Sunday, 28 December 2014

It's a few days till the end of the fair and as my mental stability abandons me from wear, so does my health tip slowly. It's only a few days left. I will be fine. But fuck me sideways how much pain I'm in. My head is killing me and I haven't been able to have sex in five days. I cannot remember a time I would go five days without an orgasm. I'm tired and slipping. I run around half an hour with a camera and have a terrible need for sleep afterwards.

I've taken myself off FB for a while. I'm going to need silence and solitude for the weeks to come, to get my head on straight. Fans and potential customers can wait. I can see fairly clearly of what I want my quality to be, but as I observe the quality or lack thereof in others, I can also see the tricky slope ahead. Funny what a deep passion drives me and I don't even recall why I have fallen so in love with photography. It is one of the three constancies in life. Gods know I am in dire need of constancy. I am stability, I am loyalty. But I am also passionate far beyond reason. Even my own. Which is now almost dead.

First I need to rest. I need to reboot. I would love it if I could go a month without drama, but knowing myself, that will probably be a day. I just so happen to love drama. But seriously, I really need to rest and get myself healthy and sane again. If it gets known an orgasm almost exploded my head, where will my reputation as a crazy sex fiend be?