Wednesday 2 May 2012

Weeping my brain out

The funny thing is, when I cry very hard, my legs start to cramp like crazy. Like, if I cry for hours, even if I take a nap in the middle, my head is pounding (if I scream during I get a bonus acid reflux as well, that doesn't subside for ages), my cheeks are burnt, my eyes are sore - the whole catalogue - but the amazing bit is my legs go nuts with rheumatism. They feel like I stood in ice water for an hour and then sat on my butt for a week...
I think God invented menstruation so that once a month women could cry lakes about all the stuff that's happened in the previous three and a half weeks: parents, finances, dead puppies, lovers' quarrels, that one sex that wasn't quite as timely as the others and it made me snappy, all the food I shouldn't have eaten, work anxiety, too hard a change in weather...
And then, after it's done, you know you have 7 days of clear skies ahead of you. Super trooper.

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