Monday, 29 July 2013

Saving private Stanley .. Alas, unsuccesfully :/

 Stanko, in memoriam.

So, dad calls me and we chat and whatnot and he asks if I planned on coming uphill today. I said that, being so incredibly hot, I was actually planning on barricading myself in and not moving until Wednesday. He asked if I would come anyways, because they found a snake tangled in the nets (anty-hail nets on grapes) and he would need help getting it untangled. I said, damn, okay, but can I come in the evening so i don't catch a stroke in the car? This of course didn't roll, even I knew that, because chance would be the snake got a stroke first. This was a rescue operation. Dad asked me to go to my television thingie (internet) and see what sort of a snake it was. I supposed it was an Aesculapian. Dad said it was very pretty indeed, about a meter long, golden green, pale on the belly. He just said to make sure it's not venomous. You know. So I won't be in any danger, should I assist him.


... dad?
Have you been bitten by a snake and don't wanna tell mum?
Well, yes, now that you mention it.
Holy shit! When was this??
Bout two hours ago.
And?? have you been feeling sick, swelling, seizing, foaming at the mouth and suchlike??
Not really, no.

So, I drove up in the heat of the heatwave and we set off to rescue Stanley. Unfortunately, Stanley wasn't the most serpentine of snakes and he/she unfortunately managed to strangle itself, desperately trying to cawl THROUGH the nets. We brought scissors to try and help, but it was too late. Poor thing was already hissing through the tall grasses of snakey heaven. Dad got really sad :(

I taught dad the safe word, so that next time when he asks me when I'm coming uphill again, I'll know he's actually asking me to call an ambulance. Luckily, this was 'snake bit a man and died' scenario. He used to catch venomous ones when he was young, in the army, but that was, say, 50 years ago.