Wednesday, 27 October 2010

from Helen Mirren to Machete, movies update

Okay, sorry, I know that sex and sex related jokes are totally last millennium, but come on. As "any self respecting stalker of Helen Mirren" would say: "Who says Hollywood is out of ideas? Obviously they haven't seen this picture of Helen Mirren giving Russell Brand the old "rub & tug" on the set of Arthur. In fact, seeing a geriatric Mirren giving Brand a bathtub HJ is the most original thing I've seen in weeks, and mind you, I watch Bravo daily. The only question is how is Hollywood going to top this? Chances are we'll see Betty White giving an "Asian massage" to the wolf-boy from Twilight sometime soon. "Team Jacob" indeed!".................
             Even the prudes got to admit - that IS icky/funny :D
             But I love Helen Mirren. Okay, I hate her for having a better body at 105 than I ever had, but she is so beyond 'British dame' it's scary. Dignified, elegant, ice-queen, oh yes... But her character in Red, shooting off a 2k cannon machine gun in a parking garage while wearing a silk dress and army boots? Seriously... As kinky as I may be, that scene made my day. 
             Have you seen the weather around here lately??
            She even beats John Malkovich, who isn't easily beatable, not really.


I also watched Malkovich in Jonah Hex, which is kind of like Crow in Wild Wild West and liked the lot - thought it was kind of short. I am a fan of long movies, otherwise it looks like they cut out all the best bits to preserve either the mindless violence or profound moments of inner turmoil with graphics. 
             Another movie I watched twice in a row, and liked both times( I am very fond of things nobody else seems to think much of), is one of the General's favorite pastime movies, Basic. That's kind of like General's Daughter and G.I.Jane and something Denzel Washington might have done, with Connie Nielsen in it. She's like Angelina Jolie with a higher pitched voice and less hair - though Connie I can actually watch without wincing. As boring and predictable as the movie is in grand scheme of things, and as some performances are perfectly lovely (poor Giovanni Ribisi, hehe. He sure can typecast), my honey and myself both just LOOOOOVE the ending. "We thought you handled yourself so well out there - we were gonna offer you a job." Love it. LUUV it :D  I've downloaded Demonlover to keep the thrill of the chase, but haven't really had the zeal to watch it yet. I'm sure there's a way to combine hentai and Connie Nielsen and make a bad experience to watch out of it and if anyone can do it it, it's the French.
 Johah Hex - very ugly men and very pretty girls - the highlights of the wild west that has nothing to do with Deadwood whatsoever :D
              And in the end, there's Machete. The tribute to B movies of the Mexican persuasion that really overshot. Haha. The Grindhouse team sure can shine their awe at the things that they grew up with. In short, it's adorable. It's not surprising that it's the first time Danny Treyo plays the lead, poor man, but he certainly gets his goods this time - not sure even James Bond had this much divine sex in his flicks :))
                In short - adorable :))