Friday, 31 July 2015

The Cosby Show

Love this New York magazine cover of the women who were "allegedly assaulted" - the article makes sure to repeat this word indefinitely until it sounds very sarcastic - by Bill Cosby, a man who is now standing in the middle of a very polarized field: you have some who ardently defend him and some who will not have anything to do with him anymore. I especially love the empty chair, which, although it could mean something like 'etcetera' or 'anyone could be next', feels more like encouragement: "If you're one, come forth. We're right here."

The General and I got into the (very short) discussion about a) why now and not before? and b) what's the truth of the he said she said situation? I get a little bit upset any time a man starts to hint he doubts an assault has taken place, which G knows, so as soon as I opened the subject, he fled, saying he is certainly not going to debate assault charges with a woman who's on her period. 

I haven't read all of the article yet, so I may return to this later - here are my thought. A lot of women get sexually assaulted. Obviously there's a difference between being raped to death by a gang or being pinched in the bum by dirty uncle Harry. A lot of times I really hate the women for being such freaking victims. Going on and on and oooon about how much they suffer afterwards. Get the fuck over it. Sexual assault is a bad thing, it's just not an excuse for you to keep attracting bad shit for decades afterwards. At the same time, though, I cannot abide men saying derogatory things on the subject. 'She probably wanted it', 'she was just ashamed afterwards, so she lied', 'why was she in his place to begin with', etc... I got sexually assaulted a couple of times in my first two decades ... maybe five or six times. Once a pedophile lured me into a street hallway and touched me and wanted me to touch him; I was about four or five. I remember EVERYTHING. Then there was the dirty neighbor, who liked us to go to a private little place and be 'nice to one another'. Suuuure, let's do that. When you hitchhike, men try. Stuff like that. These things were never really terrible, they were just kind of creepy and uncomfortable and because I was little, I had no idea what to think. I certainly didn't think 'oh, Gods, now I am traumatized for life!'... Adults did things that were a lot worse to other people. I never thought much about adults, so none of this was particularly shocking. I just learned how to avoid shit. Granted, you can never really be 100% sure. We live in a world where in some cultures it's okay to get raped for wearing a skirt, because this advertises you're asking for it. Or where a husband cannot rape a wife, because she's supposed to be always willing. Or where you get high-fived in prison for being a rapist. Heck, being polite to someone can mean you're flirty and hence a slut and hence asking for it.

The problem occurs in the case of Bill Cosby, where adult, normal women of slightly inferior social standing (by normal I mean otherwise rational, even street-wise or careful women, who just want to be nice to a guy they admire or want to work on Tv or suchlike) find themselves in a shitty situation they just cannot win in. I don't think much of Janice Dickinson, I think she's an idiot, but she was young and naive once, I imagine. I imagine myself, getting a hot job offer, something really great, say, a photographer for a New York magazine - I fly to their office, I meet with some people, I meet with the chief editor at the late hours, because that's when editors work, he offers me some white decaf and I black out. I wake up in a cab with by undies on backwards and my hoho full of semen. What the fuck do I do? Do I tell G? I can't. I am ashamed, I feel so incredibly stupid, I am so afraid he will go and kill the guy. Do I tell the police? The story will be I fucked the editor for the job. And who is he and who am I? And even if I do go to the police and stand tall on my story, I will probably be paid off to be quiet. These women, they are old now and many of them respected and STILL they are now facing a shitstorm of accusations and doubts for speaking up. I know what I would do NOW, but I am old and happily married , I am not desperate for money and I am not afraid of men. But once you get this game going, as Cosby must have had with his charm and his quaaludes, you play it on young women, on kids, on desperate, naive people. People far less articulate and famous than you are.

... At this point General carefully and slowly asked if I've ever had a sexual assault experience and didn't tell him since we've been together. Adorable thing. No. It doesn't really happen much to people who can handle themselves - it happens to people who can't. Sexual predators aren't stupid. The terrible part is that sometimes the people you tell about it, like doctors or cops, are.

By the way ... I came upon this while surfing for Life expectancy rates around the world and  found ... have you guys ever heard of Lesotho? It's a tiny African country. The beauty of the land notwithstanding, that must be what Hell is like.

Do not judge a greatness of a country by how many egomaniac men took up the forced armies and marched around to rob and pillage everything they could steamroll over (Fuck you, Alexander The GREAT, you killing, raping, power-crazed fascist moron) - judge a nation by how it treats it's women. It may take a little while before we get there, but we're getting there slowly.