Sunday, 22 April 2018

A Quiet place

Went to watch the well-spoken-of film with MyMaja, but yet again, I couldn't see what the fuck everyone was praising. The previous two movies - Ready Player One and Red Sparrow I had such low, negative expectations, I ended up feeling they were perfectly fine for two hours spent chewing popcorn (or at least a little better than their respective books). This was supposed to be some amazing piece of cinematography. Who rates this shit?

The premise is - monsters came and killed everyone (somehow), except for this one rural family with small children. Now, how nobody other than them managed to fight off slightly larger than humans rabid-dog-like insectoid aliens, I've no idea. Riddick killed one just like with bare hands. The people in Walking dead kill similar foes with bows and arrows. In Cloverfield Lane ten times the size creature like it is killed with a vodka Molotov. And, mind you, these are sound sensitive creatures, and nobody figures out loud or high pitched sound would hurt them? It takes a ten year old deaf girl after over a year?

The family, doing much of nothing all day but hanging laundry and conserving produce, live in the noisiest, least protected farmstead imaginable. Every time someone drops a pin, monsters come running. Even though they know mechanical repetitive noise like the waterfall bores them. But instead of making noise to convince the monsters it's noisy there, nothing to see, moving on, no - they plan to have a baby in a room soundproofed with newspapers and a mattress and she delivers it in a bathtub - luckily it's one of those babies who never makes a genuinely noisy sound.

The only lines spoken are about blaming themselves for losing a four year old to a toy. That's all they ever talk about. Whose fault was it. Meanwhile, complete radio silence on all frequencies, even though there are living neighbours or people passing through, and there's a scene with fire signals, which I did not get at all. can't use any of the cars left outside? You know electrical cars are extremely quiet, right? How about you relocate to a fucking lighthouse?

I'm not saying the acting wasn't great. Everyone looked good. Even the premise - last living family forced to exist in the noisiest fucking homestead - very curious. But the script was fucking retarded. They showed extreme close-ups of monsters to compensate for the fact nothing at all happens at any point in the film - the effect would have been A LOT better if you never saw what's really there like it was done in the first scene, and the family felt more paranoid than anything until you started to doubt if a monster is really there.. But no, claws and torn tin walls and close-ups of alien ears galore.

And meanwhile, in the real world, you have bishops and the like masturbating how wonderfully religious this film is, how pro-life, full of sacrifice and monastic silence and solitude. Because that is exactly what you ant in thw world riddled with fiends - suicide on every step. Those people are fucking insane.

Just dumb. Where are all the doomsday preppers? Where does their power come from? Who is running their water? Where does he get tons and tons of sand? Do creatures kill for fun or for food? Because killing everything for food within a year is slightly counter intuitive.

I didn't like anything about it. Like they were mocking the audience by boring them and with nonsensical, forced plot points. No matter how cute the 40000 red light bulbs they somehow managed to install without dropping one are.