Tuesday, 8 May 2012

Ten reasons to see Avengers – heavy spoiler alert

1.    I would like Joss Whedon even if he directed Twilight (okay, maybe not Twilight), but he takes a very tricky material and makes it into an excellent two hour switch-your-brain-off popcorn aplenty event. He makes the most of his ensemble cast, portraying each of the individual characters to perfection, giving them all plenty face-time and still keeping an hour and a half for heavy duty explosions and fast-paced fights (and occasional unnecessary speech.).
2.      Very beautiful lead actress. Well, obviously all men and women in this film are very attractive, but I am not a fan of Paltrow whereas the lady playing Hill (some Smoulders) looks more like a model than an actress and I am not a fan of models being in movies either. On the other hand, Johansson is so very beautiful, it’s hard to keep focus on the dialogue.The threat Loki gives her, that he will have her raped to death by Hawkeye is super unpleasant.
3.     Some very, very hot men. Or cold, however you wanna see it. Of all the heroes, Hawkeye is my favourite, as he seems to keep very low profile and is good with a bow (can relate). No gay costumes or gadgets there. The main reason I went to see it though, of course, was Loki. I like the face (and the hair was so cool in this one, so ridiculously villain with fashion issues…) of Tom Hiddleston so much, I could stare at a spy cam of him being in that glass cell for days. When he snarls, when he smiles, when he raves, when he looks like he’s about to French-kiss his brother, he is perfect. I cannot imagine Loki looking any other way – those cold watery eyes, the thin lips of an uncomfortably large mouth (toooo many teeth O.o), slightly less anorexic than he had to be in Thor and just so much of a sickly, last-in-line-for-the-throne prince, he gives Joffrey a run for his money.
And of course the constant, nasty inferiority complex he oozes in his every move and manner: whereas Thor actually is an Asgardian, Loki is not at all – his father Farbauti may have been an ice giant, but Loki’s mum Laufey was human. He is the least godly of Norse gods. Although in legend his kids are kind of interesting. Not many Gods these days fuck wolves.
4.      The whole role of Hulk :D
Even as Dr. Banner, he is great. Mark Ruffalo plays him even better than Eric Bana. I loved the line: “That is my secret, Cap. - I am always angry.”
And then of course when he beats everyone who gives him five minutes of their time: even friends. When he and Thor land together after mission accomplished, he punches him through the building just because.
And when of course LOKI starts to spit and hiss like an angry kitten about his superiority, you have to see to understand why that scene nearly made me pee myself. That is such a fucking excellent scene! General warned me my precious Loki will get bitchsmacked in this film and I replied I certainly hope so – I paid good money to see it. Though I wasn’t expecting THAt :D Ragdoll! :D
5.      The machines. The sky fortress was lovely, but the evil alien fishy thingies were better :D And of course how Hulk handles them was also great.
6.      Agent Coulson. Very sad :( Though he is so funny when he waits for Natasha to pick up the phone again…
7.      The lines:   Bruce: … That guy’s brain is a bag full of cats. You can smell crazy on him.
Thor: I care how you speak. Loki is beyond reason, but he is of Asgard. And he is my brother!
Natasha: He killed eighty people in two days.
                        Thor: (admittedly) He is adopted.      
8.     Stuff unsaid: When Capt. America gives Nick Fury back the ten bucks. When cops turn and start following America’s previously (before he smacked several baddies into pieces) instructions…
9.    Some of very many Stark lines :) “Your mother wants her drapes back…” and the likes. Ouch.
10.  The issue of resolve. (/Conviction.) I am very fond of the issues of resolve.