, all in one run. :p