Wednesday, 4 June 2014

Unhappy endings

Alternating between reading Hemingway, who was usually so angry about being dumped that he wrote female character deaths in just about any of his more autobiographical pieces (in reality all those women lived long and happy lives with someone less obsessive) - and between Marquez with his jour de vivre, mostly regarding whores and happiness and passion,
I have decided to write a sad story within my novel. Normally I wouldn't do that, because sad endings freak me out. If there can't be a happy ending, I prefer it do be a dubious ending, so I can still imagine it all ended well. I'm a closeted idealist, so I always do. And a few days ago I wrote a dubious, closeted idealistic option for an ending.. But yesterday, I cut it in  entirety and replaced it with a passage that does sort of redeem the character the scene was about, but ends badly. So badly, in fact, you keep thinking 'Yea, but... She can fix that, right? I mean, she's a fantasist and a pagan. Surely she can do something about it... Right?'
This will remain my one unhappy vice - the dead will stay dead, just this once, and some loves go unrequited. Sometimes things end badly.
Not on my watch, but, you know. Characters should be aware how little it takes for one bad day to ruin your whole life. Sometimes the light goes out in people and can never be turned on again. To them death and dying is a joke henceforth. They are the antithesis of jour de vivre.
Sorry, little one. You're fucked.