Thursday, 13 December 2012

Appearances and stuff

Things, I notice lately, that turn me on: 

When people kneel down/squat on one knee to pick something up or touch something on the floor. I have no idea why (probably, because I don't like doing that myself, as I don't like being any closer to the ground than strictly necessary), but I get really really aroused if I see it done by someone (who has good looking legs). The pose is hard to describe, because I like when one knee is pointing down and the other up to the chest, but I know it when I see it.

Rounded chins on thin people. In photography I loooove the beautiful jawline that accentuates the neck, but in people who move and talk, I like the plumper curve. Hayden Panettiere in Nashville plays this really well. When she's not posing and she pushes her jaw in, she gets this adorable underchin. So, so cute.

People slurring certain sound ever so slightly. When they say shhesh instead of s. Not like they're retarded, but as if it was an accent. Turn on, again :))

People who have naturally darker eyelids. I find that to be just amazing. Like they spent an hour applying natural looking makeup on their eyes every morning. (like I must to get the effect). Also, if their eyelids are sort of perpetually, ever so slightly moist, that is a slam dunk for my affection. I've kissed the General's eyelids so many times because of this, I'm amazed his eyeballs haven't been pushed back into his scull.

Things that really freak me out:

Men who pay money for their physical appearance. (Visiting barbers notwithstanding.) Well, not just men, but more men than women. I understand a woman wants to look pretty, it's in their nature and almost all go to hairdressers and suchlike. (I don't bother as trying to be pretty would be lost on me and it has never been my deciding chip.) But men are supposed to be confident and aggressive in their nonchalance. For a man to go see a beautician to shape their brows, my god. I'm not sure whether to laugh or cry.

In fact, men who tend to their body hair, at all. I understand that at times it's aesthetically preferable to shave the chest if only a few hairs are sticking out or if you are doing a very expensive swimsuit commercial for D&G or a PG-13 adventure movie, but if I see a man who has hair on their tummy going down shaved into a line, I would refuse to give such a man a social chance even if he was a Nobel peace prize winner. I think if I got the chance to bed even Arnold Vosloo and he turned out to have his boy parts shaved into a certain elegant form, I would run away screaming.

Another turn off regarding floors. Having a dirt-phobia is such a nuisance. I'm telling ya. Even if I keep my living-area floors reasonably clean and vacuum rather regularly, and don't allow pets to come into the living room... If we cleaned the floor AN HOUR beforehand, when we jump in to have a quickie on a sofa or something, and a cushion or a blankie gets pushed off, I notice it. My temperature rising gets kicked down a few percent. And if the floor hasn't been cleaned in a few days and a cushion gets pushed off, I actually find a position to pick it up during and shake it. Which isn't always easy as the General tends to make things fairly all over the place, but I make an effort. I can't concentrate otherwise.

Aristocrats. People, born into money and title who think they can talk down to other people, because they were born into servant status. People, so bored and narrow minded, that they spend their days in rigid pedantness so acute, they are able to resent you for life if you look in the wrong direction when you shake their hand. People who make other people bow. People, who have a say in who goes to school and not, who gets to eat and not, who gets to marry whom or not. I am very happy to be born in distinctly socialistic and liberal environment. I would have been in a lot of trouble otherwise. Unless maybe if I was the executioner in the French Revolution, pulling the lever of the guillotine.