Sunday, 21 August 2011

Babtism of fire

Aah, my first real field assignment...  A loud event, posh spa, good looking young people, expensive DJs, cocktail bars in the middle of pools, lit by super colorful spotlights and disco groove... First thing they did was shove a VIP pass and a cute baggie with towels and bathrobe and gave me a tour of some very impressive environment... And I got a very pretty room, probably prettiest I've had since mum and dad paid for our vacations... And for all intents and purposes I SHOULD be feeling grand, but in truth all I am feeling is... Loneliness.

Sure the pool party is exclusive and everyone is young and pretty, but if there was not for the camera, I would have been feeling like a leper. I would feel like I used to feel in school, the ugly geek shoved aside. Now everyone wants to be my friends, because they want to see themselves on pretty pictures, but all my instincts tell me to go to my room and wait till it's over. I'm cooling my brain under the air-conditioned new-ness and clean-ness, ogling tiny shampoos and paper slippers, thinking of the wild real world beyond the door. I don't know how well I will do, I simply have nothing to base my expectations upon. I am a good natural beauty photographer - never shot a spa disco party before... Maybe I'll do exceptionally well, maybe the clients will be fidgety. I simply don't know. First thing they tried to do was dress me into a pretty dress... Which didn't happen... Sorry, that's just not me. And I didn't come here to parade, I came to work. Marky isn't the most thrilled camera ever, because the spa main building is beyond hot and humid, only to become more so with nightfall. But Marky is a pro.
     I ate some chocolate and a pear that I brought along. Always telling my models to have water and food along, I am that much more thorough with my rations. Everything here costs a joke  - and the two small Aloa Vera waters I brought will leave me thirsty. I know why the General fled as soon as we spotted the hotel... This room, this scene, this area - it's a cushy resort for the working, rich likes to unplug their mind and kick their shoes off. It's not home. I used to think everything new and clean is better than home (which is old and dusty), but now all I can think of how much I want to be in the same old dirty room with the General, sitting naked under the ceiling fan, watching MythBusters, playing Warcraft, reading, eating ice-cream and arguing who will take the dog out into this ridiculous heat... That's home. This here is the heavy duty exercise.

Man my ears are ringing! Yeesh. Talk about noisy after hours! Is it safe to say I have gone to my first house-techno party?.... Naa. If I had gone proper, I'd have drank and smoked and take enough speed to swim in the reflection of water on the ceiling...
        I miss my hubbsies. He is asleep somewhere far, far away, his cute, cool naked bum under two quilts, temperature in the house around the time when the army shoe soles stick to the outdoor pavement... Missing me. Missing my stolen kisses, my blatant sexual advances, my reading to him before the gentle snoring starts...

My hair was dyed a day ago, so the water that is now dripping onto the pristine sheets of my hotel room is these funny tiny orange diamonds, tickling me just so... I am sleepy, nay, fuck tired, but I drank a Red Bull and won't be able to close my eyes for a while... For a duration of a nasty aliens featuring sex fantasy, I'd say... Why does it have to be aliens again you ask? Because swimming through those fancy pool tunnels in blazing neon underwater light was so cool :D Reminded me of the scene in Alien Resurrection. My least favorite of the franchise, but there's bizarre swimming in it, so... Do the math :p

Laters still…
So I took all the pictures. All. Not sure I will be able to post any on the blog, but perhaps I will be able to share links to them... Towards the end the dancing ladies duo actually showed some funky talent, playing with fire, swallowing it, blowing it, juggling, twirling and testing it... At the EXACT moment when the pretty lady looked at me if I'm ready for the grand finale, I ran out of film, so to say. I hastily had to erase some of the previous shots and I really hope that amidst the 1400 they will like at least a few. The conditions were ghastly:  humid tp the point of black fog, dark with ugly, dim, red strobe lights, lonely and wet (and that's not even mentioning all the creeps that wanted me to shot them making a slash and would shower on Marky.) and they wanted crisp, bright pictures of dancing crowds... It certainly will be interesting to see what they say of the results. Personally I love some of them, but probably not for the same reasons.

Still can't slepp :S
There have been some such odd people here. By odd I mean everyday normal, just... Bit scary. Desperate men, tasteless women... It certainly was the opportunity to peacock. Some people wore skimpy outfits that will haunt me for a while... Tell me, just what is agreeable about a male who has violently fake tan, bleached highlights in head hair, shaved body hair ALL over, so gruesomely muscular body that he looks like a poor soul that's been left behind in a gym over winter and is wearing a very small, white swim wear with leathery golden rim... In short, he appears to be expecting and audition for Jersey Shore...

Caaaaaan't sleeeeeep :/. Can't think much either, but it's almost three am and I am stuck between the hardcore awareness and Sandman and not in the admirable sense... Counting sheep...

Morning. Early.
Ookaay, I guess it worked :p  it's a new day, new ways to make it good >.< Muahahaha!

Okay, so I may be a bit brain dead from the lack of sleep. I am beginning to develop a theory, that all is well if the free food is well. Even if I only slept four or so hours after a nasty day of hard work, and Red Bull has this hangover akin to being jet lagged, I feel accomplished. This must be what mornings after heavy international fashion photoshoots must feel like. Nasty, self righteous and with a complimentary mint on the pillow. I do feel a little bit bad because my hair made everything look like some very medieval prima noctis had been taking place - and would have left my favorite chewing gum for the maids, but that would be admitting a fault and somebody could charge me. Best I just play it stern and accuse them of melting my hair with the chlorium. I'm not nice, I know. Can't afford it.

Aaaaargh, I can't wait for the General to get here. I will tell him EVERYTHING about my breakfast, just to make him regret his decision to leave me here the only single female in the premises. (But in Marky's good hands, hah.)  He called to tell me that after four years he finally managed to make a kill - which I only allowed and withdrew the jinx, because if he failed to show initiative, his friend, who took him into the pack, might feel slighted.. So there was this one old, dirty deer, slow and ailing, who lasted another duration of a gunshot, then painlessly went down. Blood debt repaid, now we can have another four years of jinxing :p

But off the morbid subject, a new day: heat is slowly returning, at nine sitting outside, sipping orange juice (don't tell anyone) is already a bit uncomfortable. I don't think anybody else is awake. If they plan to make me wait until eleven, when rooms are cleared by guests, to finish everything we left unsaid last night, no, thank you. I am an early bird and when business is on the table, oddly enough, I am ridiculously professional. I am alone here, the other elder guests are yet to start slowly to fill the tables. Something about their bossy voices - women especially - makes me warm inside :) Ahh, the times grandma used to take us to spas and resorts and everything this neat seemed for granted... But this isn't what I remember resorts to be like... This must be what genuine four star hotels are like - judging by the breakfast buffet...  And the fact they charge three bucks for a squeezed lemon.

I just loooove buffets. Just love them. Big, plethoral tables with decorations in the middle, variety of foods in tiny rations with silver spatulas neatly arranged... Awh. So yummy. And I like the tiny pieces alternative, as then I can sample a bit of everything.

For breakfast they even had several different fried hotdogs and wieners, and - awwwwwwwww - eggs 'sunny side up' cut into little circles! Even struklji, but I didn't eat those, nor anything from the voluptuous crispy snacks and nuts bar... I had a croissant with French butter and a little piece of

Never mind, General is here! <3 :D  Enough for one day :P