Tuesday, 5 February 2013

Movie 43 - amazing actors waaaay out of their comfort zones. Approve..

Just home from the theatre with G. Still laughing. I went in with reaaaaally really low expectations, as this only scored 3/100 on Metacritic, but I really liked it. I haven't seen a movie this fucked up since Your Highness. People hate it, of course they do, as it's awfully gruesome, pointless and over-the top, but it was just so funny. Most of the time I was afraid to watch, hiding behind the General's arm, and I had to pee twice, I laughed so hard. He didn't like it as much. He has way better taste than me. 

Halle Berry after squirting hot pepper sauce in her vagina. I'm not kidding. She actually does that.
       But think about it. I know EXACTLY how poor Kate Winslet felt, unable to focus on anything but those godawful neck balls on otherwise dreamy Hugh Jackman. I also admired Halle Berry to make ugly faces and mock her otherwise beyond flawless appearance. And the story about the girl's first period, as tasteless as that may be, that's EXACTLY how men act around a woman menstruating. I know men who would rather stab another man in the chest with a bayonet than touch a CLEAN/unused tampon. And certain odd sexual requests can turn really nasty. Also I know that. Though really, really not to that extent.  'Do not fuck the iPod' add was hilariously cynical. And the cat story, at the end, with the song 'the cat that fucked up my life', that was really sad. Not as sad as 'Kids in ATM Machines'. All in all, I loved most of these stories. Maybe not the one with the still alive and fat Culkin and Emma Stone as much, although she is so very beautiful. The only odd thing - I never got to see the "Pitch" sketch. It just wasn't there. No idea why. Ah, well. 
        It helps a great deal if you go in with ZEEEERO expectations. I had great ones for the Hobbit and came out viciously orgasmless with that one.

Someone explain to me why Snooki reading Moby Dick to someone is the seventh circle of Hell? I got the Snooki bit, but not the Moby Dick bit. Is it because it's a long book? Or cause she didn't get it? Or what? That one I didn't get.