Friday, 15 June 2012

Ape on the other side of the world...

Funny how quickly people grow accustomed to certain things. Today I woke up, gone to pee, brushed my teeth and braided my hair and for the first morning in a long time didn't have to go to the guest room and knock on the door, saying ‘ten minutes to doggie walk with Drej’. I mean, I went, but there was nothing there. Just an empty room, a depressing sight, really. 

I have known Ape for so long now that she’s an intricate part of if not my life then certainly most of my adult travels. Some way or the other they always have something to do with her and they always have something to do with some freakish tall mountains and seeing the world with another’s eyes, learning new stuff the other one does/knows (anatomy of a penis, how to fly a Cessna…the usual lot)  having a fight or two that’s aimed at making the other a better friend and a shitload of photos as an understatement.

I’ve never had such a quest before – my naïve plan to write a little every day as I should have been, didn’t hold for a single day. There was SO much to do. And this was even without driving around, because we lost the car halfway in. That is not to say we saw, checked, achieved or experienced nothing. Few assumptions could be further from the truth – we had some of the best and worst moments any host/guest dynamic can hope for, plus quite a bit of getting her hooked up on Game of Thrones :P  There was girl talk (with plenty different girls) and jealous fights, there was healthy work competition and some flirting, there was not enough of everything and a little bit of everything. Whole seasons of ANTM consumed during sleepless nights. Food. If you ask me, this was one of those obvious ‘time flies when you’re young and having fun’, because time didn’t fly at all: it burped, hiccupped and farted and a month was gone. 

We had perfect weather. Though cold enough for her to wear a parka when she first arrived (exhausted, too little body fat and too much healthy food offer nothing in means of keeping oneself warm), she had spent the last day swimming almost four hours in a crystal lake. Rainstorms (and hailstorm!) almost every day, a season of flip flops and Russian fox fur hats.

At first we did go see a far off tourist sight, drove around for the day and took a million snapshots. Castles, bee museums, medieval farms, sandwiches, all that jazz :) Eventually there would have been caves, seaside, mountains and ancient ruins, too, but we seriously never managed to fit them in our schedule – a dozen photo-shoots, plenty treks, loads of different invitations, the clay workshop, movie theater, playing yahtzee, hanging out with different crowd, pancakes, mushroom hunting, meeting families, tattooing, dozens of ‘drinks’ a million rum balls (rumbles) and all in between…
People often think that the last day spent on earth has something to do with a lot of money, careless choices, Russian hookers, doing all those things you’ve never dared do before… Well, no, not really. I don’t have things I would want to do that I have never dared do before. I know exactly how the last day would be spent and one third of it was how we spent Ape’s last day: we rode a train to another town where a power plant sported a nice, nice lake to have a wet photo session (and we did.) The weather was perfect, clouds really made an effort to pose posh. But before that, we delved into a chocolate café called Lucifer (Devilishly good chocolate indeed!), where I introduced her to consecutive multiple oral orgasm, induced by one of their chocolates called the white caramel – this is what it’s like to eat gold for breakfast. And their blueberry puff cake… It is like being kissed gently on your eyelids by a forest God. 

And then she packed and I wanted to post the shoot batch called The Drowning or Funeral of a disco ball, so as I wouldn’t cry and make it more difficult on her. Luckily she had no choice, so there was no choice to make. Somehow Lyra got out of her cage to come and say hi the last time, which was kinda awesome of the crazy horny mutt. Ape meanwhile packed two of the heaviest bags one can imagine (lead is not as dense as her packing), plus two liters of honey and plenty rum balls in case the plane crashes and she has to survive alone for several years on a raft made of her backpack… At 1:40 am we dragged it all though the zombie town that is my sleeping city, she left a little bit of a knee on the sidewalk (appears to be her goodspeed ritual) and the tiny train came and that was it. She was off to learn burnt victims surgery.

The strangest thing, how we get used to having friends over. It felt like only a moment ago the General, Claire and I collected her from the airport; only a moment ago we were making a long list of things she has to see, all of which melted into a pleasant, chillaxing rollercoaster of crazy impromptus. And then you wake up one day and a great moment has passed. Lesson: never, ever, ever waste time.