Thursday, 8 August 2013

Fox Vs. Jolie for Barbarella remake? Really??

This is a great description of the plot: After an in-flight anti-gravity striptease (masked by the film's opening titles), Barbarella, a 41st century astronaut, lands on the planet Lythion and sets out to find the evil Durand Durand in the city of Sogo, where a new sin is invented every hour. There, she encounters such objects as the Exessive Machine, a genuine sex organ on which an accomplished artist of the keyboard, in this case, Durand Durand himself, can drive a victim to death by pleasure, a lesbian queen who, in her dream chamber, can make her fantasies take form, and a group of ladies smoking a giant hookah which, via a poor victim struggling in its glass globe, dispenses Essance of Man. You can't help but be impressed by the special effects crew and the various ways that were found to tear off what few clothes our heroine seemed to possess. Based on the popular French comic strip.
None of it, though, would have worked without the excellent performance from Jane Fonda who, at the time, literally embodied everything that's great about earthling females. Down to her last tiny imperfection, she was (and somewhat still is) perfect. Even in this sex crazed role. Even in some other sex-based roles, like Klute. But the fact that this spacey soft core is so hilarious, relies solo on her innocence and cuteness. Even though B. humbs everything that throws a shadow, it's adorable, because she is so clumsy, naive and darling about it.

And then they want to do a remake and cast a good looking bad actress who makes makes porn stars seem modest:

Or a woman, who is much too old and looks like a depleted sex doll to begin with?

Both of which have played their 'i'm basically just fuck-me-cheap on legs" roles to their maximum several times over. I mean, what would Jolie as Barbarella be? A blonder Lara Croft?

I really hope they don't fuck up that classic with this kind of casting. "Ooh, look, I'm a sex symbol, I should be perfect for playing a sex symbol! I'll just stand there and PR will do the rest!" Everyone loves Barbarella. Leave it alone!