Sunday, 2 June 2013

F&F6 review, in a hurry

 What's good in it:

- the cars are very beautiful
- that tank was pretty awesome, even though it was fiction (M1A1 plus action movie makeup)
- every person was extremely beautiful and as always the most recommended liaison for the international police operation was a 22 year old underwear model
- I love seeing Antonov in any movie
- goes as well for Jason Statham
- Michele Rodriguez (or at least half of her, as she now seems to weight about as much as a daffodil.) She was lovely.
- LOL, Hobbs is called Samoan Thor :)))

What was good FOR the movie:

- Good thing the car population of Cayman Isles is only two cars (that would have been very disturbing driving to go see a baby born if there were three and one coming in the opposite direction.)
- Good thing the Tokyo/London population is devoid of any urban traffic and so used to high speed racing, two hundred people at a pedestrian crossing can simply step aside when a race car drifts through them at 300 km per hour
- Good thing all the characters have bones made of adamantium, because it would really hurt to fall down an entire flight of subway stairs, not to mention being hit in mid air by a cannoning 300 pound man's body - and you're a 100 pound girl. And then landing with the man on top.
- Good thing average airport runways are 60 kilometres long
- Good thing in this day and age 'might makes right' still applies in police interrogation
- Good thing people talk like this in real life. It would be kind of stupid otherwise.

What's really bad in it:

- Really really bad script. Consisting mostly of 'Dom and O'Connor race through the first scene for fifteen minutes'. 'Dom and O'Connor and Co. race through the next scene for fifteen minutes.'. 'Bitch fight/male.' 'Bitch fight/female.' 'Quo some semblance of joke.' 'Dom and O'Connor race the scene for fifteen minutes.' Rinse and repeat.
- acting. Minor exceptions, but mostly pretty godawful. Excellent driving, though.
- When the extra pretty ex-Mossad supermodel racing lady falls from the air plane to protect her Korean partner, in the end he's just kind of struck and sad about it... Wouldn't it be a remotely rational possibility to race back just to hold her.. Or you know, find her body just in case she landed on the grass, rolled and is still breathing?
- Collateral damage both human and automobile is quite tasteless
- Mocking the British guy for having hair on his chest. Yes, cause grown men with shaved armpits and waxed chests is that much more erotic.
- Laws of physics? Yes? No?
- tank on bridge
- people pointing guys at either entire police squad and/or entire army base
- a char gets shot in the shoulder with a Russian revolver and his body doesn't seem to notice at all.

And I actually like the scene in which the pretty blond ex cop lady tells her boyfriend to go look for his ex girlfriend, because both of them are perfectly aware that their lost loved ones were their true loves and this is just comfortable friendship. That I actually bought.

Don't ask.